Jaytb Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Ouch my eyes. I don’t agree with you on this. I think if you really wanted to make an equal comparison you could say that Disney fairy tales to women are to action adventure to men. I don’t know one woman that suggests or wants a guy to dress up like prince charming and take her on a pumpkin ride or who masturbates to Disney. Or even wants her man to act so contrived. I do know lots of men that want their partner to dress up or “less dress” as a porn star and act like one. And women will do this probably more times then men do the reverse. I suggest you take a look at some personals written by women. Pay attention to some of their language, like Prince Charming or Mr Right or whatever. Anyways the fantasy is not important. The point is don't act like women don't have the same problem. A lot of what you're saying about men is true about women. Some give effort into a relationship, some don't. Both men and women are doing this. Don't blame men. I don’t really get hit on by the guys I would like to be hit on by…that is when I do get hit on. Not because they don’t make enough money or are bad looking but because they just aren’t compatible with me and I often wonder why they hit on me to begin with. And why the guys I would be interested in, don't. My standards are not unrealstic and I have been attracted to all types.My question would be what different types have you given a chance? I feel like a big source of failure of relationships comes from women or men only going after one type (mostly because of attraction), and each time they expect the relationship to turn out different than before. They are shocked when similar things happen in a new relationship because what do you know, you're dating a guy or girl with the same personality as before. Now I'm not saying this is why all relationships fail, in fact I won't pretend I know anything about anyone else's relationships, but I think there's a lot of people who miss out on possibly a good person because they have so much in their mind about what their perfect partner looks like, and they can't recognize that they could come in different packaging, so to speak. By they way, I give plenty of effort into my relationship. Possibly more than my father. And I'm young and thus immature
The Collector Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Anyways, before some of you guys wade in and bludgeon JS for her beliefs, review your own glass houses. Her beliefs are that men suck. I think we know how women respond to threads that criticize them.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Collector, I never said men suck. Any time there is a discussiong to try and discuss things with men that show their more negative behavior, it seems that it is easier to perscute me (or that person), then really talk about the discussion and your opinion on it whether you agree or disagree. It's like you guys can't handle anything that actually might be honest about your more negative behaviors. I suggest you take a look at some personals written by women. Pay attention to some of their language, like Prince Charming or Mr Right or whatever. Anyways the fantasy is not important. The point is don't act like women don't have the same problem. Well, I don't really agree with you so I am not acting like anything. And you competely ignored the other points I made in regards to this about the fact that I don't know any woman that wants her man to act or be or dress Prince Charming but tons of men that do want their wives to act and dress like a pornstar.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I don't know any woman that wants her man to act or be or dress Prince Charming but tons of men that do want their wives to act and dress like a porn star. MMMMMMMM... porn star!! just makes me feel all fuzzy inside...
Mahatma Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Hmm, I read the last couple of pages and most people are just trying to defend themselves. Since I do not know much about those currently in defense mode, I will offer my own personal opinion. I think all people make less effort today than our parents. This regards everything, not just the pursue of relationships.
soserious1 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 That "guide" is a bit of a joke, but at the same time it comes from a time where men were the sole bread-winners. If you were the woman in a relationship where you were the sole bread-winner and your husband were the stay-at-home-spouse would those guidelines seem so unrealistic? Hmm.. I was the sole bread winner in my marriage, my husband felt that the expectation that the stay at home spouse handle the bulk of cleaning,cooking and laundry smacked of entitlement.. I did 50 % or better of everyday tasks and did ALL of the unpleasant chores.. he never cleaned a toilet or scooped a catbox and never did any of the quarterly deep cleaning the house required. In these difficult economic times more and more women are in the position of being sole bread winners and are still faced with heading home to do the bulk of the tasks that go into rearing kids,running a household.
Lovelybird Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I agree with this, but I have to say that this cannot be all put at women's feet. The fact is that if you want to hold off sex, if you want to actually get to know the guy a little first, then you WILL be seen as odd and most men won't pursue it any further. We've had several men on this forum state that they wouldn't. I've had sex many times before I thought it was wise to do so, just because I felt like that was expected at that point of the RL. It is what men expect these days. It's true, Cherry, it is responsibility of both sides Then it is good if they don't pursue further just because you don't offer sex yet. then we can see their hearts by this. Patience will pay great good later. This can weed out sex seekers, irresponsiblers (new word?), comitment phobias, hit and runners, players, for-funners.... A good gentlemen will appreciate your patience So we have to focus on our goals, what goals are? not instant satisfaction, not instant emotion need being met, but a decent man who has strong fragrant characters that can last long I studied the song of Solomons, it is amazing, it not only hints what a woman really wants, also states how a woman wants to be treated. It's an ideal picture, but many happy women experienced this also. I think mordern women should be redeemed the precious worth in them, and act like that.
