sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Hi Everyone: Short version. Been out with a guy two times. He is shy, but very nice. Seems to like me, writes a lot, etc, etc. However, not a lot of flirting has been going on. We told each other we look nice in our outfits, and that is about it. I'm a very sexual prson, (but only with those I have dated, not random people.)and worry a bit he might be more conservative . I think he is a sex before marriage type, but not absolutely sure. I certainly don't want to bring up my "conquests" or something, lol, I KNOW that would scare him, but want to try to bring up the subject of sexual attitudes and want to know when and how to do this. Any advice from LSers?
mr.dream merchant Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Hi Everyone: Short version. Been out with a guy two times. He is shy, but very nice. Seems to like me, writes a lot, etc, etc. However, not a lot of flirting has been going on. We told each other we look nice in our outfits, and that is about it. I'm a very sexual prson, (but only with those I have dated, not random people.)and worry a bit he might be more conservative . I think he is a sex before marriage type, but not absolutely sure. I certainly don't want to bring up my "conquests" or something, lol, I KNOW that would scare him, but want to try to bring up the subject of sexual attitudes and want to know when and how to do this. Any advice from LSers? Hmm try and make small subtle physical approaches. Chest or leg rub here and there.
kdark Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I would guide the conversation towards friendly innocent sex talk, and then just point blank ask the question when it didn't seem like you were asking it out of the blue.
yeex Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 We told each other we look nice in our outfits, and that is about it. haha, that is hilarious.
missdependant Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 You say you've only been out two times? No need to rush things.. go on a few more dates and see if anything else happens.. then bring the subject up. I think if you wait a while, the subject will inevitably come up.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I would guide the conversation towards friendly innocent sex talk, and then just point blank ask the question when it didn't seem like you were asking it out of the blue. I know he was with someone for two years, but don't know what they did together, (Lol, that would have been awkward and creepy "so have sex with your ex?" lol.) although the girl cheated, and I know they didn't live together. (I felt comfortable asking if they lived together .)
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 You say you've only been out two times? No need to rush things.. go on a few more dates and see if anything else happens.. then bring the subject up. I think if you wait a while, the subject will inevitably come up. Yes, that makes sense, just want to make sure we have somewhat similar attitudes.
missdependant Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Yes, that makes sense, just want to make sure we have somewhat similar attitudes. You guys will probably go on more dates from the sound of it.. there shouldn't be a big hurry in finding out, if you feel he might have potential. I mean if it becomes months without sex and you're interested in sex you might have a problem.. but for now there might be plenty of other things to talk about. :-)
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 Hmm try and make small subtle physical approaches. Chest or leg rub here and there. This might make him nervous. I have told him I'm forward in "romantic" matters and he seemed to like that. He might be a bit more tradiotional than i'm used to.
yeex Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 yeah two dates is not that bad. I would think by the third date he should at least try to kiss you if there is an interest. Maybe he is really shy. I would be thinking about that first kiss before sex and see how that goes even if you have to initiate it.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 You say you've only been out two times? No need to rush things.. go on a few more dates and see if anything else happens.. then bring the subject up. I think if you wait a while, the subject will inevitably come up. He does want to come over sometime to cook dinner.. Maybe I'll know after that,.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 yeah two dates is not that bad. I would think by the third date he should at least try to kiss you if there is an interest. Maybe he is really shy. I would be thinking about that first kiss before sex and see how that goes even if you have to initiate it. Well, he kissed me on the cheek on the second date, but that is the cheek, lol.
yeex Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 ok, well see what happens on the third date. Maybe it will be on the lips. I would not be concerned about the sex just yet. Some people are slower with that.
missdependant Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I've been with a few shy guys. They're the best in bed! :-) Patience. You'll probably get something great. And if not.. drop 'em.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 ok, well see what happens on the third date. Maybe it will be on the lips. I would not be concerned about the sex just yet. Some people are slower with that. True, it is not just the sex, but also the flirting as well. Like I don't consider commenting on my outfit really flirting, lol, my gay friends do that too, lol.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I've been with a few shy guys. They're the best in bed! :-) Patience. You'll probably get something great. And if not.. drop 'em. I think after the next date planned, I will ask about him cooking me dinner. It doesn't have to be full blown ssex, lol, but something would be nice.
missdependant Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 True, it is not just the sex, but also the flirting as well. Like I don't consider commenting on my outfit really flirting, lol, my gay friends do that too, lol. Flirt with him.. when he's cooking will probably be the easiest time. Like if he's looking for your wooden spoons.. You know, be creative. ^_^'''
yeex Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 ok, well, I just do not think 2 dates is enough to judge somebody in those regards. Get back to us after 4 or 5 dates and we will see what is going on.
bigmanpayne Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 it is early. give it more time. but, what is wrong with just coming out and being honest? there is nothing wrong with all cards being on the table. sex is important so he should know what you think and how you feel up front. just my humble opinion.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 it is early. give it more time. but, what is wrong with just coming out and being honest? there is nothing wrong with all cards being on the table. sex is important so he should know what you think and how you feel up front. just my humble opinion. Yes, I know for some people is isn't a biggie, but for me it is if it's something that isn't going to happen for a long time. I think I will wait until he comes over to cook for me, and then chat with him. (if it doesn't naturally come up, lol.) I don't think bringing it up in public would be good with him.
BobSacamento Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Coming over to cook...something is going to happen.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 Coming over to cook...something is going to happen. And he wants to bring wine.
bigmanpayne Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Coming over to cook...something is going to happen. LOL I agree. Cooking = something is going to happen. It's sensual.
Author sfsassy Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 LOL I agree. Cooking = something is going to happen. It's sensual. Yes, and if it doesn't, then I'll know he probably isn't right for me. II don't mean full blown sex, because it mmight be a bit before that, but making out or something.
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