tkgirl Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I can see where social chemistry and physical chemistry overlap. When rufies react with and increase the affinity of GABA receptors in a girl, slowing her central nervous system, her social chemical standards become a lot less demanding! I know you were probably joking but reading this gave me the chills... and NOT in a good way!
39388 Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Learn to have real confidence, learn to live your own life, learn to not give a damn whether or not somebody likes you. All these 'rules' come off as nothing but desperation most of the time. If all you are is ten steps in some manual, then that's all you really are no matter how much you pretend not to be. Kind of sad really,. Yes, confidence really is the key. It is a little tough to not give a damn what someone thinks. We are human after all. That said if someone does reject you that you've only met a couple times, don't let it ruin your week!
Chicago_Guy Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Gawd, this type of thing drives me ape! Why don't you guys just stop with the manipulation tactics and just be human? The more you push buttons and work emotions, the more you're going to be considered inconsistent and the more you're going to get rejected as relationship material. On the otherhand, if all you want is to find a girl to bang, I suppose that's all you need, outter game with zero substance. I think you are correct. I suspect that these PUA tactics work on women who aren't sure whether they like the guy. However, sometimes guys meet women who decide right away that they like us in which case these tactics might not be applicable at all.
Jake Barnes Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I'd rather light your fire by trial.some would prefer just to skip the trial and light her on fire
MN randomguy Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I think you are correct. I suspect that these PUA tactics work on women who aren't sure whether they like the guy. However, sometimes guys meet women who decide right away that they like us in which case these tactics might not be applicable at all. Yes, if she already likes you then the pick-up stage is past. The whole theory of PUAs is not about having a relationship. Its about bedding the women you want.
carhill Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 It appears both kashmir and Jake Barnes are in good humor tonight. Pick-ups abound. Very nice
peteyj Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Yes, if she already likes you then the pick-up stage is past. The whole theory of PUAs is not about having a relationship. Its about bedding the women you want. I think therein lies the problem with most guys. Yeah for a few guys who are the charismatic players, maybe these games work well. But for most guys just looking to get laid, they come off as desperate. It really shouldn't be about just getting laid. It should be about wanting to meet people. It should be about actually wanting to get to know people. If you actually want to get to know people and actually want to meet people, then the reality is it becomes more about not caring whether or not random strangers like you. If all you are doing is hoping to get laid every time you walk up to a women, then you probably are going to come off as desperate or come off as a guy who thinks he's a playa but isn't close to being one. I walk up to strangers, male and female, all the time wherever I'm at. I actually like getting to know people. Yeah some females I find more attractive and interesting than others. But the reality is it's not that hard to get somebodies number. It's not really that hard to get people interested in you if you are actually an interesting person. Saying all that not everybody will be interested in you. Sometimes you just aren't what they are looking for or they aren't what you're looking for. Just go out, have fun, meet new people, get to know new people, and have conversations. The more people you meet and talk to the more likely you aren't going to care whether or not a couple are rude or not into you. Nobody should give a crap whether some girl you just met isn't into you. If she is, then great, if she isn't, then who cares. If you are so desperate to find love, a date, or to get laid, then you are going to care. If you meet new people all the time, then it's no big deal.
kashmir Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I know you were probably joking but reading this gave me the chills... and NOT in a good way! Huh? Joking? Rufies are a perfectly moral tactic at increasing compatibility!
Phateless Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 There are certain social protocols in place that most people intuitively figure out by the time they are teenagers. Some of us just never figured that stuff out and needed to learn it after the fact. Game is about learning how to present yourself well up front so that women have a chance to get to know you instead of rejecting you immediately SOLELY because you walked up to her. It's just learning socialization through reading.
Phateless Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 I'm not exactly passing judgment, I just don't think that this is the kind of thing that needs to be turned into a science. Chemistry just isn't something that can be planned. Game is designed for men who understand science but not people. It helps them learn to understand people. Have you ever met a great guy who is really intelligent and decent looking but obviously just doesn't have a clue? Well how else is he supposed to get a clue?
kashmir Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 There are certain social protocols in place that most people intuitively figure out by the time they are teenagers. Some of us just never figured that stuff out and needed to learn it after the fact. Game is about learning how to present yourself well up front so that women have a chance to get to know you instead of rejecting you immediately SOLELY because you walked up to her. It's just learning socialization through reading. Game is designed for men who understand science but not people. It helps them learn to understand people. Have you ever met a great guy who is really intelligent and decent looking but obviously just doesn't have a clue? Well how else is he supposed to get a clue? Great posts. You're spot on. I've been thinking of getting "The Game." Do you think it is helpful and worth it?
Phateless Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Great posts. You're spot on. I've been thinking of getting "The Game." Do you think it is helpful and worth it? The Game is a story, not an instruction manual, but it's still an amazing read. The instruction manual is called "The Venusian Arts Handbook" and it helped me understand a lot of social situations that always mystified me before. Like I've been saying, use it to understand things and to be your best self. Blindly repeating lines will work in some situations but it won't ever find you a real and true connection. I think you are correct. I suspect that these PUA tactics work on women who aren't sure whether they like the guy. However, sometimes guys meet women who decide right away that they like us in which case these tactics might not be applicable at all. One of the major things I learned by reading this stuff was just how NOT to screw it up. I have had girls like me in the past, but I always managed to screw it up, usually before I could even get to a first date, and almost always by the end of the first date.