Mahatma Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Also, someone defended it, but I believe online dating is a horrible example of this problem. Sure, online dating my be some work, but it takes the anxiety of making that very first move to ask someone out on a date or their number. It allows people to hide behind the wall of the internet.
Jaytb Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Well, I don't really agree with you so I am not acting like anything. And you competely ignored the other points I made in regards to this about the fact that I don't know any woman that wants her man to act or be or dress Prince Charming but tons of men that do want their wives to act and dress like a pornstar. You want to play the "my anecdotal experience overrules everything else" game then fine. I don't know any men who want a pornstar wife, I mean a lot want someone good looking but not overtly sexual like a pornstar. Most guys I know want good looks combined with something of substance like intelligence or personality or whatever. And you're still being completely one sided about the issue. What about women who cheat, play men, play hard to get or other games, say one thing and do another, blah blah blah blah. We could go on and on about how women suck just like you can go on and on about how men suck. (oh wait, I just realized you didn't say men suck. But you admit to being bitter about men.)
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Hmm, I read the last couple of pages and most people are just trying to defend themselves. Since I do not know much about those currently in defense mode, I will offer my own personal opinion. I think all people make less effort today than our parents. This regards everything, not just the pursue of relationships. I don't know tho I mean like some one pointed out earlier while yes maybe men don't openly pursue women as much in real life any more. They do I would think work harder to keep their women happy once the relationships formed in citrin ways. I mean 30 40 years ago it was unheard of for a man to support his wife if she wanted a career over a family. It just wasn't how things were done now today you see men being the stay at home parent while wifeys out bringing home the bread no?
Mahatma Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I don't know tho I mean like some one pointed out earlier while yes maybe men don't openly pursue women as much in real life any more. They do I would think work harder to keep their women happy once the relationships formed in citrin ways. I mean 30 40 years ago it was unheard of for a man to support his wife if she wanted a career over a family. It just wasn't how things were done now today you see men being the stay at home parent while wifeys out bringing home the bread no? Well, in today's age, it is simply accepted (almost required now) that a woman can work. My mother's parents were willing to send her brother to college, but not her.... since she was a female.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Well, in today's age, it is simply accepted (almost required now) that a woman can work. My mother's parents were willing to send her brother to college, but not her.... since she was a female. Times change and so do men and women on the flip side it use to be an unsaid rule women knew how to cook WELL I'm not talkin mac & cheese. And that they were to keep the house clean and so on the womanly duties if you like. Now a days most women cant or refuse to do these things like I said times change and people I think that about sums it up..
Mahatma Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Times change and so do men and women on the flip side it use to be an unsaid rule women knew how to cook WELL I'm not talkin mac & cheese. And that they were to keep the house clean and so on the womanly duties if you like. Now a days most women cant or refuse to do these things like I said times change and people I think that about sums it up.. Hmm... I think times are just more diverse now. My current girlfriend loves to cook and help me clean. She is completely willing to cook for me, and sometimes she does, but most of the time I prefer to not be waited on like that and just plain enjoy doing stuff with her.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Hmm... I think times are just more diverse now. My current girlfriend loves to cook and help me clean. She is completely willing to cook for me, and sometimes she does, but most of the time I prefer to not be waited on like that and just plain enjoy doing stuff with her. Well you got luckey then my bro married a chick that to this day doesn't know how to wash a dish! Seriously she once let them get moldy then threw them away and replaced them all! His kids grew up off of take aways and mcds I guess the moral the of the story is if men have become lazy then women have as well...
Mahatma Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Well you got luckey then my bro married a chick that to this day doesn't know how to wash a dish! Seriously she once let them get moldy then threw them away and replaced them all! His kids grew up off of take aways and mcds I guess the moral the of the story is if men have become lazy then women have as well... I got lucky in more ways than just that! I think both exist. You will find lazy men, and lazy women. You will also find worthy men and worth women. I do believe, however, that there are more lazy men and women in general then there was 20 or 40 years ago.
