Reggie Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 There me dozens of threads on here that start with some version of: Re-found my true love after being married 20 years. There should be a whole forum just for that. Normal, kind, intelligent people - basically happily married but not 100% fulfilled in middle age - suddenly re-connect with their soul mates totally accidentally on purpose. I am one of the most empathetic people on here, I know this. And this scenario is SO ridiculous - there simply is no advice. This is right up there with losing your partner to a virtual reality game. You woke up!! Welcome back . Me, too, In fact, I think most here would agree that I am the MOST empathetic. Got ya by just a nose, 2, in the latest empathetic poll.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Hi lyad I am in the same boat as you right now! Right down to the 30 years ago,cept I,m married female. Married to a drunk for 4 years but been with him 15 years(his drinking progressed as we were married),so left me lonley,and pist,and all that. well a few months ago I found my Ex,s sister(I was with Ex for 4 years almost)and that was 30 years ago. This is weird same thing as you. I did not hide or sneak,I was very honest with now hubby,and the Ex,and still I messed up my head over this,cuz I dont want hubby if he continues to be drunk daily,and Ex is in a bad marraige,and is waiting for me to say the words COME ON DOWN(he lives up north from me). So now I'm just taking a day at a time,and letting things roll. Hubbys still drinking but not that much,but I know he is soon to bust. So I am out to make me happy, sorry someone will get hurt,but I;m tired of drunks. Make yourself happy,but really be honest with wife,talk to her about this,you havent done anything wrong IMO. I talk to my hubby about this daily,cuz it's on my mind now that EX and I talk often. We are not rushing things either(Ex,and I). So make a good decion for yourself,Well if you have kids together,that to me is a whole new issue,then your family comes first. Wow jade02 blantantly cheating while your husband is sick with alcohol addiction. I wonder if the idea of his wife blantantly flirting and planning on consumating her emotional affair with her ex is making him drink more??? Just a thought I could be wrong. And you dont know how your ex's marriage is, it's abusive? really is that what he told you? Because that's how it begins!
Dexter Morgan Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 Now, after 30+ years of not having had any kind of contact with her, I have found her again. I have been married for 19 years now, soon to be 20. why the hell were you looking for her in the first place? You are married. The contact we have re-established (at a distance, she is in Puerto Rico and I am in Atlanta, GA) has re-kindled those feelings. She had also married and divorced 15 years ago. She was the woman of my dreams, all my life. Even though I am happily married bullsh#t....utter bullsh#t (not without the turmoils that all couples live through), I am having very strong feelings for my school sweetheart. She is happy to know about me, to re-establish contact with me. She is the woman I always loved, it's like unfinished business for me. Having found her again has been like a blast of fresh air. She is feeling the same way(she is 50 and I am 49 soon to be 50 in August). Has anyone ever loved one woman all of their lives, always remembering her, always wondering where she went? What do I do? I am torn. divorce your wife. she deserves someone faithful...whether its physically or emotionally.
Reggie Posted April 22, 2009 Posted April 22, 2009 I'd try buying some Harlequin Romance novels to fill this void.
Kamikaze Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Recently I found a lost school sweetheart of mine, someone who I loved deeply and have loved all my life. I never forgot her in spite of the passage of time. For a variety of circumstances we could not be together then. Now, after 30+ years of not having had any kind of contact with her, I have found her again. I have been married for 19 years now, soon to be 20. The contact we have re-established (at a distance, she is in Puerto Rico and I am in Atlanta, GA) has re-kindled those feelings. She had also married and divorced 15 years ago. She was the woman of my dreams, all my life. Even though I am happily married (not without the turmoils that all couples live through), I am having very strong feelings for my school sweetheart. She is happy to know about me, to re-establish contact with me. She is the woman I always loved, it's like unfinished business for me. Having found her again has been like a blast of fresh air. She is feeling the same way(she is 50 and I am 49 soon to be 50 in August). Has anyone ever loved one woman all of their lives, always remembering her, always wondering where she went? What do I do? I am torn. Run! Run as fast as you can AWAY from her! You have NEVER known heart ache like you are about to know if you don't. Take it from me - 30 years of loving a man I will never have - all the broken promises, all the lies, all the destroyed dreams - that is what YOU will have to look forward to. So, RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Dexter Morgan Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 What you want justification to cheat??? OK I give you permission go and cheat. See how that works out for you. Its very hypocritical for you to be making this comment to the OP when you do nothing but justify your own affair. Aside from that, I agree with the sentiment.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 To all of you who responded to this thread, thank you. I have come to my senses and realized that I was swimming in 'shark infested' waters. I have put an end to this encounter. Someone in this thread mentioned that I 'did not love or respect' my wife because I did not even give her the courtesy of a mention when I first started this thread. This is so far from the truth. Because I love my wife so much is that I have become 'rational' about this entire ordeal. glad to hear it, but if you loved your wife so much, why did you go looking for an X?
Dexter Morgan Posted May 12, 2009 Posted May 12, 2009 Hi lyad I am in the same boat as you right now! Right down to the 30 years ago,cept I,m married female. Married to a drunk for 4 years but been with him 15 years(his drinking progressed as we were married),so left me lonley,and pist,and all that. well a few months ago I found my Ex,s sister(I was with Ex for 4 years almost)and that was 30 years ago. This is weird same thing as you. I did not hide or sneak,I was very honest with now hubby,and the Ex,and still I messed up my head over this,cuz I dont want hubby if he continues to be drunk daily,and Ex is in a bad marraige,and is waiting for me to say the words COME ON DOWN(he lives up north from me). So now I'm just taking a day at a time,and letting things roll. Hubbys still drinking but not that much,but I know he is soon to bust. So I am out to make me happy, sorry someone will get hurt,but I;m tired of drunks. Make yourself happy,but really be honest with wife,talk to her about this,you havent done anything wrong IMO. I talk to my hubby about this daily,cuz it's on my mind now that EX and I talk often. We are not rushing things either(Ex,and I). So make a good decion for yourself,Well if you have kids together,that to me is a whole new issue,then your family comes first. well make yourself happy, get a divorce already. What is your excuse for stringing your husband along? s##t or get off the pot.
Heroic Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 Dex, I have to say I usually agree with you (99%). I, like you, am normally a fairly black and white kinda guy, but I have to disagree with you on this one. The past has a dramatic impact on a person. I would chalk this up to no more than someones past kindiling a what if moment, dwelt upon for a moment to long. In the light of day with some good advice from sober minds the OP realized this was nothing but foolishness.
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