Author colosseum Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 One of the major things I learned by reading this stuff was just how NOT to screw it up. I have had girls like me in the past, but I always managed to screw it up, usually before I could even get to a first date, and almost always by the end of the first date. So...how do you "NOT" screw it up? Because I've gotten pretty good at that. And please, don't just tell me to go get the book.
Phateless Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 So...how do you "NOT" screw it up? Because I've gotten pretty good at that. And please, don't just tell me to go get the book. lol, it really depends on what you're doing that's working against you, but confidence and decisiveness are key. i can pm you a couple of links that could set you on the right track if you like. remember, like i said earlier, it's all about reading to trigger epiphanies. as you read and look inside yourself, you'll start to replay past situations in your mind's eye and suddenly realize, "whoa.... so THAT'S what was going on there! now it makes sense! i can see exactly what went wrong!" at least that's how it was for me.
MN randomguy Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 One of the major things I learned by reading this stuff was just how NOT to screw it up. I have had girls like me in the past, but I always managed to screw it up, usually before I could even get to a first date, and almost always by the end of the first date. Very good point. Especially with younger women and girls in packs. I need work on group dynamics. Being "Nice"(ladies, you need to find a more respectable substitute for this word) doesn't help. I've read "How to be the Alpha Male" it has helped me some. I would like to learn more about how to be friends with the friends and be respected.
Phateless Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Very good point. Especially with younger women and girls in packs. I need work on group dynamics. Being "Nice"(ladies, you need to find a more respectable substitute for this word) doesn't help. I've read "How to be the Alpha Male" it has helped me some. I would like to learn more about how to be friends with the friends and be respected. The Game and The Venusian Arts Handbook are a great start. At the very least, they will give you some things to think about that will trigger epiphanies for you. You are still a free and critical thinker. Just because you read it doesn't mean you'll turn into a social robot.
Yamaha Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 I try to be interested in what they are passionate about as best as possible. This doesn't work. Girls get bored with a guy who doesn't have some tricks up his sleeve. It's called FLIRTING. You can get to know someone but do it in a way that is fun AND interesting. Flirting is adult fun that allows you to act silly and be a kid again. It doesn't require tricks, just a desire to get to know someone and be real. It's not rocket science.
385 Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 Pick up artist. Do that like 85% of the time and then every once in a while, be nice.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2009 Posted March 25, 2009 It's called FLIRTING. You can get to know someone but do it in a way that is fun AND interesting. Flirting is adult fun that allows you to act silly and be a kid again. It doesn't require tricks, just a desire to get to know someone and be real. It's not rocket science.Yes, flirting is fun. It's not manipulation. Both people have a great time and while doing so, decide if it's worth pursuing anything further, if sparks fly.
kashmir Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Yes, flirting is fun. It's not manipulation. Both people have a great time and while doing so, decide if it's worth pursuing anything further, if sparks fly. But there lies the problem. Some guys don't know how to flirt or never get good responses when they try.
Trialbyfire Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 But there lies the problem. Some guys don't know how to flirt or never get good responses when they try. Flirting takes practice. The only way anyone gets "good" at anything is to keep trying. It's like playing the guitar. You can't expect to pick it up and intuitively know how to chord.
IcemanJB Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Ah flirting, so fun. My thinking is if you can get her to laugh at something you said and she's unable to respond (like a speechless expression in a good way), it's a go. Sort of taunt/tease her, and refer back to something she said earlier to get her into a 'playful contradiction' (wow that's a new one); basically give her a hard time.
MN randomguy Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 It's called FLIRTING. You can get to know someone but do it in a way that is fun AND interesting. Flirting is adult fun that allows you to act silly and be a kid again. It doesn't require tricks, just a desire to get to know someone and be real. It's not rocket science. Wish it was, I'm pretty good at math. I suck at flirting. But there lies the problem. Some guys don't know how to flirt or never get good responses when they try. ding, ding, ding yes, and getting poor responses reinforces all of the fears you have. Flirting takes practice. The only way anyone gets "good" at anything is to keep trying. It's like playing the guitar. You can't expect to pick it up and intuitively know how to chord. And, like playing the guitar, if you try to teach yourself and get no where, instead of getting frustrated, take lessons.
kashmir Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Ah flirting, so fun. My thinking is if you can get her to laugh at something you said and she's unable to respond (like a speechless expression in a good way), it's a go. Sort of taunt/tease her, and refer back to something she said earlier to get her into a 'playful contradiction' (wow that's a new one); basically give her a hard time. I've done this. I can tease and be sarcastic, but I find that doing that alone will just piss girls off. I don't know how to be flirty in a sweet or cutesy way, which I think needs to complement the teasing. I probably can't do this because it seems to pointless and annoying to me that I won't let myself stoop to that level just to get a girl's attention. Whenever I see guys being pathetic around girls I just want to grab them and slap some sense and self-respect into them. IMO, having a mature talk with a girl and asking her out without any doubts should be enough. I shouldn't have to degrade myself by acting like a dumbass.
IcemanJB Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I know what you mean about wanting to slap some sense into guys that sound ridiculous. It's obvious when guys try to hard. But it's also obvious when that friend of yours talks to girls and is super good at it. The main thing is to just have fun, be confident, and challenge her. It's impossible to give a formula or specifics on this sort of thing as it depends on the girl and situation. I've had girls tell me I'm very perceptive (the last gf said "it's almost scary how well you can read me"), mainly because of the questions I ask, and observations I make about her (sometimes humorous). Just find what you're good at and roll with it. You can have a "mature talk" with a girl and be flirting at the same time. Basically I mean you can say something very deep and profound to a girl without actually SAYING the words. This is a type of flirting.
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