hotdancer2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Hi, I was asked out by a guy who is my acquaintance's ex. I wouldn't call her a friend; we met a few times and she asked me to hang out but I never got around to responding. We are part of a common group. I like the guy and said yes to going out with him, but want to clear it with the acquaintance somehow. FYI they were together for 4 months and broke up 5 months ago. The guy said that his ex would be cool with us dating, but I would feel better if I heard it from her. Also, my friend, who is also part of the group, is playing matchmaker and set us up. She is the intermediary and is an expert at being tactful. I am not. Should I contact his ex and get her permission? Is that unnecessary? Should I have my matchmaker friend do the work? Also, we want to go to a show on a date. His ex invited me to the show first and I told her maybe and then never wrote back. If I go with him, she will be there, either alone or with other friends. Should we not go to the show and find something else to do?
LovieDove24 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Do you ever hang out with this girl? Will you ever be seen together in front of her? If you're truly not really friends with her, I'd say its on your guy to responsibly tell her if its an issue. Because he has stronger ties with her than you do.
Author hotdancer2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 We are part of a common group. If we go to the show then she will see us together. Also if we go to group events she will see us.
LovieDove24 Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 We are part of a common group. If we go to the show then she will see us together. Also if we go to group events she will see us. Well are you guys friendly with one another when you see each other out? If you are, and you guys talk on occasion I would avoid going out as a couple until you are sure things are really serious. If things continue to develop and you have strong feelings for him, consult this "friend" before going any further.
MN randomguy Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Oooh, Gosh this is aweful!!! Hotdancer, is this "Mr. Right" from this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t175077/ Please don't get involved with this guy. You are mean. You'll be so disappointed with him and you're going to make him think that all women are flighty and shallow. You're going to expect that he fix all of the damage from all of your past relationships. He's going to have to work harder, take more abuse in return for less from you. In a nutshell, he's me. Once all of this blows up one of you are going to have to leave the group. Most likely him because girls are socially manipulative and they all stick together.
SeekingOpinions Posted March 27, 2009 Posted March 27, 2009 Just call his ex and say "Hi, ________ just asked me out." And nothing else. Then see what she says. If she has an issue with you dateing him you will probably find out right then, and will not have said anything you will regret. If she gets mad about it or asks you not to date him, it is probably best to respect her wishes unless you want to make an enemy. If she says "So what?" or "Go ahead." Then she has given up the right to complain later. Also, you probably shouldn't go on a first date where his ex is going to be. Even if she is okay with you dating him, it is not a good idea to rub it in her face. Plus, if you like this guy, you don't want her to be a distraction during your first date.
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