TerryTeardrop Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Ok, I was with my girlfriend for over 2 years and I am 39 she is 37. I have 2 failed relationships and 3 children with those women. I have made a huge mistake and do not know what to do My recent ex was by far the best thing that has happened to me but I am a mess. I use cocaine occasionally and smoke dope daily and this causes me to be very up and down in my moods and unreliable and selfish, it is hard for me to admit this but it is true. Me and my girlfriend were very on and off due to the fact that I would be unreliable and she would get angry at me and break up and then when I missed her so much I would make the effort to get her back and we would be fine until the next time I let her down. She is a lovely girl and I love her so much but I have treated every girl in my life the same. Anyway, I met a young girl last summer and was taking her out when me and my ex would break up. She is 23 and looks similar to my ex but a younger version. My ex found out about the girl recently and has broken up with me for good and now I know I have lost her for good I am truley heartbroken but I cannot contact her as I was so mean to her. My ex called the new girl and knows the full facts and there is no get out for me. She has not contacted me since this happened and I miss her so much. The new girl was so mad at me for lying that she treated me really bad and we have broken up and now I have no one and have lost the best thing that has happened to me! Is there any way I can get my ex back for good? Yes I have messed up but I know my mistakes now and want to change and get her back. It is her birthday today and I wanted to text her but I was too scared of her response plus I am so ashamed of myself! What can I do?
bean1 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 You are still selfish. You should be addressing your cocaine use and mood issues for your children first. Children need a stable father who isn't using drugs, especially cocaine. Come on - you are almost 40 and a father of 3! Where are your priorities? Clean up your act and PROVE that you are a good person through consistent actions. Don't 'WANT' to change: DO IT! Otherwise, it's just more empty words. She isn't falling for it anymore.
voldigicam Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Unless you're fixing up yourself for you, nothing you do will work. Straighten yourself out. Then worry about others.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Your ex would have to be completely out of her mind to want a relationship with her. You're a drug addict, have had three children without getting married, and cheated on the ex. Unless she has really low self-esteem, it's probably over.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I just realized that TerryTeardrop is a troll and has posted other messages where "he" claims to be a woman asking how to break up with a man. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2020229
Cherished Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I figured. Beautiful child though, if that's his.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I just realized that TerryTeardrop is a troll and has posted other messages where "he" claims to be a woman asking how to break up with a man. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2020229 YEAH...okay. I was almost positive Terry was a WOMAN, but thought I must be remembering wrong. Thanks for this heads' up.
Viking Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 What is the point of trolling? Seriously, that story probably took a while to fabricate!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I am using my room mates account, I did not know you could not do that? She told me that this was a good site and let me use her account This is a genuine problem
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I am using my room mates account, I did not know you could not do that? She told me that this was a good site and let me use her account This is a genuine problem Well, you might have wanted to preface your post with that. Most people here are pretty sharp. Doing what you did is equivalent to dressing up in your roommate's clothes, putting on a mask and asking her acquaintances for advice and then wondering why you're getting weird looks.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 But in response to your genuine problem: I'd say the best and healthiest thing you could do would be to let her go. Does she not deserve happiness? Sure, you'll be unhappy without her, but you obviously haven't provided happiness for her. Why should she have to put up with you just because she's the best thing that has happened to YOU? Your post reeks of ME ME ME. What about what SHE wants?
Author TerryTeardrop Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I know I know and I have never used an internet forum nor did I know they existed to be honest. I just rang my roomy who told me that she forgot to tell me to do that. Sorry for the confusion Yes she deserves happiness, she is wonderful and kind and a lovely person. I really want to change but just do not know how. I have lost the best thing to happen to me
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I just had to say - the time stamp of your post is freaking ironic. Honestly, you will not change until you hit rock-bottom. And obviously you haven't yet if you continue to use crack and MJ. They are both screwing with your moods and the way you treat people. If it were truly important, you would have changed already. When you hit rock-bottom, perhaps you will check yourself into a treatment program and learn how to live life without your crutches. So what's more important to you - your drugs or the people that you SAY are important? Based on your choices, the answer is obvious - especially to your ex.
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