gavinus Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Basically my ex girlfriend dumped me after 3 years together. We have been apart now for 7 weeks. She dumped me because she blamed her anger issues on me, i.e. she said I made her angry and crazy and she knew I would not have kids with her until she sorted it. So she put her issues on me and dumped me. She then told me am a rescuer which I need therapy for, she would not be proud to marry me, and did not respect me, or love me and she only stuck around because she was scared of being alone. There is more but I want to get to my point which is I feel anger at the way she treated me, actually I feel rage at the way she treated me, because the last time she saw me a few weeks ago I now realize I came across as a needy ex and I want to text her what a mistake she made by dumping me, and all her anger problems are her own not mine! I want to finally stand up for myself after 3 years of accepting her issues. advice would be nice
imagine Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 So what's the rage for... Why has it taken you three years to find this out. What is wrong with you? Did you ask if she loved you? Were you going to get married? Give us the story!
imagine Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 So what's the rage for... Why has it taken you three years to find this out. What is wrong with you? Did you ask if she loved you? Were you going to get married? Give us the story!
Author gavinus Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 normal story, anger from her to me, then crying, then treating me great, then back to anger. She only said she did not love me in the last 3 weeks. She went to therapy for a year or so, not much changed. She told me she got the angriest at me because she was closest to me. In the end I believed I was the cause of her anger. I am angry now at myself for allowing her to take her anger out on me, and for her telling me I was the cause of her anger. The truth is I said I will never marry you until you sort your anger out, she then dumped me and has blamed me for her issues. It hurts a lot. I put so much energy into the relationship, I really wanted to help her and in helping her have a future for us. I really want to text her and say your anger issues are your own, I do not accept responsibility for them, and you have made a huge mistake dumping me, advice?
imagine Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Feller, you just saved yourself from a life of hell. Learn from the experience. Sadly, you may still be in a state of limerance. Look for a normal person next time instead of an anger basket case.
bubbles5 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 She told me she got the angriest at me because she was closest to me. In the end I believed I was the cause of her anger. See dude she trying to take control on you cos she thinks she will lose u , so she is trying all her ways out.Even is u drop a glass by mistakely she will yell at u thats because she wants everything to be perfect in you.. Tell her that the way she is talking n behaving is bad bad, even if u get angry then issues wont solve it will keep dragging.. And in anger ppl tend to get bitter to make sure that ur mate gets hurt n realizes , I think u should give a shot n try n talk to her WHEN SHE IS QUIET N LISTENING,, EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU CANT TAKE HER RUDE BEHAVIOUR,, After all its been 3 yrs n then it may b minor thing thats creatin out big issues,,, AND if she is serious abt what she has said , then better STOP getting angry to urself n MOVE ON... SHE WILL REALIZE WHAT SHE HAS LOST.. THE BETTER WAY TO TELL YOUR FEELINGS N THOUGHTS IS WRITE A LETTER DOWN , FIRST TRY TO SORT IF SHE STILL NOT UNDERSTANDING THEN FORGET IT ....
DJMarky Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 My ex is possibly one of the biggest bitches in history. I am not kidding. A week or so after I broke up with her, I called her angry as all hell because she cheated on me. There is A LOT more but I wrote about it in another thread somewhere in the coping section. Anyways this did nothing except get her to realise how much she still affected me. So, I listened to the people on this forum and went NC. Ignored her phone calls, til she called me from a private number, asked me all these questions such as 'did I miss her?', 'was I heartbroken?', all these selfish questions. I just answered with 'no' and told her I didn't want to talk to her. A few weeks later I went traveling for a month overseas. While traveling she emails me with a picture of her in lingerie and saying she misses me, the other guy means nothing to her and she wants to talk about 'us' when I get back. I get back home and find out she told someone in my social group that we were never going out. Yep, I got angry, but didn't let her know about it. Then she curses me saying her friends want to bash me, she likes ****ing the other guy, none of her friends like me etc etc. She wanted a reaction but still I am doing NC. Probably pissing her off more. Don't give her any gratification. It isn't necessary to get angry, it won't solve anything, just make you look like you haven't moved on in life. Let her mind wonder, maybe you have found someone else??
Author gavinus Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Thankyou for all your comments. I think the best thing to do is not contact her. A part of me that stills wants to be with her, thought if I text her sounding self confident, assertive etc (the opposite of how I was in the end) she may take me back. After reading your posts if I send her a text about how she hurt me etc that is still telling her I am thinking about her. That is still feeding her. It is showing I am still thinking about her. I do not want to feed her any more. I am just upset at myself that I lost my self respect, which I am slowly getting back. 7 weeks brokeup, 2 weeks NC, I miss her but will still stay NC. Thanks for the great support!!!!
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