jessy1 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Ok this is a random question and should probably be in gender but I thought id get more response here.. Anyway I once dated a guy who had seceret relationship with another male before hand. When I uncovered it he insisted he was not gay and it was just a phase he went through... He got REALLY REALLY angry over it and dumped me and now has another gf. I now have a friend in a similar situation... she is dating a guy who has something going on with another male behind her back. When I asked him, again he just insisted it was a phase and begged me not to tell his gf. So my questions is do you males (or females) have phases like this? Or is having a gf a way to cover it up? Im just curious more than anything! Any replies would be awesome! Thanks!!
JamesM Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Two things.... I never had such a phase. Any time someone is having a relationship with one person and then having an intimate relationship with another person, he or she is cheating. It seems that he thinks that since it is with a guy, it is not cheating. Question...if you found out that he was having an affair with a woman, then would you tell his GF? This is no different.
Els Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I don't think it's just a 'phase'. How did you approach him about it, why did it matter so much to you? There's gay, and there's straight, and there's a long long line with every shade of grey in between. It's called being bi. Sounds like he was bi. I'm bi too, I've had a crush on a girl before and I like looking at sexily-dressed women. However, I'm predominantly straight, as I only have emotional connection or investment in men. Is that wrong, to you? Perhaps he was trying to cover it up because he was afraid of how you would judge him? All that is in respect to your ex, though, since he only was with a man BEFORE you. I agree with James, that cheating is cheating, as in the case of your friend... phase, bi, gay, whatever, it doesn't matter.
Author jessy1 Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Thanks guys! I dont have a problem with gays or bis at all. I just heard yesterday of my exs new gf and I guess it really bothered me more than I thought it would! It made me wonder what all the stuff with him and the other guy meant and wonder if it really was just a phase!? I agree with cheating is cheating no matter what gender its with and I will let my friend know. I know she'll have questions about his sexuality so im trying to get some quick answers here before I jump in!
BCCA Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Ive never in my life found another male attractive. Sure, you can look sometimes and see why women might find him attractive, but Ive never gone through any 'phase' in which I was involved with another guy. I dont buy that its just a phase. I think that he is probably surpressing his feelings because he doesnt want to come out of the closet.
tincanman99 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Its not a phase, he is either gay and wont admit to himself or he is bi. End of story. Straight guys dont go through phases. BTW, gay or straight, cheating is cheating.
Alan430 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Ok this is a random question and should probably be in gender but I thought id get more response here.. Anyway I once dated a guy who had seceret relationship with another male before hand. When I uncovered it he insisted he was not gay and it was just a phase he went through... He got REALLY REALLY angry over it and dumped me and now has another gf. I now have a friend in a similar situation... she is dating a guy who has something going on with another male behind her back. When I asked him, again he just insisted it was a phase and begged me not to tell his gf. So my questions is do you males (or females) have phases like this? Or is having a gf a way to cover it up? Im just curious more than anything! Any replies would be awesome! Thanks!! Never was curious about being with another man.. To me its just gross, and not to be hypocritical, but i can see two women together before two men.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Ok this is a random question and should probably be in gender but I thought id get more response here.. Anyway I once dated a guy who had seceret relationship with another male before hand. When I uncovered it he insisted he was not gay and it was just a phase he went through... He got REALLY REALLY angry over it and dumped me and now has another gf. I now have a friend in a similar situation... she is dating a guy who has something going on with another male behind her back. When I asked him, again he just insisted it was a phase and begged me not to tell his gf. So my questions is do you males (or females) have phases like this? Or is having a gf a way to cover it up? Im just curious more than anything! Any replies would be awesome! Thanks!! Straight guys do not go through phases like this. Perhaps your former BF really is gay and is simply experimenting with women for the time being. Even though you think he has a GF, he probably still has relationships with other men, but he's keeping it on the "down low." If he actually did have a sexual relationship with another man, then he is definitely gay and will probably return exclusively to other men at some point. Why would you want to waste your time hoping for a normal relationship with a man who prefers the company of other men?
Author jessy1 Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Thanks for the replies! Certainally helps explain things! I feel my ex is probably gay but doesnt want to be.. If thats possible? Your right in saying I shouldnt hope for a realtionship with him! If it was anyone else I wouldnt even go there but for some reason I still hold a candle for my ex. Being with him was the happiest I had ever been until I found out he had a relationship with another male! But I guess the thought of him being gay didnt hurt as much as I knew the problem wasnt me. Now that he has a new gf it really hurts. So as you can see I got all confused! I kind of hope he is gay, which sounds SOOO stupid, as then Id know the problem wasn't with me! Anyway thanks for your replies and sorry for my mindless rambling!!
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