audiojunky Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 It has been about 5 years since my last serious relationship. Since then I've had a couple of small relationships (nothing lasting more than a month or two..) and a ton of dates from the online world and friends. My big problem is this: It seems that with even people who might be a good match for me that I just am not feeling the chemistry/fire that it would take for me to become really invested in pursuing anyone seriously. It feels really discouraging, and a big part of me just feels like giving up... and I am continuously a little depressed as each weekend rolls by and I am the constant 3rd-wheeler. On a positive note I think that I have been pretty true to not wasting anyone's time. I really don't believe in pursuing someone I don't really feel that chemistry with. One example: I went on a date last night to meet someone from match.com. We both had some big similar interests, she was good looking.. the conversation was good... but shouldn't I be feeling excited about calling her and setting up a 2nd date? There just seems to be a spark within me that just is not igniting........ Any recommendations?
Beautiful Inside Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 no your pretty much right like you said youd feel really excited and anxious to call or hear form her or setting up date #2 your right... i think you just feel it when you meet someone yea first is the lust attraction but then once your talkin to them you just know like wow this girl is amazing or guy wutever....im glad your not wasting peoples time though i like that about you
saddy Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Well, maybe you're just going to your dates with too much expectation. Don't go on a date thinking that you will find your next long-term relationship: it's putting too much pressure and there's a high risk that you'll expect too much and just end up being disappointed. Just go there thinking that you will meet a new friend, enjoy your time, the conversation and your drinks. After that, just ask yourself if you would like to see her again, not because she would be a good wife but just because you had fun with her, as a friend. Then, if after a few dates you still don't feel any chemistry, just move on to the next one.
redant Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I think saddy gave great advice. Don't give up. Keep meeting people and make some friends along the way. I know how you feel. It's tough and sometimes disappointing but eventually someone will catch your interest! Good luck!
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