Jersey Shortie Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I would safely bet 98% of women know how to wash a dish. MMMMMMMM... porn star!! just makes me feel all fuzzy inside... Of course it does. That's what guys want. Not real women who are actually real people.
tanbark813 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Hmm.. I was the sole bread winner in my marriage, my husband felt that the expectation that the stay at home spouse handle the bulk of cleaning,cooking and laundry smacked of entitlement.. I did 50 % or better of everyday tasks and did ALL of the unpleasant chores.. he never cleaned a toilet or scooped a catbox and never did any of the quarterly deep cleaning the house required. And I'm sure, of course, you weren't happy about that. That's kind of my point: In a couple, the stay at home spouse, if any and regardless of gender, essentially has the job of taking care of the house.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I would safely bet 98% of women know how to wash a dish. Of course it does. That's what guys want. Not real women who are actually real people. Yes but do women want to wash those dishes? we all know how to of course. Its the wanting to take the extra effort to make a nice home for the both of you that makes the difference. And yes thats on top of working and so on I did it at one point so working is no excuse.. IMO anyways and thats what seams to be lacking in the modern female mentality. maybe I'm old fashioned but I think its more the womens role to do those things not cause she "has to" but she should again JMHO... Maybe I should run and hide now behind my apron before all the girls start hacking away lol... Guess my point is that maybe these the quality's that some men have expressed missing in a way? I could be off the mark tho never know.. and I'm not talking about every women out there there are exceptions I would guess.. So I guess in the end what men secretly want is a Hot porn star who looks good in an apron and can bake a mean apple pie??? is that about it in a nut shell boys? LOL..
MN randomguy Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Good thread, My $0.02 I don't like not knowing what's expected of me or how it will be received. If you believe in the whole risk/return function imagine another level of risk added. I would be more aggressive if I knew where the line between gallant and creepy was. I'd also pursue more if I knew what that would look like and that it would be accepted well. As stated by many guys here trying is just fruitless. Something needs to change, but I don't know how.
Yellowboy Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 If you think guys aren't making as much effort as our fathers did, oh boy, then you certainly don't realize how much more effort we're actually putting in!!! When is it enough so you women will be so utterly pleased??? :-P This is just generalization btw... however, I do feel women have more options than men do nowadays. Poor us guys we have to constantly walk the fine line of being a great guy and a creepy guy. The only thing I would then ask from the ladies is perhaps a little response towards our actions? We need to know - yes I am interested. No, back off. Some ladies don't even know how to do that.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Don't you know ALL men are creepie because they have COOTIES! its only after YEARS of pre courtship that the dreaded COOTIES then fall off..!
boxing123 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I would safely bet 98% of women know how to wash a dish. Of course it does. That's what guys want. Not real women who are actually real people. I had one of the 2% as well.. On every single dish she would squirt about 2 inches of Dawn dishwashing detergent. She went through an entire bottle washing about 20 dishes and cups..
Jersey Shortie Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 So I guess in the end what men secretly want is a Hot porn star who looks good in an apron and can bake a mean apple pie??? is that about it in a nut shell boys? LOL.. So real women are bleeped no matter what then. Because, hey no matter what we do , you men aren't ever happy. Why should we try to be what you want if you don't want to recipocate. Nice to know that men don't want a human being. Thanks I had one of the 2% as well.. On every single dish she would squirt about 2 inches of Dawn dishwashing detergent. She went through an entire bottle washing about 20 dishes and cups.. You should have taken her out back and shot her.
Jaytb Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 So real women are bleeped no matter what then. Because, hey no matter what we do , you men aren't ever happy. Why should we try to be what you want if you don't want to recipocate. Nice to know that men don't want a human being. Thanks I think a lot of people made good points in this thread that you ignored. Obviously your opinion is never going to change, so I'll be brief. You aren't a man, so how do you know what men want? And how can anyone have any authority on knowing what all men want?
mr.dream merchant Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 I think a lot of people made good points in this thread that you ignored. Obviously your opinion is never going to change, so I'll be brief. You aren't a man, so how do you know what men want? And how can anyone have any authority on knowing what all men want? Cuz man! She done seen it wit her own eyes!
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