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Posted

...ok sooo this is what happened! yesterday my girlfriend decided to hang out with her friends (3 girls, 5-6 guys) today and not invite me, i called her and asked her what she was doing today and she said "nothing just hanging out with some friends", i asked if i could hang out too. Then she said no i don't want to hang out with you today. soo i asked oook why don't you wanna hang out with me then. she said "i just don't want to". I kinda went a little crazy because this past week me and her were arguing pretty much non-stop. I kept calling her back and eventually she got really mad at me and hung up the phone on me (i REALLY hate it when people hang up on me). So i called back and said things i shouldn't have, but before i got off the phone i said B***h to her. I then called back and said i was sorry i just got really frustrated. But then she said that our relationship is over! I had soo many mixed emotions i almost had a panic attack...no joke. So i tried to call her to talk about exactly why we broke up. She said only briefly that "we pretty much broke up because we treated each other like crap, and the fact that i called her a B***h made things even worse, and i also would never say that im sorry when i did things to offend her! I don't know what to do i want her back sooo badly but she just says every time "NO". I'm now realizing all these things that caused us to break up, and im telling her to give me one more chance, but her answer is still "NO", and on top of things a friend of mine and hers is going over her house tomorrow (She told me when we were dating that she is attracted to this guy but she doesn't like him) to me there's no difference but maybe im wrong. Please give me ANY advice. Anything would really help me out!!!

 

Oh and i should also add that both of us were in an emotionally abusive relationship

 

Today it all of a sudden REALLY hit me, because she is hanging out with a guy that she said she is attracted to today. Im gonna be honest i cried for about 30 minutes straight. I hate the fact that she already has another guy "lined up" for her to be with!

 

...And Today i went out at 4:30 AM to get Tim Burton's: Corpse Bride (Her Favorite All Time Movie Is Tim Burtons: Nightmare Before Christmas), i don't know if i should give it to her today, But i want her to know that i care ALOT about her because i never showed her how much i loved her while we were dating!

 

~C~

Posted

Don't give her anything, don't call her, don't talk to her. She probably does have someone else lined up...its the way it works normally.

 

Best thing you can do is just go no contact. If she wants to be with you you'll know it, she will be the one doing all the trying....

Posted

I'm sorry you are hurting. This sounds horrible, as does she. She was trying to get rid of you by telling you she was hanging out with friends and didn't want you along. She knew that would hurt you and that you would explode. Then she used you exploding as the excuse to end the relationship. She set you up, so to speak. And you are right. She is a b*tch. I'm a girl. I know what she did to you. You need to completely ignore her. Completely. No matter how much it hurts. And you do not need to apologize to her for getting angry because you were hurt that she was neglecting you and treating you like crap. She knew not inviting you along would hurt you. That is called neglect and taking someone for granted. And it is emotionally abusive. Do not apologize anymore to this girl. Get angry. Be angry. Stay angry. This is BS. Do not give her anymore attention. Cut her off. Her ego is far too big at the moment.

Posted

i think you need to go no contact.. the more you run after her the more she will push you away.. and from a female perspective this girl knows that at the moment she can push you away and you'll still come running back, you've been begging with her, calling her, etc and she's told you 'No' and you've still kept calling so at the moment she has the upper hand, u need to turn the tables on her.. once u go no contact she will start to wonder where u are and what you're up to, she'll wonder why u aren't 'bothering her' and then she'll probably start to miss you..

Posted

and don't give her the tape.. that will look like you are 'running' after her no matter how many times she has told you 'no' ..this suggests to her that you'll always be there waiting as if she can just come along and pick you up again if she feels like it or when her friends are busy.. i know it's really hard, believe me, but u need to go no contact, let her see what she is missing, disappear for a while and let her miss u

 

 

ahh, if only i could take my own advice

Posted

Calling her a bitch was the end I don't blame her you sound overbearing and controlling at the best of times!

 

You sound just like my abusive ex he never would say sorry either afterwords 95% of the time its just wears you down eventually and the hundreds of obsessive phone calls and so on..

 

Sounds like an abusive relationship in the making if I ever herd of one good on her for not getting sucked into it for the long run! Look I'm not trying to bash on you sorry if it sounds like that.

 

But shes gone nothing you can do to change that now she doesn't want you anymore! My advice grieve and learn from it and then move on take the time to work on yourself so next time you will know how to treat a gf better...

Posted
I'm sorry you are hurting. This sounds horrible, as does she. She was trying to get rid of you by telling you she was hanging out with friends and didn't want you along. She knew that would hurt you and that you would explode. Then she used you exploding as the excuse to end the relationship. She set you up, so to speak. And you are right. She is a b*tch. I'm a girl. I know what she did to you. You need to completely ignore her. Completely. No matter how much it hurts. And you do not need to apologize to her for getting angry because you were hurt that she was neglecting you and treating you like crap. She knew not inviting you along would hurt you. That is called neglect and taking someone for granted. And it is emotionally abusive. Do not apologize anymore to this girl. Get angry. Be angry. Stay angry. This is BS. Do not give her anymore attention. Cut her off. Her ego is far too big at the moment.

Sorry but just blaming the girl 100% is crap to me :rolleyes: it takes 2 to tango! I'm sure he hasn't been a saint and she just decided to torture him by not wanting to be around him?

