bsmith Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hello to everyone!! I'm new to this site!! Thanks for reading and please give me any advice you think would be helpful to me....I'm really confused:confused:.....Here's my story and my problems...thanks for reading=) In September of 2006, I lost one of my best friend in a car accident...the day of the funeral I literally lost it..and had to walk outside of the church...where I slid down the outside of the church crying...in disbelief....about that time I felt these big arms come over me and just "hold me" and a warm voice saying "Everything is going to be okay."..That's the day I met my Ex. We were together from that next month on for two and a half years. He was my first everything.....and we honestly did LOVE each other..you could see it in our eyes...that was absolutely the greatest time of my entire life. =) :pHe made me so happy and he was always so proud to be with me......even after the newness wore off of "us." Then in the fall of 2007, he supposdly cheated on me with another girl...they was out alone until at 4am....because he "had to take her home." So once word got around to me...it hit me HARD...I had nine seizures and ended up the most horrible thing in my life, ever. At that point, we were engaged....then he told me since everything was so blown out of proportion, we should take some time apart to clear our heads....then I found out he had been going to that same girls house....just hours after we had broken up... Just before Christmas, the same year we got back together because we both called each other saying how we could not stand to see one another with someone else....things could not have been better...until he began mentioning another girl in Spring 08..constantly she was brought up...she was just a friend....and then she kept calling him more and more and more......more than his own fiancee'!!...So I told myself...I am not going to get screwed this time around and that same night....I went out and cheated on my fiancee', with my now husband...then I told him about it and I left him for my now husband. Three months into my new relationship things really SUCKED....he just was NOT my ex....so I admited to him that I wanted my ex- fiancee' back and he seemed okay with it...until the night he went by my ex's house with a loaded high powered rifle and told me that if I didn't come back to him and cut all ties with my fiancee' and marry him...that he was going to kill my fiancee'!! I was absolutely devastated...I was so in love with my fiancee...even throughout all the things life had drug us thru...it just made us stronger...but this...this was beyond belief. I was horrified for my fiancee's safety so I protected the one thing in life that I honestly loved with all my heart and soul and as bad as it completely crushed me inside...I left him for that pyscho. Well unfourtunately that pyscho...is now my HUSBAND! =( I done it for my ex...I was scared to death....and afraid to tell anyone about it, because it would have been my word against his. Now, I am 7 months pregnant with my husband's child, a little girl who I would do anything for. My husband has beat on me, shoved me down stairs, spit in my face, held me down...since the day we found out I was pregnant. I cheated on him with my ex...I always felt so safe with him and in his arms i felt like no-one could touch me....I had no-one else to turn to. My ex says he still loves me more than anything and that he is so sorry about wanting to be with that other female...right before we ended. Everytime I see him or hear his name...my emotions overflow me...I just want to be safe in his arms again...He also said that me having my husband's child would be no obstacle for us to get back together, should I divorce my husband...because she is a part of me. Please tell me what I should do...Stay and try to work things out with my....husband, or Divorce and take my little girl and my heart with me and give my ex another try...but nothing serious again...like engagement to my ex. Sorry if it was too long!! =) But it's a long story LOL THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE!!!!! Have a wonderful day!!
imagine Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I can guess that you would have continual hassles with Ex. I had a friend like this who was popular with the ladies. Once married he made it tough for his wife. To endure she became stoic. Did you engage your husband to make ex jealous? You sound as though you are married to an abuser. Get out. Leave ex alone too.
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Why would you go back to an ex who treated you like crap??? Y'all women be the most dumbest human beings on the face of the earth! you had seizures and medical ailments and he still cheated on you, he didnt care about your well being then and he damn sure doesnt now! stop living the pipe dream! You can make your marriage better but if you dont love your husband i would consider getting a divorce and telling him the truth and do go for alimony because you dont deserve it! You need to love yourself!!!
gracielou Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I agree. You need to get out of the abusive marriage asap. For you and for your child's safety that should be your first priority.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Please tell me what I should do...Stay and try to work things out with my....husband, or Divorce and take my little girl and my heart with me and give my ex another try...but nothing serious again...like engagement to my ex. Caught between an abusive prick and a chronic cheater... personally I think you would be stupid to go back to either, but you seem dead set. Your husband sounds dangerous! Divorce him, but you will need to disappear for a while. Creepos like that kill women when they get dumped. If he hits you again, get the police involved... press charges! They won't protect you if you protect him.
Justanotherschmuck Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Maybe a stint on Jerry Springer may help. Some people aren't happy unless there is drama in their lives ever single second of every single day. I feel bad for your child.
Lucky_One Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 You MARRIED a guy because you really truly believed he would kill your XBF. But you are pregnant and are SCREWING the same guy that you believed your H would kill. Let me give you a little bit of advice. A man will kill the cheating wife and her lover a whole lot faster than he would kill a XBF. If you really are afraid for your XBF's life, then quit having sex with him. To continue an affair with him simply makes you look selfish and silly; what happened to all of that fear? But most importantly if you care at all for the baby you say you love, then GET OUT OF THE AFFAIR AND GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE. Sheesh. You even had to ASK what to do?
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