Elilmomma Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I know that I've got other post and maybe some people are a little tired of me but, I have no one else to talk to. I don't know how to talk to my hubby he doesn't listen to me at all. I want to tell him how I'm feeling and how tired I am of being disrespected by his little brother. How do I tell him that I am thinking about leaving and possibly filing for a divorce if things don't change? Hubby likes ot yell and put me down alot, so what do I do here or do I tell him at all?
Tony T Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 It's a tough world out there. If your husband won't listen to you then write your feelings out in a letter and go from there. From your description it's doubtful he will change...so once you tell him how you feel be prepared to leave and move on with your life. You have to be tough here and you can't put up with his BS for the rest of your life. You only live once and by what you have written it sounds like you would be much better off alone that with this guy.
seibert253 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Your hubby sounds immature. Probably will take a smack upside the head to get him to listen. A letter to him detailing how you feel, and what you expect from both of you to fix what's wrong. Tell him if he does want to work on fixing your marriage, then you're walking. Be prepared to walk if he call's your bluff. Before you give him the letter, have a place to stay and some back up funds available. Best of Luck. PS: NO ONE should have to put up with verbal or physical abuse.
angie2443 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I kind of remember some of your other posts, but haven't had time to re-read them. Why are you staying with your husband? You seem to have many reasons for leaving.
Trialbyfire Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I know that I've got other post and maybe some people are a little tired of me but, I have no one else to talk to. I don't know how to talk to my hubby he doesn't listen to me at all. I want to tell him how I'm feeling and how tired I am of being disrespected by his little brother. How do I tell him that I am thinking about leaving and possibly filing for a divorce if things don't change? Hubby likes ot yell and put me down alot, so what do I do here or do I tell him at all? Why not just tell him how you feel?Also, if his little brother doesn't give you respect, why aren't you holding the little brother responsible for his behaviour?Overall, people are going to treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If your husband doesn't listen, give him consequences for his actions. Don't just throw threats out and not do them. Explain your needs to him and if he won't meet them, don't waffle, just leave. No one deserves to be yelled, screamed at or constantly put down. That's emotional abuse.
Author Elilmomma Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Hubby does not know how to just "talk" without yelling and calling me names and puting me down. I don't know how to leave I have nowhere to go. Hubby is getting worse everyday, now he's yelling at the kids daily. He has picked up a bad habbit of smoking weed now on top of his drinking. When he has no weed he's very grumpy. I can't save him from himself. I want out but like I said idk how or where to go? He wont just leave cause he pays the bills
Trialbyfire Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Set up a plan. The sooner you get out, the better, especially for the kids. If you have family you can rely on, get out NOW. If you don't, is there any way you can get a job so you become financially independent?
Author Elilmomma Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 I have been looking for work putting in applications everywhere, my family don't have enough room for me and my 2 girls. I really apreciate your advice ty very much. I have to get some legal advice idk if I can get free legal advice to help me get out and take my girls or to make him leave
Island Girl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 You have abused women resources there or near you. There are people that will help you set up a way that you can leave and yes your children can come too. Look it up on the internet for your state or county. it doesn't matter that he pays all of the bills -- you can consult with an attorney and get all of the pieces in place to file a TPO (Temporary Protection Order) and have him served with divorce at the same time. It is customary that he be allowed back ONCE to collect some belongings. He will have to contact the sheriff's department or the police to arrange it because they have to escort him there and stay while he gets his things. He will only have about 15 minutes. Your attorney should also be able to get emergency assistance for the paying of the bills until you work out child support and alimony. There are ways. This is going to sound harsh but I mean it with the best of intentions: Stop being a victim and take the steps necessary to protect yourself and your children from this continued abuse.
Author Elilmomma Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 Thank you I found something online for my area .... ty for your help..
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