JuicyLatin24 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hi guys, im doing a research paper for school, just wanted to get ur opinion on when's a good time to start dating again? i got out of a 3 year relationship last month..and it's still taking me awhile to adjust to this uncertain life... sooo part of this research is on how people think around the world about timing of dating... so if u wouldn't mind, id like to know Gender Age Location Longetivity of relationships so me Female Age - 24 Location - Montreal Longetivity of relationships - been in a 3 year relationship i wanna know how the rest of the world thinks of dating! thnx
Double D Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Gender - Male Age - 31 Location - London Longetivity of relationships - 6 Months Hi! My last relationship was for 6 months and this was 2 and a half years ago. It was a tough break up to deal with. We were friends before we got together, so it felt like I lost my best friend and partner. Have only just recently started dating again. For what its worth - I think its a very individual thing when one feels ready to date again. Not sure if locality or customs have that much too do with it. More the individual involved and their background and personality. Wish you well with ur research!
BCCA Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Gender: M Age: 27 Location: California Longetivity of relationships: 5 years, 2 years, 1.5 years. To me, being ready to date again was very dependent on the circumstances surrounding the split. The two that I was the one getting dumped (5/2 year ones), it took me over a year for the 2 year, and Im 7 months out of the 5 year, and can hardly bring myself to even talk to women. The 1.5 year one, I ended, and dated almost immediately after. Litterally within a month. I guess because to me, it needed to end, and it was what I wanted to happen. I never called her again or spoke with her at all after we broke up.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Gender: F Age: 29 Location: Rural Colorado Longevity of relationships: 6-year relationship I got divorced last year. Separated in April, filed in May, finalized in August. But the relationship was LONG "over" by August, IMO. I had no more romantic feelings for him at all. I did online dating in November and got serious with a guy this January. Really, it's time to move on and date when you're ready. When you hold no more feelings for your last relationship. When you can present a healthy and whole person to the next relationship. For some this can be a couple months, for others it may take years. For my BF it took him over a year to really be ready (BAD break). For me, it obviously only took a few months. It just depends on your healing rate, I guess.
Alan430 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Gender: M Age: 34 Location: Georgia Longevity of relationships: 9.5 years. Everyone is different. But for me, i try to gage it on my feelings toward her. When i can think about her without some negitive feelings in my heart then i know i will be ready.
Author JuicyLatin24 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 Gender - Male Age - 31 Location - London Longetivity of relationships - 6 Months Hi! My last relationship was for 6 months and this was 2 and a half years ago. It was a tough break up to deal with. We were friends before we got together, so it felt like I lost my best friend and partner. Have only just recently started dating again. For what its worth - I think its a very individual thing when one feels ready to date again. Not sure if locality or customs have that much too do with it. More the individual involved and their background and personality. Wish you well with ur research! hey, sorry for ur loss.... do u think maybe the break was tougher because she used to be ur best friend....like if she was a girl u just met and then dated, do u think it would of been easier for u? Yea, an individual does plays an important part in decisons, but alot of experiences and customs, backgrounds - they all have an effect on us....researching how these experiences affects the perception of dating
Author JuicyLatin24 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 Gender: M Age: 27 Location: California Longetivity of relationships: 5 years, 2 years, 1.5 years. To me, being ready to date again was very dependent on the circumstances surrounding the split. The two that I was the one getting dumped (5/2 year ones), it took me over a year for the 2 year, and Im 7 months out of the 5 year, and can hardly bring myself to even talk to women. The 1.5 year one, I ended, and dated almost immediately after. Litterally within a month. I guess because to me, it needed to end, and it was what I wanted to happen. I never called her again or spoke with her at all after we broke up. So how the relationship ended had a greater affect to your perception of relationships rather than what those relationships meant to u? im sorry for all the pain uve felt, just know that you're not alone, and that many people go through these trials to find the one...
Author JuicyLatin24 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 Gender: F Age: 29 Location: Rural Colorado Longevity of relationships: 6-year relationship I got divorced last year. Separated in April, filed in May, finalized in August. But the relationship was LONG "over" by August, IMO. I had no more romantic feelings for him at all. I did online dating in November and got serious with a guy this January. Really, it's time to move on and date when you're ready. When you hold no more feelings for your last relationship. When you can present a healthy and whole person to the next relationship. For some this can be a couple months, for others it may take years. For my BF it took him over a year to really be ready (BAD break). For me, it obviously only took a few months. It just depends on your healing rate, I guess. how do know when u hold no more feelings for ur ex? what happens if u can never let go of all those feelings? do u try to work things out? or do u try to just live with them?
Author JuicyLatin24 Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 Gender: M Age: 34 Location: Georgia Longevity of relationships: 9.5 years. Everyone is different. But for me, i try to gage it on my feelings toward her. When i can think about her without some negitive feelings in my heart then i know i will be ready. how do u take the negative feelings away though?
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 how do know when u hold no more feelings for ur ex? what happens if u can never let go of all those feelings? do u try to work things out? or do u try to just live with them? When you can be at peace with what happened in the relationship. I was hurt/angry about what happened in our relationship while I was in it and still in love with him. When he put the final nail in the coffin of my feelings for him, I just finally gave up. It was like feeling suffocated and wanting things to change but wanting just never changed anything. When I was finally able to let go and my feelings were dead for him, it was like I was breathing fully again. Time really is the only thing that's going to heal you. And like I said - everybody is going to have their own healing rate. I don't know what you do if you can "never let go." I didn't have that problem. I got to a point where I had to choose between continuing to being hurt by him, or respecting myself and letting it go. I knew I deserved more than what he could give me. Generally there should be a reason the relationship ended (it's not working for one, the other, or both), so why would I want to go back to that hell? I'm much happier without it. The pain I went through to get over it is worth it.
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