SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 So would it make me look desperate if when she called say I have been thinking about us and talk about it? If we are going on the third "date" Is it bad or make someone look desperate if they want to know where both of them stand? I wouldn't make it the 1st topic of conversation no.. Maybe work it in later in the evening after you guys have had a nice night. Say something like "I really enjoy the time we spend together and I could see this maybe working for us in the long term" And see how she reacts? To me thats adult upfront and caring.. I dunno tho like I said I'm different I like the direct approach seams allot of females don't.. Its up to you in the end ruggy like others said go with your gut!
Author ruggy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 I guess walking back to the car or something I can ask it. However, if it is negative, then it will be a long and silent ride home. I think asking her on the phone, while can be a dice roll, would give me an answer. Question is, would it make her think differently of me? Really, what is the harm in saying hey, I think we can really have something her. But I really do not know how you feel. You are very private and secret on things. Feel like letting me in on what you are thinking? Something light like that.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I guess walking back to the car or something I can ask it. However, if it is negative, then it will be a long and silent ride home. I think asking her on the phone, while can be a dice roll, would give me an answer. Question is, would it make her think differently of me? Really, what is the harm in saying hey, I think we can really have something her. But I really do not know how you feel. You are very private and secret on things. Feel like letting me in on what you are thinking? Something light like that. Sounds good to me like soul said turn the tables a little and see how ya go! and then come back and let us know all the juicy details lol..
Author ruggy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Plan too. However, thinking about it more, if it does not go the way I wanted, the ride back would not be so great. It is a good hour from where we live. I am thinking of working into the conversation if she calls later today or tomorrow. Just seems like a safer bet.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Plan too. However, thinking about it more, if it does not go the way I wanted, the ride back would not be so great. It is a good hour from where we live. I am thinking of working into the conversation if she calls later today or tomorrow. Just seems like a safer bet. Agreed that would be needless awkwardness go the phone! best of luck I hope it goes well for you..
Author ruggy Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 So she called today and we spoke for about half hour or so. Same time as usual. I touched on it a bit, as I did not want to put her direct on point. In my past relationship, I was and we all know how that ended. So she said she enjoys being with me. And she does, for the last two weeks, go out with me supposedly over her friends on Friday. I did not bring up the surname or address. I was thinking, if we do do something on Saturday, and she says lets meet instead of pick up, it would give me an opportunity to go into the secrecy of her surname and the address as well as gauging better her feelings on me. What do you all think?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Sounds good to me ruggy just don't hold off forever or you will become over attached. Your welcome from my end glad to offer my advice anytime... Things sound promising I hope they continue to progress nicely. Yea offer a pick up do you know the general area she lives in? maybe try and schedule something around there. That way its more natural that you would pick her up at home if that makes any sence... I rarely do these days before my 8 pounds of coffee lol...
era Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 What do you all think? Oh ruggy, you're hopeless ...*big sigh*
BobSacamento Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Sounds like your more worried about her last name and address than kissing her. Are you worried she's married?
Chicago_Guy Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 I think you might not be compatible with her. I had the same problem with women I met on the Internet when I did Internet dating for a few months. I think you are dating a woman whom you cannot read, and I bet you are the type of guy who likes to receive feedback from a woman before making certain moves. This woman is either not interested in a romantic relationship or is too shy to give you any positive signs. If you don't kiss her on your third date and/or she doesn't give you a clear sign that she wants you to kiss her, you need to drop her because you are wasting your time. This is precisely why I didn't like Internet dating. When I meet someone in person (whom I did not initially meet on the Internet), I usually go for women who give me some signs of interest when I first meet them, either by the way they look at me or even if they lightly touch my arm. I wouldn't even ask for a number from a woman who didn't give me some positive signs that she liked me.
Author ruggy Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Not really CG. Just I doubt myself after the last relationship ended. I do not need to get approval on everything I do. That is not it. She is just very private and I never had that before. So I guess I am hesitant a bit. Am I 100% sure on her, no. What she things about me, I have no idea. If she is not interested in me, then why does she call me daily? Just to say hi? I hamper on the name and address cause it is a trust issue. And yes Era, that is certainly possible too. I guess I can be blunt honest with her next time she calls. Hey, are you romantically interested in me. If she says yes, I would be more relaxed. If she says no, I save a few bucks on Saturday and my ego is shot down a bit more. Nothing major.
