Author Isolde Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 I think THE most pompous rejection of all time is ignoring someone. I've gotten a few of those. I'd rather a guy spew the most asinine things to me than to not say anything at all. For someone to ignore someone else smacks of pompousness- it's like, who the hell do you think you are not to at least owe someone a simple text or email that just says "no". It takes two seconds.... I don't really agree, if it's after just one or two dates. It isn't particularly NICE to ignore, but I understand why someone might choose that route as it's cleaner.
shadowplay Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I think the worst rejection I've experienced was with that crush I had over the summer. He could have simply said he wasn't interested but instead kept hemming and hawing, insisting he was interested and setting dates only to cancel them on me. Went on for like a month. I wish he had spared me the grief. If you're not interested in someone, then, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't knowingly string them along on the off chance you might change your mind. Sheesh.
OpenBook Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I think THE most pompous rejection of all time is ignoring someone. I've gotten a few of those. I'd rather a guy spew the most asinine things to me than to not say anything at all. For someone to ignore someone else smacks of pompousness- it's like, who the hell do you think you are not to at least owe someone a simple text or email that just says "no". It takes two seconds.... Yeah but sometimes you get burned when you try to be nice - they start arguing with you, trying to make you feel like there's something wrong with YOU. It's just not worth it sometimes.
shadowplay Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 I don't really agree, if it's after just one or two dates. It isn't particularly NICE to ignore, but I understand why someone might choose that route as it's cleaner. Yes and no. If you go on a first or second date and lead them to believe that you'll call them or set up a next date, it's wrong to just ignore them if they try to reach you. If they call, the best etiquette is to probably send them a text or email back that says: "You're a cool girl/guy, but I'm not feeling the chemistry. Take care." If you didn't lead them on, after one or two dates it's OK to ignore their calls. I agree with SS that after the third date it's really bad form to not give them an explanation. With that in mind I'm shocked about how many long-term relationships end by one party pulling a disappearing act out of the blue. People can be so cowardly.
D-Lish Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 A pompous rejection is a rejection that is out of the ordinary. It's much more detailed and elaborate than a simple "Sorry, but no." Generally it's after 1-2 dates and involves a long and drawn out explanation over several paragraphs including all the reasons the compatibility/chemistry isn't there. Is this a spin off from another thread Isolde? Where the rejection comes out of nowhere, unsolicited, after a couple dates? Like rejecting someone with an explanation when you aren't even sure if they are all that into you? ie: We had two dates, I wasn't all that into him- so I e-mailed him to tell him we weren't compatible and what was wrong with him? lol. That's pompous alright.
ruggy Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Yeah, I think this is actually a pretty good guide. Yea, well I got a six page text message (160 character limit per page). When responded to, never received a reply until 3 weeks later. She asked some questions, replied to. Never heard back. Just received my movie back with a card. This was after six or seven dates. Most women are just weird or something in my area.
Author Isolde Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Is this a spin off from another thread Isolde? Where the rejection comes out of nowhere, unsolicited, after a couple dates? Like rejecting someone with an explanation when you aren't even sure if they are all that into you? Nope not a spin off--your definition above is exactly what I'm talking about. This thread is designed to be funny as sometimes thinking back to past rejections can make you really glad you didn't end up dating that person.
ruggy Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Nope not a spin off--your definition above is exactly what I'm talking about. This thread is designed to be funny as sometimes thinking back to past rejections can make you really glad you didn't end up dating that person. Funny doubtful.
Author Isolde Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Funny doubtful. Well your example wasn't really a "pompous" one, it was more being inconsiderate after 6-7 dates, which I agree isn't funny.
D-Lish Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Nope not a spin off--your definition above is exactly what I'm talking about. This thread is designed to be funny as sometimes thinking back to past rejections can make you really glad you didn't end up dating that person. I wrote a guy through a dating site once that I liked his pic with his dog. He wrote me back a two paragraph rejection letter- lol. ....Not into LDR's, wanted someone local, had a preference for someone into "art"...blah. blah, blah. I think it started with "hey, thanks for your interest, but...." I remember reading it and thinking "weird". All I did was say "Hey, I like that pic of you and your dog".
makingmacaroons Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Oooh, I've got one. When my sister was in high school, she briefly dated a guy who claimed to be an Abercrombie and Fitch model. He dumped her for her friend, and then she found out the model claim was a lie. She wasn't all that upset, since he was kind of a douche from the beginning. The clincher, though, was the letter he printed out and sent to her. He wrote four or five paragraphs. Allow me to paraphrase: Michelle, I know you are upset but please understand this is for the best. You are a really cool girl but hanging out with you was like hanging out with a sister and when I was sitting in the back seat with Kristin and she rested her head on my shoulder it became clear that she and I were meant to be together. I have had a hard life and get into trouble a lot, you get straight A's and are going to be a doctor (she had never said this and was not actually planning to be a doctor) and I do not deserve you, I would ruin your perfect life.. I am sitting here crying while I am writing this..." etc. etc. etc. Michelle and I thought it was hilarious and proceeded to whip out our marker collection and color code all the sentences in the entire letter. For example, yellow underline meant "poor me, I had to dump you and it was so hard", green meant "I am a liar" etc. We still have the letter, it has become legendary.
Author Isolde Posted March 20, 2009 Author Posted March 20, 2009 etc. etc. etc. Michelle and I thought it was hilarious and proceeded to whip out our marker collection and color code all the sentences in the entire letter. For example, yellow underline meant "poor me, I had to dump you and it was so hard", green meant "I am a liar" etc. We still have the letter, it has become legendary. That's golden! This is the kind of story I was looking for--where they are sincerely worried they're really hurting you for life
Recommended Posts