Capone Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 The girl I have feelings for happens to be my friend's girlfriend. He knew I had feelings for her before he tried getting with her (she had feelings for me as well at the time), but the timing is what screwed me over. Sorry for the long read, but I have to get this off my chest, since there is no one else I can talk to. My friend and I met this girl last year around spring time through some friends, we'll call her Rachel. At the time she was in a relationship, but the first time I laid eyes on her, it was like a love at first sight moment. In my eyes she was perfect, which suprised me because I hadn't felt feelings that strong for a girl ever in my life. I'm sort of the shy type, but I knew that the second she was single I'd have to try something. Anyways, she seemed to think we were cool to hang out with, so from that day on we all started hanging out in a group every weekend. We had some crazy nights, and as I got to know her more, my feelings for her grew. The only problem was that she was in a relationship, so I couldn't let anyone know I liked her. As weeks passed, we began hanging out more and more, and I began noticing how much of a loser her b/f at the time was. He was always asking her for money (even stealing from her at times), and seemed like he was only with her for sex. At this point I didn't like her boyfriend at all, but I still had no intentions of interfeering because I didn't even know if she had any feelings toward me. Then the best thing happend, she broke up with her b/f because of all the fighting and didn't want any contact with him at all. This is where we started hanging out a lot more, going from just the weekends to every other day. At this point I loved everything about her, I wanted just to tell her how much I have feelings for her, but she just broke up with her boyfriend so I decided to give her some time. Not to mention I started getting more shy towards her because she was now single and I was so attracted to her. Fast forward to a month later... We all decided to hang out on a friday night and have a few drinks. I decided that this was the night I wanted to tell her my feelings for her. The whole night I kept getting signs that I thought she was interested, we kept looking at each other and looking away when we caught each other (lol I know sounds like a highschool thing but I never felt this way for a girl before). This is where everything seemed to go perfect, we got picked up by another friend, her and I sitting next to each other in the back with my friend that I mentioned earlier in the back too (the friend shes dating now). Me and her randomly caught eye contact, and just stared into each others eyes, til finally I leaned in and we made out. It was the perfect moment, if no1 else was there with us it probably would of gone a lot farther. We hung out til the sun rise, and she left to go to work, and we had the last kiss we probably ever will. Now heres where the story gets ****ed up, when she left, a friend and I decided to do some stupid **** that I won't mention and got arrested. At the time I had charges pending against me, so I knew I was screwed. I got bailed out and had to go to court the next day, so I still had one last chance to talk to Rachel. That's when she confessed to me that she had feelings for me since the day we met and I told her the same, I knew I was getting locked up the next day so I didnt ask her out. We talked the whole night, she wished me luck and wanted to hang out the first thing after court. Too bad I got 6 months when I went to court (my friend got off with probation since he had no record), and at that point I never been so depressed. I did my 6 months and was released 5 months ago. Hoping to fix things with Rachel, I learn that she's now dating the friend I got charged with.. There still together to this day, and I can't help but wonder how perfect life would be if I got my chance. I can't stop thinking about her, and at times I want to kill the friend, but I decided to leave it as it is, because if it was meant to be it would of happend. I really feel me and her would of had something special, but now it's too late. I can't stop thinking about her, and everytime I see her I get the same feeling from the first time I met her. What can I do to lose feelings for her? I'm so lost right now in my life that I feel everything is ****ed up.. Anyways thanks if you took the time to read this all..
WorriedOne Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Hey man, I read your whole post. I'll skip to the last question you asked at the end. What can I do to lose feelings for her? Honestly man, the best way to get over a girl is to find another one. The next girl doesn't need to be "THE ONE" or your future wife or any of that crud. It can just be a cute girl who wants to have fun with you. The more you hook up the less you'll care about this Rachel girl. You played it straight by giving her room after she broke up with her boyfriend - that was a mature move. If you keep acting that way you will eventually find the right woman. But right now...just get out there, date a lot of girls, have some fun.
Beautiful Inside Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 first of all i wanna say dont ever feel bad for posting long threads dude this is what people are here for seriously i love reading and trying to help people out vise versa you know... any who check this **** out real talk worried one is right about the only way to get over a girl is to find another one and you will....first of all you dont want to be with someone who had feelings for you but then hooked up with your friend so easily at the same time...you know honestly i would never ever ever consider hooking up with any of my ex's friends or my current bf's friends just don't go there ever. i know you guys weren't anything but still she knew it would be bad and hard for you not to mention how awkward are things now between you three seriously....this was like the perfect love novel up until you go arrested but seriously i just feel like everything happens for a reason honestly who knows maybe the real smart beautiful chick is going to come along when you least suspect it and you'll then realize that hey im glad things worked out the way they did! ....
mental_traveller Posted March 30, 2009 Posted March 30, 2009 What can I do to lose feelings for her? I'm so lost right now in my life that I feel everything is ****ed up.. Anyways thanks if you took the time to read this all.. That sucks, I can sympathize. IMO the best way to get rid of feelings for someone is to have NO CONTACT at all with them - no emails, calls, no meeting, no talking, nothing at all. Do that for 6 months+ and your feelings will subside. Another way is to meet someone new who you have similar feelings for, but that is hard because strong feelings for someone are rare. Still, if you date around and sleep with some other girls it'll probably take your mind of it. It's also good to throw your energy into something, whether working out, something career-based etc. Anything worthwhile with a goal.
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