twoheartsbeatasonee Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Hello This could be a very long thread. I would love some help please. Pretty much been to hell and back. Theres a great amount that i will leave out but try to keep it simple Big age gap -im 49 shes 23 in august (never been a issue and age is not the reason for our split ) Im the first boyfriend and we have been together for 4 and a half years. almost 3 of these have been living together at my home. She moved 120 miles across country to be with me-pretty big move. we have both expierienced losses over the time we have known each other - my mother who i cared for and her granma - even in the 12 months i gave 24-7 care to my mother for a year or more we still were very very strong together. 15 months ago she said we were finishing. My work self employed hit a bad patch and it blew her away as well as me but i got through it - we got things back on a good level again .The relationship continued sexually and all was good with one exception. 15 months on we are still living together - shes still here at my home and still planning things we are going to do socially and things that we have in common ( pretty big things like rearing cattle and days out and trips away ). All the converations that she has with me are "we this "and "we that." When she passed her driving test last summer thats when the independance set in and changes big time took place. She had a small affair with a work employee and since then also has had odd nights with 2 brothers not knowing about each other. Up to 2-3 weeks ago we were still sleeping in same bed -often hugging and still intimate on occasional times. We still have occasional 1-2 hour daytime naps as we both get up early - these have been in my bed together sometimes clothed or unclothed. She constantly tells me its all over -we will not be together again in love - its all gone - and shes lost all the love for me ? Shes recently met a guy whos in the same business as her -hes cooked her a meal - shes slept with him on date 2 - shes in a hotel tonight with him on date 3 as he lives at home and date 4 in 3 days time they go away for 2 days together in hotel. Shes always told me he likes her much much more than she likes him. So: The fact we are planning lots of things still together and things booked that are coming up. The fact that 15 months on shes still here and i honestly dont see her going. The fact that this guy is pouring money into her - texting her 1000 times last month (thats a fact maybe 1300 times) and she says he likes her way more than she likes him. The fact that even today we have hugged with real meaning at least 5 times and 20 minutes before she went out was happy for me to be as close as intimate one can be - she was in her new bra and knickers and allowing me to be intimate in fondling with her ) I dont want to lose her friendship ever and obviously i want things back the way they were . I do want A long term friendship if nothing else . I just cannot be convinced no matter how many times she tells me its over that it actually is? Her whole approach to it all could be concieved that shes having a free lunch on me but i just dont see that. My gut feeling is shes young and dosent know what she wants and wants to experience many partners now while she is young but at same time dosent want to breakout and leave herself vunerable. She admits she cant ever make a good decision and thats quite true on events that have happend .I amincrediblypatientand prepared to go with this for some further time. I love her and she knows it . The moment i have a drink with a female friend its where you going and who with... Has anybody had such a crazy situationas thisone or heard of any similar ? thanks for reading
kymberann Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Sounds crazy! Why would you want her around...when she continues to do this? Make up her mind for her and stick to it! Really what kind of a friend is she if she did this, and said as much but won't act on it herself? Make her move on so you can to!
Recommended Posts