You'reasian Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Ok guys and gals. I've got a situation for you. I've got a dating conundrum that I need assistance with. I've gone out on dates 2-3 times a month at most - not a lot, but whenever I can find the time. Towards the end of last year, I started asking out women whom I thought were intelligent, nice and decent looking. I took my time, talked to them frequently, moved slowly on the premise I wanted to really get to know them and do the right thing. Most of the time, they just weren't responsive, got bored, got friend zoned etc. This year, I've started asking out women whom were uber attractive and if I should say, whom were just out of my league. The big suprise? They seem to really enjoy and appreciate me and are very responsive! In addition to being just the regular gentleman I was, I find myself being in the moment and coming up with all kinds of witty humor on the spot and really hitting it off. Have I been aiming too low? I feel like I have to up my standards now - as the only women that seem to respond to me are the ones that are atleast A- in appearance and personality. Now that I'm in a different league, does anyone have any advice about staying in this league?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Obviously you just need to be yourself, because the ladies are digging it! Don't think about it too much. Part of the reason you're doing well is because you have no expectations for yourself and no fear of failure. That allowed you to just be you. So no analyzing. And no more talk about "leagues".
sumdude Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 League shmeague... So much of chemistry is mental and intellectual. I have met women who may rate 10 on the looks scale that in conversation just don't turn me on.. and others that may seem less attractive but once you start talking then BAM! Go with the ones who you have fun interacting with and try to stop analyzing so much. IOW keep doing what you're doing... an' don' worry 'bout it.
Isolde Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 What sumdude said. I personally think it's dangerous to pick a "type" to exclusively date because you might end up overlooking people that could be some of the most fulfilling relationships. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong. On the contrary, you're clearly doing something right: I'm just saying don't place yourself in a league, or typecast yourself.
runner Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 forget that league mentality, cos then you'll start thinking she's too good for you and then you'll start acting like it. she'll be gone before you say, "do'h !" if it works, keep it going [on the flip side, if you keep thinking he/she is beneath you, you'll start doing the whole pompous rejection crap ]
yongyong Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 First of all this 'league' thing is very relative term depending on looks, body shape, money, education etc. so there is no way people can't give you an exact answer. But I can guess several things -maybe you thought she was too much for you but that was just your opinion -maybe you thought she was too much for you and decided she won't like you anyway so you didn't give a fxxk (I had good result by not trying to analyze it) -maybe she is very pretty, thus, gets approached very rarely. so she appreciated your confidence Whatever the heck is, don't limit yourself. You don't have to drive a Ferrari (top model woman) to be considered successful. However, why do you limit yourself to VW jetta when you can drive MB E class if you work on yourself more?
FlowersForMedusa Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 ...no offense, but if it's like that, then WHY is there even a problem? :bunny:
era Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 the only women that seem to respond to me are the ones that are atleast A- in appearance and personality. Now that I'm in a different league Well good for you...*yawn*
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