Disillusioned Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 ...and then you die without ever having met the right person, then does it mean the cliche is BS?
confused_2008 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 ...and then you die without ever having met the right person, then does it mean the cliche is BS? What cliche? That there's somebody for everyone? (sorry if i'm dense )
Trialbyfire Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 ...and then you die without ever having met the right person, then does it mean the cliche is BS? No, it just means that you're way too picky!
Isolde Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 No, it just means that you're way too picky! Not necessarily. Some people just have really bad luck.
Trialbyfire Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Not necessarily. Some people just have really bad luck.Until you're 100? That's impossibly bad luck unless you never socialize.
openbook08 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Not necessarily. Some people just have really bad luck. i. am. officially. scared. schittless. now.
Isolde Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 i. am. officially. scared. schittless. now. I know, me too. I mean, I do think it's technically possible, but highly unlikely.
Lights Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Until you're 100? That's impossibly bad luck unless you never socialize. Not necessarily impossibly bad. Some people do have relationships with "the wrong people" consecutively several times in their lives.
Isolde Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Until you're 100? That's impossibly bad luck unless you never socialize. Seriously, though, 70-100 aren't easy years to date, so that sort of gives you from the ages of 20-70, which is 50 years. Still a long time, but you never know. Maybe I'm in a cynical mood today.
Lights Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 What cliche? That there's somebody for everyone? (sorry if i'm dense ) If that's the answer (that there necessarily is someone for everyone, and that the someone in question can be encountered within an lifespan of greater-than-average length) and the situation is as the OP described, then yes, the cliche would be BS. It's a simple disproof by counterexample.
Trialbyfire Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Seriously, though, 70-100 aren't easy years to date, so that sort of gives you from the ages of 20-70, which is 50 years. Still a long time, but you never know. Maybe I'm in a cynical mood today. Lifespan might have something to do with it! Average lifespan for the U.S.: Males - 75.29 Females - 81.13
Isolde Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Lifespan might have something to do with it! Average lifespan for the U.S.: Males - 75.29 Females - 81.13 Wow, I didn't know there was such a disparity between male and female lifespans. Kinda unfair... In all seriousness, I think there's plenty of time to find the right person, but the fact is that some people don't, and in at least a few of those cases, it's not because of pickiness. :(
Trialbyfire Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Wow, I didn't know there was such a disparity between male and female lifespans. Kinda unfair...It's the price of testosterone!
ianandris Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Well, this thread got me thinking about what percentage of people end up dying without getting married. The stats aren't that bad, tbh. Some of us might be lagging behind the curve a bit, but the probability of finding someone at some point before you die is WAY higher than the probability of never finding someone at all. Like, by a ridiculous margin. http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/percentage-of-w.html
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Wow, I didn't know there was such a disparity between male and female lifespans. Kinda unfair... In all seriousness, I think there's plenty of time to find the right person, but the fact is that some people don't, and in at least a few of those cases, it's not because of pickiness. :( I agree. I'd go so far to say that a lot of people never find the right person for whatever reason. Let's say the right person is somebody who is at the bare minimum: 1) decent, respectful 2) sane 3) shares your basic values 4) you find physically attractive The problem isn't finding people who fit this profile, but finding people who fit it, are single AND attracted to you. Let's say you're physically unattractive. What's the chance somebody who fits those criteria would feel the same way about you, especially when they have these positive traits that make them desirable to others? I see a lot of people settling by giving up one or more of those basic criteria that a relationship needs to work.
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Well, this thread got me thinking about what percentage of people end up dying without getting married. The stats aren't that bad, tbh. Some of us might be lagging behind the curve a bit, but the probability of finding someone at some point before you die is WAY higher than the probability of never finding someone at all. Like, by a ridiculous margin. http://www.halfsigma.com/2008/04/percentage-of-w.html Yeah but married and happily married are two separate things...
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 As an example I know a guy who is 21 and has CP. He's smart, sweet and driven, but he has never had a girlfriend despite having a lot of female friends. Once when my ex and I were together he asked "How long have you and Shadow been together?" Then he said, "I'll never have a girlfriend." I feel really sorry for him, because I could definitely see that coming to pass. Whether we like to admit it or not, there are decent people out there who will have a tough time finding ANY mates let alone the right ones for them. What do you say to somebody like that?
ianandris Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Well, I'd guess the chances are pretty good, we're just impatient creatures (probably a necessary trait in order for those chances to be as good as they are, tbh. )
ianandris Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Married and happy are two different things, sure, but that's up to the individuals in the marriage. At least they have a shot at happiness in that context, right? That's pretty sad about your friend with CP... Poor guy. Kinda makes you wonder if there's a dating site for people with CP, though..
Trialbyfire Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 As an example I know a guy who is 21 and has CP. He's smart, sweet and driven, but he has never had a girlfriend despite having a lot of female friends. Once when my ex and I were together he asked "How long have you and Shadow been together?" Then he said, "I'll never have a girlfriend." I feel really sorry for him, because I could definitely see that coming to pass. Whether we like to admit it or not, there are decent people out there who will have a tough time finding ANY mates let alone the right ones for them. What do you say to somebody like that? He's 21 years old. How can you make a shot call on someone who's barely started their lives, particularly someone who's probably been focused on whatever drives him, rather than his social skills? Now if you were to bring up the example of a 60 year old virgin, that would be another ballgame.
shadowplay Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 He's 21 years old. How can you make a shot call on someone who's barely started their lives, particularly someone who's probably been focused on whatever drives him, rather than his social skills? Now if you were to bring up the example of a 60 year old virgin, that would be another ballgame. I hope you're right that I'm being overly pessimistic.
Trialbyfire Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I hope you're right that I'm being overly pessimistic.Yes, I do feel you're being overly pessimistic. Sooner or later, he's going to come into himself. Some of these guys take a little time to get their feet under them, in that men tend to define themselves by their accomplishments, like career, etc. If he's as driven as you think, he's going to succeed in whatever he chooses to do. When this happens, he'll gain confidence in himself, which equates to greater success with women.
Shygirl15 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Not necessarily. Some people just have really bad luck. Some people create their own bad luck, Isolde.
Isolde Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Some people create their own bad luck, Isolde. True, and some don't.
MN randomguy Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Of course some people never find a mate. Look at my generation in China. It's like over 60% male. Its statistically impossible for all of those guys to find women. Also, England, upper-middle-class after WWI. I heard a radio program about it. Possibly This American Life. In the British culture at that time you did not date (scratch that, term didn't exist back then) court/marry outside of your socio-economic class. In the War the upper-class young men were officers and the first guys outta the trenches(remember in that culture it was an honor to die in military service. They had somewhere near 90% casualty rate. They told the young ladies in finishing school that most of them would not get married. And, that's how it was. That was the first generation with lots of career women.
Recommended Posts