PoshPrincess Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hi guys, it has been a long time since I've posted on here and everything is good for me now. I have finally set a date for my wedding. I just wanted to share something with you all. When I was going through my MM crisis and was a regular poster on here I was told so many times that one day MM would come crawling back. There were so many stories to back that theory up but I always thought 'never, he is totally over me' and I really did think he was going to make a proper go of things with his family. We were in touch a couple of months ago and had an amicable chat. I even found out that he was (possibly) seeing and definitely chasing after yet another woman (this time this one was married but allegedly had more sense than to get involved with him although how true that part is I don't know!) That really hit home to me that I meant absolutely nothing to him and that was the one thing that finally made me move on emotionally. After him insisting that he was only staying to keep his family together, still loved me and would never cheat again that just belittled everything I stupidly believed we had together. Anyway, fast forward a few months, he hears through a mutual friend that I have finally set a date (don't think he really thought I would go through with it - yes, his ego is that big!) and gives our mutual friend a big sob story of how he had been a coward over not leaving his W for me, how he has so many regrets and - wait for it - could I give him a call! I must admit I did feel smug satisfaction at hearing all this and I was tempted to speak to him, but after sleeping on it I totally know that there is absolutely nothing to gain by doing so. Even if I did want to leave my man for him, which I don't, exMM still won't have grown a pair and it's pretty likely he never will. He is STILL a coward and I know I could never trust him. Don't get me wrong, I think I will always have feelings for him deep down but that's where they are going to stay. Of course, he is now saying (despite maintaining last time we spoke that everything's hunky dory in his life!) that his marriage is a mess and now his kids are adults and more or less off his hands that has only highlighted the fact. Oh well, not my problem! Best of luck to all you guys who ARE still involved with your MM. You will know from reading this forum that there are some who truly do love their OW and do end up leaving so will keep my fingers xd for you all. Sadly mine wasn't one of them but this has a happy ending as I now have a wonderful man who gives me everything that exMM never could! x
bentnotbroken Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Congrats on moving into your blessings. It always brings a smile to my face when I read that someone has found their blessings and are glad to be rid of the mess of the past.
Soaked Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 PoshPrincess, it's nice to see someone here is moving froward and found happiness. it's scarily to see your post about what your xMM said to get back to you.. I wish I was strong like you didn't believe him! and why do they always come back to say the same thing? Do they have some kind of hand book to teach them what to say?? But anyway, I hope I can be lucky enough to find someone who really love me like you do.
White Flower Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Hi Posh, Good to hear your story. I'm so glad you can step back and see the bigger picture now. It's so hard to see it when your in the middle of the canvas surrounded by what you think is MM's love. Best of luck.
Reggie Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! The classic Gomer Pyle line. Shazzam!:bunny: Reminds me of the old joke : What's behind the barracks? (Gomer's Pile).
OpenBook Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 and why do they always come back to say the same thing? Do they have some kind of hand book to teach them what to say?? I truly believe it's all about their egos. They love to be in control... and whenever a woman gets the NERVE to move on to a happy life without him, he can't stand it. What - he's no longer the center of her universe??? Posh, I'm excited (and relieved!) for you, and I'm glad you came back to share your story. Onward and upward!! :bunny:
Soaked Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Thanks OpenBook! I think you are absolutely right. In my case, I was getting better and was in a happier place but on his side, things weren't going what he want and he came back to just boost up his ego i guess. YUP! it's nice and encourage to see someone successfully moving froward and break away from this nonsense.
2sure Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Don't get me wrong, I think I will always have feelings for him deep down but that's where they are going to stay. ..... as I now have a wonderful man who gives me everything that exMM never could! This is fantastic! Good for you. You sound healthy and happy and ready to begin a new chapter of the life YOU are making. So many people they cannot leave an affair or have trouble recovering from one because they say...but I love OM/OW, I miss OM/OW. Your post is a perfect example of yes, feelings dont have to go away and may not - but you need not be immobilized or held hostage by them!
Author PoshPrincess Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Thanks guys for all your support and good wishes and for those of you who want to move on but are yet to find that inner strength, it WILL happen! At one stage I couldn't see a way out and hated the fact that exMM had moved on when I was left struggling. Now I see that he was kidding himself and I am the one who has had the last laugh. Happy days! x
NoIDidn't Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Now I see that he was kidding himself and I am the one who has had the last laugh. Happy days! x It happens that way sometimes. It happens in the reverse as well, with the OP in shambles and the MP recovering their marriage. Not meaning to rain on your story, at all. Great to see you back (even if its just for the update) and CONGRATULATIONS. I'm sure you will be a beautiful Bride.
angie2443 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Congrats! It's so nice to hear happy endings on these boards.
Bluebird In My Heart Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I love this story! CONGRATS! I read somewhere that They Always Come Back (mwahahahaha!). Yep. Anywhere from 6 months later to 2 years they could still pop up! Kinda like cockroaches or The Thing That Wouldn't Leave(mwahahahaha!)! Okay...enough mwahahahaha's They never forget. Amazing the ego and selfishness - he expected life to just stop for you? Puhleeze. You picked yourself up and are doing just fine thank you! Must've been quite a hit to the poor XMM's wittle ego, right? Meh. Enough about him. Congrats once more.
OWoman Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 :love: another happy ending!! Congrats Posh - hope it all goes well!
GreenEyedLady Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Congrats Posh! I'm so glad that you're in better place and moving forward with your life! GEL
Author PoshPrincess Posted March 25, 2009 Author Posted March 25, 2009 It happens that way sometimes. It happens in the reverse as well, with the OP in shambles and the MP recovering their marriage. Well, that's certainly how it was to begin with that's for sure. I was an absolute mess and everything seemed to be going swimmingly for MM, or so it appeared. Apparently MM and his W ARE getting on better than they did, or so he tells me, but of course no one really knows what goes on inside another person's marriage and, in all honesty, the stories he told me before were quite likely to be BS anyway! Whatever the situation, he's not my concern anymore! Thank God.
bentnotbroken Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Well, that's certainly how it was to begin with that's for sure. I was an absolute mess and everything seemed to be going swimmingly for MM, or so it appeared. Apparently MM and his W ARE getting on better than they did, or so he tells me, but of course no one really knows what goes on inside another person's marriage and, in all honesty, the stories he told me before were quite likely to be BS anyway! Whatever the situation, he's not my concern anymore! Thank God. Thank God is right:D.
Meaplus3 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Whatever the situation, he's not my concern anymore! Thank God. Exactly. Let the wife deal with him. Mea:)
annabelle30 Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 congratulations. i am so happy to hear you are doing well now.
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