crazyloop Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 this girl and i go to school together. weve been talking since november and things got real good between us. so i start to flirt with her and she flirts back. i ask her out and she says she would but she cant because she never has time for a bf. so then we leave it at that but yet we still flirt and stuff. then last month a guy kept asking her out and she kept saying no. then one of her friends said yes for her. so now shes with this guy that she didnt wanna go out with but yet shes still with. they just made 1 month. everytime i ask her something about the relationship she lies about it. and she keeps letting me flirt with her because she says she really wants to be with me but the reason she dont end it with him is because hes a nice guy and she dosent wanna hurt him. like seriously wtf? so everytime i ask her why does she keep leading me on and she keeps saying the same thing "i dont know what i want." and its getting confusing. cuz now this guy she dosent wanna be with, if she dont see him shes sad, if he says something mean she gets hurt and shes all lovey dovey with him in school. and her reason is that she has to make it look like she wants to be with him when in reality she dosent. so shes waiting for a chance for him to act like a jerk and break it off. now heres what gets me upset. she keeps playing with my emotions, i really like her, and i never get a straight foward answer. what should i do? im so lost and im hurt like hell. im only 17 man. and it sucks that at this age i feel like this. and it sucks cuz i see her everyday in school. and whats really upsetting is that she never gets outta my head and it makes me depressed all day and when i hear about him i get so enraged because i fell like its messed up shes with him after she told me she cant have a man. so can someone just please tell me how to get her off my mind and what this whole situation means... ive tried breaking it down and it just makes me worse. i just want honest answers. i mean this one girl is screwing up my whole life. like im doing bad in school, me and all my close friends are distant cuz i never wanna hang me and my parents dont communicate. i mean can someone help me out here please. thank you
love_fool Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 To tell you the truth.. I've been in the exact same situation. Only thing is, I was the girl, and my ex was you. Long story short, I went out with another guy for 2 months, only to realize I really liked my future ex. I dumpe the other guy, and ran back to my future ex. I couldn't believe he didn't move on and was still willing to take me after what I did to him. We became literally inseperable for the next (almost) 2 years, he was my first love. This may not happen in your situation, but the reason why I was confused, was that my future ex never officially asked me to be exclusive, we just flirted a lot. I needed to know if he saw me as a potential girlfriend, and only after I broke up with the other guy did he ask me out. Anyway, tell her exactly how you feel if you have to, because you have nothing to lose really. You never know what could happen, or what she's actually feeling.
AMM003 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 First thing man, please don't say SHE is screwing up your life. That's not cool. She is as young as you are. She may not have the experience yet. Put yourself in her shoes. She is probably telling you the truth when she says she doesn't know what she wants. putting alot of pressure is not going help her. might even drive her away from both of you guys. give her lots of space. tell her that youre gonna give her space and tell her you're there if she needs an ear. Stand tall and dont slump when you tell her. She wont want to go to someone "weak". and stick to it if you tell her. Be honorable buddy. Be patient, if she likes you that much, she'll come to you. Take this time away and study if your grades are slipping.
somedude81 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 To tell you the truth.. I've been in the exact same situation. Only thing is, I was the girl, and my ex was you. Long story short, I went out with another guy for 2 months, only to realize I really liked my future ex. I dumpe the other guy, and ran back to my future ex. I couldn't believe he didn't move on and was still willing to take me after what I did to him. We became literally inseperable for the next (almost) 2 years, he was my first love. This may not happen in your situation, but the reason why I was confused, was that my future ex never officially asked me to be exclusive, we just flirted a lot. I needed to know if he saw me as a potential girlfriend, and only after I broke up with the other guy did he ask me out. Anyway, tell her exactly how you feel if you have to, because you have nothing to lose really. You never know what could happen, or what she's actually feeling. That's a sweet story, except that you call the guy your future ex. I would love it if something like that could happen to me. Too bad I wasn't patient and blew every single chance of that ever happening.
