outside-in Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 my ex girlfriend and I dated for 2 yrs, after the first year I moved to CO(we are originally from MN) for an internship and she moved to St louis for school, well I am graduating and moving down to be with her in april, however back in june 08 she found out I talked to my ex from 3yrs ago and got upset, we got passed it but then in Nov 08 it happenend again and I lied to her at first and then told her the truth, we broke up but still kinda dated for a month while she was back for xmas break then in jan 09 she asked me out again, all was well I went to st louis for valentines day and when I left she said she couldn't live with out me and cried for an hour b/c she missed me already. Here's where things go down hill, 5 days later she calls and says she can't get over the past, I agreed with the break up and told her i understand, b/c I do my actions really hurt her and she didn't believe that I changed, which I have i told myself i will never do anything like that to her again and i havent. We didnt talk much for the next 6 days till she calls me crying b/c she missed me and found out I was going to the bars and didn't want me to sleep with anyone. The next night she calls, we talk, she wants to work it out and when she comes back for spring break we will talk about how to fix this, the next 5 days were her midterms so we didn't talk much then 5 days later she calls and says she is dating someone else! We meet for dinner a few nights later and she says she doesn't want to see me, but in the car afterwards she was crying b/c she wanted us to work out so bad, and we kissed and held hands and cuddled but then said i dont want to see you again. She texted me the next morning and calls when I don't respond to her text, I kept it brief, then 3 days later I wake up to find she called me at 240am. i was sleeping so i didnt answer, but i called her back the next day to make sure everything is alright. she never called me back. I really want her back but am unsure of what to do...
Truly Lost Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 She sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She is riddled with guilt. Are you ok with her having you and another person at the same time? She knows exactly what she is doing and using her crying technique to make herself feel better and sound sincere. The deal is she doesn't want a long distance relationship. Lets face it, those relationships suck. You can't have the person, you want most in the world, by your side. So what happens? Someone strays. Thats what your girl did. I'm sorry she doesn't have the courtesy to tell you this directly. Instead she is going to cry her eyes out and play the sympathy card. I would dump her.
Author outside-in Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 I just dont understand how she can go from us having a great time over valentines day/my bday, when i was in st louis to visit her, where she spent all her $$$ on me and at the end said she loved me, couldnt wait for me to move down and for us to get married, to 5 days later i want to break up, then 5 days later i want to work it out then 5 days later im dating someone else...idk everyone is telling me that this new guy is just a rebound relationship and once she is done with him she will come back and at that time it will be up to me to decide what to do(all my friends say go NC for the rest of my life with her)...
chrissreef Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 welcome to women, they change their mind a LOT. Think about them choosing an outfit to wear. A lot are very indecisive. Mine also went from one day sending me tons of love emails/text messages/having sex and saying how happy she was, to the next calling off our 2.5 yrs and leaving me. Then for 1.5 months I got a ton of mixed messages. I'm giving her her "space" now and will hope the new guy she's with doesn't work out. Man I hate guys, they're manipulative and predatory and so many could care less if a girl is in a relationship before pursueing them. "he did what? wow, I would never do that... you should come stay with me"
EmperorR Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 welcome to women, they change their mind a LOT. Think about them choosing an outfit to wear. A lot are very indecisive. Mine also went from one day sending me tons of love emails/text messages/having sex and saying how happy she was, to the next calling off our 2.5 yrs and leaving me. Then for 1.5 months I got a ton of mixed messages. I'm giving her her "space" now and will hope the new guy she's with doesn't work out. Man I hate guys, they're manipulative and predatory and so many could care less if a girl is in a relationship before pursueing them. "he did what? wow, I would never do that... you should come stay with me" Yep my ex Friday I love you more than anything I'll die if im not with you, I hate that I'm so far away on vacation visiting my grandparents..... saturday screwing some guy she just met, a week later dumping me, the next day decides changing her mind 4 days later meets a guy at school has butterflies, next day she still loves me only 5/10, next day forget about us blah blah blah, went no contact And yep thats how guys are, I remember my ex telling me "but he cares about me he bought me flowers and drove me around" i just shaked my head at this immature slut or a ex
Author outside-in Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 UPDATE: So after 4 days of NC she sends me a text asking how I am, I was at work so i didnt respond till i got off and i told her i was doing well, and going to watch lepracaun(sp?) wrestling at a bar and asked how she was, three hours later she says she is doing well and glad im doing well. This mornong she says she is sorry for texting me last night, blames it on being drunk, I dont respond and 1.5hrs later she calls and leaves me a voicemail saying "sorry for calling you last night, i dont have class till 11 so give me call before then or whenever you can, but if you cant no big deal, hope you have a good day." Any thoughts or advice on what to do, I havent called her yet
Author outside-in Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Also her birthday is on saturday, should I call her and wish her a happy birthday?
AMM003 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Heck no. Don't contact her. And don't respond to anything she has to say. If you do need to, say happy birthday now and the let that be it. Let her do what she needs to and figure it out for herself. And accept the fact that it just may never work out. This kind of "activity" is going to eat you up and you will hurt even more in the long run.
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