Author ruggy Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 So we spoke and here at the results. First she got a bit peeved at me asking over the telephone. Since I only see you once a week how can I ask you in person? She said we talked about this already but I did not give her a defined answer. I said I do not remember talking about it. So, I said, to be clear, yes I do find you attractive and yes I do have interest in you. Basically I said do you find me attractive? I just want to know if we are building something or not. She said I should know by her actions. She said if I call you to want to talk to you and tell you when I do not talk to you that I miss talking to you that should give you your answer. She said I do not want to talk to you on the phone about this. This is something to be talked to in person. I said calm down, nothing to go crazy over. Just a simple yes or no answer. She said she did not want to go into it. That is where we left it. Still confused.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 So we spoke and here at the results. First she got a bit peeved at me asking over the telephone. Since I only see you once a week how can I ask you in person? She said we talked about this already but I did not give her a defined answer. I said I do not remember talking about it. So, I said, to be clear, yes I do find you attractive and yes I do have interest in you. Basically I said do you find me attractive? I just want to know if we are building something or not. She said I should know by her actions. She said if I call you to want to talk to you and tell you when I do not talk to you that I miss talking to you that should give you your answer. She said I do not want to talk to you on the phone about this. This is something to be talked to in person. I said calm down, nothing to go crazy over. Just a simple yes or no answer. She said she did not want to go into it. That is where we left it. Still confused. Sounds like shes a time waister why cant she be clear and say yes I enjoy the time we spend together? And would like to see it develop into something more or no I like you as a friend easy whats with the need for the guy to mind read us 1st. Man women make dating harder then it has to be and then whine when its so "hard to get a good man" Id give it a little longer ruggy meet her in person and see how it goes then...
Author ruggy Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 She did not cancel Saturday interestingly enough. I do not see how I am supposed to know by her calling me and telling me that she misses talking to me when she doesn't. Also, she said, why would I spend time with you if I did not have an interest in you? Don't you think I would have better thinks to do? I then pressed a bit on well a relationship is based on trust. If you are so secret on certain things, how is this going to progress. She kept on trying to jump out of the convo. I don't think she knows really what she feels. Obviously, this changes things a bit now.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 If you are so secret on certain things, how is this going to progress. She kept on trying to jump out of the convo. I don't think she knows really what she feels. Obviously, this changes things a bit now. That sucks I thought for sure she would agree and let you know a little more about herself at that point but trying to avoid it now still and jump the convo all together? I just dunno.. go with your gut see how sat goes best of luck ruggy...
Author ruggy Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 Really have no clue. Hate to think it, but I am considering canceling on Saturday. She asks why, cause she could not answer a simple question. Even if she answers now, there still is going to be that awkward feeling between us. Looks like another one I screwed up. LOL.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Really have no clue. Hate to think it, but I am considering canceling on Saturday. She asks why, cause she could not answer a simple question. Even if she answers now, there still is going to be that awkward feeling between us. Looks like another one I screwed up. LOL. Not you this time if anything it would have been her insecurities think about it after all this you still don't know her name or were she even lives common cut your self some slack.. shes got serious trust issues..
yongyong Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 you are gonna lose her man if you don't stop acting desperate ('say yes or no?')
Author ruggy Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 If she cannot answer a simple question then she does not know herself. How can someone say they miss talking to you and yet not want to talk about themselves to you? Its like she's at two different extremes. I am not going to jump into something where I do not know how she feels. Yong, how do you build something with someone who has obvious trust issues? You can spend hours on end talking to me on the phone but will not tell me about your fam. or last name? Come on.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 you are gonna lose her man if you don't stop acting desperate ('say yes or no?') I don't get it why is it desperate for some one to want to kind of know what direction a possible relationship is headed toward? I guess its better to date for weeks/months on end and remain in dating limbo are we that afraid of commitment as a sociality as a hole? This chick talks to him for hours on end but wont talk about her personally its been a few weeks already if I'm right almost a month these two have been hitting it off? I guess I'm the only one who finds her behavior odd then at this point... Common I don't mean to be the kill joy but how many of us have ran into married people on dating sites? To me all the little red flags are starting to pop up I genuinely hope I'm wrong I hope he can come back here and prove so in a few days time I say meet her in person one more time ruggy maybe go for the kiss like the guys are saying and if it works then maybe she will open up to you more if not then I dunno...
Cabernet34 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Really, I think way too much thought has been put into this. She holds your hand, and calls you and has said that she misses talking to you. Have you guys had any drinks together? i say this weekend, while you are both on the couch and have had a couple of drinks, wait for you guys to make eye contact and aren't talking about anything specific. Just look at her and say "Can I kiss you?" or "I really want to kiss you, is that OK with you?" Say it with sweetness and vulnerability, don't deliver like you've been agonizing over what her answer would be. Then when you do it, do it really slowly and softly. No need to rush anything. It may sound corny but it is less awkward than "just going in", and you will get a clear reaction from her.
Author ruggy Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 I doubt she's married. I think she is too busy to see another person. Yea, we went to drink a bit, but she was still a bit tight and did not let anything out. She's never came over, then again, I never offered it. Until she can tell me what she is thinking about me or can tell me she is or isn't interested in me, I do not see the point in meeting again. I do not think it is desperate. It is direct and to the point. Desperation is waiting around hoping wishing and praying. All I am looking for is her true honest feelings towards me. If I cannot get that how could a relationship build?
Author ruggy Posted March 21, 2009 Author Posted March 21, 2009 She called me today and we talked for a bit. Surprisingly she said she really liked me. She's coming over next week for dinner and such. But, she did have to reschedule this Saturday for next week though. Said she's really busy on the extra work piled up. I believe that is true. She's got this promotion and her work has been getting more and more. I guess, we will see what happens. Doubt she would say she really liked me and I make her feel good if she was doing something (or someone) else.
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