Spirit of the Ocean Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hi guys, I'm sure this question has been asked before but I cant seem to find a thread about it I'm new (well 2 months into) to a LDR and it's killing me! My boyfriend and I had been together for 1 and a half years before he had to go to China for 6 months on a scholarship. we decided to stay together obviously because he will be back but I've been paranoid about us ever since... we do try and talk almost every day on MSN or skype but my biggest worry is that he'll get so used to not being around me physically that he'll forget what it was like to be with me? is it normal to feel like like this? please help! thanks!!
LonelyTiger Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 LDRs are tough, worse I think for the one who's left behind. Your relationship is obviously a well established one so you have a solid foundation. If you love each other and you keep talking as often as you can, the next 4 months will fly by and he'll be home before you know it. 6 months might seem like forever, but it definately isn't long enough to 'forget' the person you love. Is there any chance you'll forget what it's like to be with him?
LonelyTiger Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Also meant to say - emotions can be all over the place - for me anyway - some days I'm fine, others I read something bad into every word my husband says - rationally I know we'll be fine - it is just paranoia - so you're not alone there.
Author Spirit of the Ocean Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Thanks alot! i know exactly what u mean - i'm ok about it most days but sometimes if i call and he sounds really distant i'll worry. I know its silly but in the end I just really miss him and really want this to work out. Everyone says positive thinking so i guess that's the way to go! but thanks again, its good to know I'm not the only one who worries alot. p.s. - i really wonder if HE worries as much as i do!
Island Girl Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 p.s. - i really wonder if HE worries as much as i do! Why don't you talk about it? You should be talking these feelings out. If you do -- these conversations can bring you way closer together than you ever imagined. Be honest about what you are feeling when you feel it. Even if it is just paranoia or insecurity. Share your feelings. Yes it takes a lot of vulnerability to do. But this time away can really make the two of you stronger as a couple than you ever were before as long as both of you are being honest and open about everything.
LonelyTiger Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I agree with IG - you should talk about everything - tell him how you feel, that's how the best relationships stay strong. If you find he doesn't worry as much as you do, that's likely to be just his personality rather than anything negative. It won't necessarily stop you having bad days - but good communication is definitely the most important thing when you're apart.
Author Spirit of the Ocean Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Yeah its a lot to do with me being really paranoid- he generally doesnt worry as much as i do. i think i'm scared cos i had this guy that i can see myself with for the rest of my life and i'm scared that it wont work. we try to talk as often as we can, so hopefully it'll go by really soon!
Bearandsue Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I used to think like this when I just got into my LDR ...PARANOID!!!!!!! But I learned not to be by keeping busy and talking to him about how I was feeling. You have a solid foundation so you have nothing to worry about.
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