12ape Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 What does she mean? "My friends aren't saying anything... They havnt really been there for me like yours have for you... which is good for you, you need it... but i've been left in the lerch just because i've given the impression the past 4 years that im fine and dandy and im always there for them... there not use to me being the one with the problems.. I don't want to string you along which is why sometimes i think it is best just to leave you... but it is hard when i have so many thoughts going through my head. There were things that i feel were seriously wrong in our relationship, small things that were very important.. the flame died... i couldnt talk to you anymore and i didnt feel comfortable around you when we slept together.. i just felt ugly and self concious... and that has gone now since i have the oportunity to actually look after my self and think about my self for once. I dont know what to do... but all i know is my head is still ****ed up... i dont want to hurt you even more and keep you hoping and stuff... so i dont know what you want to do... im just telling you im still really messed up in my mind... and that im sorry for everything... I just hope your friends havn't been putting **** in your head... i.e. james... i just feel stuffs been said... gut feeling no one has said anything.. but yeh its up to you what you believe or decide to think about me... again im sorry for eveything... words cant explain how horrid i feel and how sorry i am x" How can I win her back? It's been a month.
Ormolu611 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hmmm. I have been getting a lot of advice on the forum lately, now I will try to give some. I'm sorry for what you are going through. I have been there before, but you can't win someone back. It doesn't work that way. Think about it - to win someone back, you are essentialy talking about manipulating someone back. Now, there are all sorts of techniques and theories abound about getting someone back, and some of them may actually work short term. The thing is that only she can make the decision to come back. Period. It is not up to you. If you somehow manipulate her back through guilt, or jealousy, this will only lead to resentment on her part. You see? This decision has to come from her without influence from you. You can't be seen to have any influence on her decision to come back or she will not trust her decision and will not stay with you. This seems like the most challenging concept to grasp. Her email suggests that she is confused - but this is probably not uncommon when someone decides to leave a relationship. I am on the verge of leaving a relationship myself and I feel confused even though I know that it is something that I need to do. The thing is, her sharing her confusion with you will only make your time more difficult. If you are in no contact, maintain it. If you are not, start it. Good luck.
Recommended Posts