janjan Posted March 21, 2009 Posted March 21, 2009 this girl and i go to school together. weve been talking since november and things got real good between us. so i start to flirt with her and she flirts back. i ask her out and she says she would but she cant because she never has time for a bf. so then we leave it at that but yet we still flirt and stuff. then last month a guy kept asking her out and she kept saying no. then one of her friends said yes for her. so now shes with this guy that she didnt wanna go out with but yet shes still with. they just made 1 month. everytime i ask her something about the relationship she lies about it. and she keeps letting me flirt with her because she says she really wants to be with me but the reason she dont end it with him is because hes a nice guy and she dosent wanna hurt him. like seriously wtf? so everytime i ask her why does she keep leading me on and she keeps saying the same thing "i dont know what i want." and its getting confusing. cuz now this guy she dosent wanna be with, if she dont see him shes sad, if he says something mean she gets hurt and shes all lovey dovey with him in school. and her reason is that she has to make it look like she wants to be with him when in reality she dosent. so shes waiting for a chance for him to act like a jerk and break it off. now heres what gets me upset. she keeps playing with my emotions, i really like her, and i never get a straight foward answer. what should i do? im so lost and im hurt like hell. im only 17 man. and it sucks that at this age i feel like this. and it sucks cuz i see her everyday in school. and whats really upsetting is that she never gets outta my head and it makes me depressed all day and when i hear about him i get so enraged because i fell like its messed up shes with him after she told me she cant have a man. so can someone just please tell me how to get her off my mind and what this whole situation means... ive tried breaking it down and it just makes me worse. i just want honest answers. i mean this one girl is screwing up my whole life. like im doing bad in school, me and all my close friends are distant cuz i never wanna hang me and my parents dont communicate. i mean can someone help me out here please. thank you whoa dude! tame your emotions now! this girl is an attention seeker, she needs attention and validation. the guise is being 'confused'. some girls need to feel the emotions associated with getting attention more than others, but don't really have a proper sense of empathy or morals that stops them from ****ing people over in the process. but you know what, despite that, they still know right from wrong. exit this situation. you can't ups and control your emotions, but you can control the things that INFLUENCE THEM. Cut off all reminders of her, swallow your own need for attention and avoid talking to her as much as possible (when you see her around, try to leave it to a simple hi and go your way), go meet other (nicer) girls to spend time talking to (sooner or later you will meet one who will begin to occupy your mind in a healthy way, as opposed to this one), and spend more time behind studying or learning about things that interest you.
Author crazyloop Posted April 5, 2009 Author Posted April 5, 2009 now the funny thing is that me and her spen more time than she does with him. shes always with me somewhere. usually in my house. we hang out w.e. so now recently i started to ask her"what do you feel about me" so she said "well you go first" so i spilled my freaking soul out to this girl and tell her what i feel and everything thats been bothering me. so i finish and i look at her and all she keeps repeating is "im sorry." so then ok i told u now u tell me. and all she simply said was "i have a crush on you and it feels right to say i love you." is it just me or is something completley wrong with that phrase? like w.e i got happy for a few days and everything was fine. but then reallity hit me. she has a man they gonna have 2 months and shes here still saying she wants to be with me. i asked her why she hasent broken up with him if she dont wanna be with him and she said"because im bad with breakups." and what kills me the most is that i went on his myspace page (i know him kinda sorta) and his display picture is them kissing. and then they both have a top 1 which is just hers on his and his on hers. and its like she keeps showing that she likes him and wants to be with him and its like wth do u keep telling me u like me when ure showing that ure wanting to be with this guy. like ok i understand like my friend said"dude, she probably dose like him alot, does want to be with him, and just dosent want to hurt your feelings because she knows you like her so much." ok! but you dont equal my reaction with the same feelings when you dont really feel them. so ure just lying to make me happy and keep me unaware of reallity. idk what to do man. i really want her to tell me what shes truly feeling. shes been telling me all ive wanted to hear but thats what i feel. like shes just telling me what i wanna hear. and i dont want that. well i do ofcourse but ya know what i mean. i really need some help. all i do is think of her all day and all i can do is just hope that one day she just tells me something that will fix my head. but untill then im still pulling my hairs and questioning everything in life.
janjan Posted April 11, 2009 Posted April 11, 2009 okay let's repeat this girl is an attention seeker, she needs attention and validation. although this is a normal need for girls, some girls need it more than others and those are girls you stay away from. this girl is one of them. she doesn't like you in the sense that she wants to have a healthy mutual loving relationship with you, she likes the feeling of being wanted and desired that you give her. do you understand? it's all about her, there is no real empathy for *your* feelings here. i myself have dealt with such a girl, so i know how they can get to you. so take it from me and from the rest of the guys here who have dealt with girls like this, you just need to get away from this. if this girl is with someone yet need so much attention that she seeks it elsewhere (you), what do you think will happen if you end up with her? that's right, when the going gets tough, she will seek out attention from some other guy. again, you cannot simply change your emotions, but step up and take control of the things that influence them. you are in an unhealthy situation. here are my suggestions: 1. Sever all contact and reminders as much as possible. 2. Satisfy your own need for attention by meeting and talking to OTHER GIRLS, and you will soon meet some nice genuine girls who you will feel good talking to instead of upset and confused. 3. Take up a hobby and/or spend more time behind your schoolwork. 4. Socialize and go out more. When the chance arises, go for a change of scenery. eg Spend a weekend in another town, go on a road trip with some friends, etc. You are being used by an attention seeker. After you spend some time on No Contact, it will dawn on you how absurd it was that she is there doing like she likes you, but still there with someone. You need to sever contact and stick with it for these things to click, because right now you're in the trap of giving her the benefit of the doubt, of making excuses for her. Good Luck.
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