 

Theres usually reasons why people want a break from each other but he couldn't let her have one?

 

Think about it he HAD to be there to KNOW what she was doing WHO she was with and when she didn't feed into the controlling behavior answer the continuous phone calls and so on he flipped and called her a bitch.

 

 

Sorry been there done that classic controlling behavior and that usually goes along with other abusive behaviors in the future if left unchecked.

 

I think she was just reacting to a bad situation and she made the right choice for them both I do agree with one thing you said he needs to go no contact tho..

Posted

man i feel so sad we've all been were your r very hurt and depressed and lonely not sure why this bitch is acting the way she is theres a million things on your mind. your wondering why is this so hard why cant you just say **** it **** her and go out and hook up with other random girls....it just cant escape your mind...i know.....its cause you prob love her and have very strong feelings for her...it just sucks balls when the feeling is reciprocated .... :(

its easy for us to say yes move on blah blah blah but what makes it easier for us to say it is cause your hurting so bad right now your writing your feeling to us a bunch of strangers pouring your heart out and what is she doing now....exactly! thats why we say **** her stupid ass move on! you deserve someone who gives a **** about you. trust me there are plenty of sweet girls out there you just gotta put yourself back out there love.

Posted

Why do I have the odd feeling I'm the only one above 18 thats replied to this thread I guess its true what they say with age dose come experience lol..

Posted

I've been in your shoes before. More than once. The pain seemed unbearable each time; and time is what it takes for the pain to go away. You need to let her go so you can heal. Just try to hang in there as they say, "one day at a time". Once you feel better you can look back on this and learn from it... if you try. Until then eat, breathe, sleep, and everything in between. She is not the only one out there for you, that is just brain chemistry talking. You'll get over her, just give yourself some time. Now make sure you learn from this or you'll keep finding yourself in this situation. Remember you can't control people, especially those around you.

Posted
I've been in your shoes before. More than once. The pain seemed unbearable each time; and time is what it takes for the pain to go away. You need to let her go so you can heal. Just try to hang in there as they say, "one day at a time". Once you feel better you can look back on this and learn from it... if you try. Until then eat, breathe, sleep, and everything in between. She is not the only one out there for you, that is just brain chemistry talking. You'll get over her, just give yourself some time. Now make sure you learn from this or you'll keep finding yourself in this situation. Remember you can't control people, especially those around you.

 

Luscis speaks the truth. I've been there, and it really hurts and it really sucks and you really want her back for all the bad crap you've done.

 

But,

 

You have got to stick this one out, and you'll come to see that your emotions got the best of you and that you'll strive on.

 

Sorry that you're hurting. I know how much it can suck. Go cold turkey on contact (aka NONE) and stick this one out; you'll survive, and hopefully come out a wiser human being.

 

Best of luck to you, friend.

Posted

People want what they can't have.

 

Now, your situation is similar to mine. My ex kept hanging out with a guy she thought was attractive, even when I told her I was not comfortable with it, she ended up ignoring my phone call to hang out with him longer (though I didn't pester her and keep ringing) so I broke up with her, which was the correct decision since she started screwing him shortly after, which she would have done whether we were together or not.

 

Now, I haven't tried to contact her for close to two months now and guess what? She is trying to get back with me! Telling me this other guy means nothing to her, she misses me etc etc, but I have just not replied/responded to anything she has had to say. Now if I wanted her back I would have agreed to meet up and talk about us.

 

Trust me, you can't miss something that is always around. It will just give her the upper-hand and the control in the situation. She knows you are there waiting and she can go to you anytime she wants. However, you don't call her, don't sms her, don't do ANYTHING, NO CONTACT and she will realise you aren't on a leash and her mind will start wondering where you have gone.

 

You are going to get upset and think messaging her is the right thing to do, but DO NOT! You will just regret it. Honestly, I know it is hard, but you have got to stop contacting her, and if she calls you don't answer or respond. Wait a while.

 

Good luck.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks Everyone you all had great advice...im glad i can got on to the internet and talk to complete strangers about my past relationship, and get very good advice

 

 

thanks again everyone

 

 

 

 

...IM MOVING ON

 

(;-]

Posted

hi i am experiencing the same problem as u. but may i ask everyone here, if she is with the other guy, will she miss u since she has the other guy to accompany her and treat her well?

Posted
hi i am experiencing the same problem as u. but may i ask everyone here, if she is with the other guy, will she miss u since she has the other guy to accompany her and treat her well?

Who knows depends on how over the relationship she was already before she left you to be with him...

Posted

I have the exact same problem aswel except I broke it up and I really regret it now where I have the most painfullest feeling I have ever had inside my chest area. Probably the hardest feeling I ever had to deal with and I am only 17 years old and I still hurting as we speak.

 

My ex girlfriend recently kissed me and gave me a love bite but she thinks I went in for the kiss which is total crap. After over a month off cryin to her, naggin her and constant textin her and stuff, I am now goin to do the no contact approach to heal because this girl has messed my head up so many times. So I recommend you go to the gym get some anger out before it builds up and if you keep building it up, you will keep falling and it does hurt like hell.

 

Please impachi keep me updated and tell me how the no conact approach worked for you as I need help with it myself.

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