Sonic_chaos Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Hi folks. For a long time i havent needed to use this forum as my relationship has been just great and we are very much in love. We have been in the relationship for 2 1/2 years which doesnt seem along time, but everyday has been fantastic. ive lost count how many time this came up and i said that valentines day was a day you love some one for a day, i didnt think that was right and i said that i loved you the 364 days as well. So we both planned not to buy much for each other. I got abit misplacent and to be honest didnt think how it must have felt for her. it was late the day before valentines and i said that i needed to help my dad do his cv for work, As me and my dad are out of work at the moment. So she was fine with that. it wasnt till late valentines night that i got to my girlfriends house and i could tell things from there havent been right. The nail in the coffin as you put it. since then its bee ropey, and 3 weeks ago she sent me an email explaining that it would be better if we took some time apart, as she was under the impression that i didnt love her and that i had other things that came before her. i immediately went around to sort it out, but there was no sorting it out. mainly because this had been a build up for some months. We have used the term loosely single for 3 weeks and i was told in not so many words that i didnt need to take any of my stuff out of her bedroom as she didnt think it was necessary. i had hoped it was on the road back to recovery. Over the last few weeks she has really avoided the questions i have been asking, but lat night actually went around and got to speak to her properly. The reason for the break up was that she loved me too much and because i cant spend everyday with her *we live around 10 miles away* it hurt that she couldnt be with me, She also felt alone. Ive always known she has been very clingy. And i loved the fact that we could sort any problem out very fast as we always knew we loved each other enough to sort the differences out which havent been very many, we are that must alike that we very rarely argue or have disagreements. I explained that i would change as much as i needed to and also offered to marry her. *i proposed some weeks ago to try and make that extra commitment to her* how can i be stringing her along if i offered to marry her. So as of last night, she said nothing can happen until her heart has started to heal itself and then she can look at maybe going back to the way we was but seeing more of each other. I love her so much and i know she loves me so much too. I know the first rule to break ups is no contact. But we both know this cant be possible. Ive tried to take gift off the shelf and pictures of her down, but its just bare without them. i am a home photographer so took alot of pictures of her which also hurt to see. If i hated her and she hated me. Im sure that would be different but i cant find anything apart from the current situation why i would need to hate her. her taste, touch, smell, everything she does is just amazing. I know putting her up on that pedestal is wrong for my healing process, i have been hurt before and people on this forum have helped me before. But i dunno if i want to heal and move on. If i move on will i still feel the same, i dunno how long its gonna take for her to mend her heart, that i would love to know. Ive never been in a realtionship were ive been loved too much, and i thought that would have been sorted by being around her more and showing i care more. Im still currently out of work so i am sitting in at home most nights and thro the day thinking about if and what.. this i need to sort myself and find Any job to occupy my mind i feel. I know its my own fault and my own mess what has caused this. I just want to make it right. Id give anything and i have told her that i would give ANYTHING to make it right and for her to stop hurting. Im not a praying person but i pray everynight that it will continue and i will have her in my arms again, if that happened i would never be so stupid as i was some weeks ago. ive never took her for granted.. She is my soul mate,my future wife, my future childrens mother and my best friend. and i feel lost without her
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