roomster Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Im feeling absolutely heartbroken over this guy. It's strange cos we never REALLY went out but he completely messed around my feelings and we were sleeping together etc. I thought it meant more than it obviously did to him. I dont understand it because Ive had much longer relationships where I really really loved those people to the depth of my soul. But this seems to have hit me really hard and im feeling rock bottom. I guess I thought we really had something going. Now every time i see him my heart drops. Everytime I see him with his new girl Im thinking it used to be me he did that with, it used to be me he cuddled and told all his problems to, it used to be me he would call to hang out with. Now its her. I just dont understand why Im feeling so low. I guess what im asking is why do I feel so down about this? Is it possible that I found the person who was perfect for me but I just wasnt perfect for him? I keep going over everything and thinking if only I'd done this differently or done this then. Will I be regreting this for the rest of my life? He really really messed me around and treated me like **** and I know that even if we were together he would prob have continued messing me around. But i still feel so down. I know I am ridiculous and pathetic and I am not normally like this. I just dont understand.
kymberann Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I'm so sorry! These things really hurt! Especially when you see this "ex" from time to time. You didn't say how long this relationship went on and maybe it really doesn't matter now. You did say he treated you like ****. It is to your benefit you are out and can no longer treat you this way. I think when things go wrong, things don't work out, it isn't necessarily that we are down because of the person. We are down, upset, feel lost because our expectations weren't met. We put in a lot of time, energy, expect a lot from ourselves that when it isn't returned, we are hurt, frustrated, confused that we are willing to do the work but when the other falls short or has different expectations or is just different we hurt and grieve what we were hoping to be the best. Just hang in there, go with your feelings the relationship is a loss right now, and f or what it's worth, it will make you stronger.
era Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 roomster... Your feelings will eventually dissipate....maybe there is something to learn here. If you find yourself being treated in a way you resent or that turns you into a victim, ask yourself this question : "What did I do to teach this person that his behavior was something I was willing to tolerate?"
Author roomster Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Yes we still see each other because we are in the same circle of friends. I guess Im just upset because I thought that there was more to it than there was and he never really saw it in that way. I just dont know when it will stop hurting to see him, I cant ever imagine seeing him as anything less than how I see him now, for us to be just friends. Argh its driving me crazy and i just want to be able to hang out and not go home and cry afterwards about what could have been.
Excellent Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 You feel used, thats why it hurts even more than usual. It's not the loss of him, it's the feeling of being used and cast aside like a toy. It took 2months to figure out that myself when my ex gf left me. As soon as i realized, i cut contact. People who use you like that,who exploit you emotionally, even if they know how much you love them are the worst. I have zero respect for people like that. There is no excuse.
Author roomster Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 Maytbe you are right, maybe it is because i feel used. I feel like he led me on until he found someone better. I just dont feel like i am coping with this at all. I feel like all my friends are bored of hearing about it but time doesnt seem to be helping. Ive never felt like this before, like i said even after more serious relationships. Maybe counselling would help, ive never even considered it before. But im afraid that they would just think i was ridiculous because its not that bad.
Author roomster Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 IM just mostly writing here to rant really even if noone is reading. I just feel horrible, i spent all night thinking about him and his new girl together. Thinking of all the things he is saying to her. I guess it hurts so much because I know that everything i thought we had together was a lie. I hate him so much for turning me into this stupidly insecure, depressed crying mess. WHy would him do that to me? I thought he was a really close friend and it hurts when your close friends dont live up to your expectations. It hurts when your friends seem to actively hurt you and treat you like ****. He was definitely just stringing me along until someone he really liked turned up. Hes even basically said that to my face. But it hurts to think all those little things he did and said were a complete lie. And now while I am sitting here feeling rubbish he is happy and content in his new relationship. And it hurts that he flaunts in my face. It hurts that he started with her in front of me the day after he had been with me. It hurts so much.
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