All This Talk About Women Aging....

[pollywag]

 

It makes me giggle that you think I have commitment issues, thanks for that. I guess I should have found a fat little 40 year old woman with 2 kids, 14 metric tons of emotional baggage and two anti-depressant scripts. And then married her. Last year.

 

Yeah right.

 

 

No not at all, clv. I do however think that since you have a revolvling door of young desirable women you would at least have the inlcination to pick one and not feel the need to drag out three relationships with three seperate women if one of them truly captured your heart, mind and soul.

[Kamille]

Here's a link to the actual study:

http://medicine.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request=get-document&doi=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000040&ct=1

[clv0116]

Love is a feeling clv, it's not to be thought about it is to be felt.

 

Hollywood BS.

 

 

I have a feeling, given the comment you made about "Hollywood romance" that you have never experienced true love.

 

Great, so now that you've completely solved my problems can we get back on topic? I see someone posted that link finally wherein we read:

 

"The offspring of older fathers show subtle impairments...."

 

"This study is the first to show that children of older fathers perform less well in a range of tests when young, but cannot say whether those children catch up with their peers after the age of 7 years. Results may also be biased because information was more likely to be missing for children whose father's age was not recorded."

 

They don't mention correcting, as far as I noticed on a quick scan, for children being Nth offspring. It's a well studied fact that the first child tends to have higher IQ scores and that scores decrease as sibling order increases. The IQ penalty for being the 3rd child is typically about 3 points. It stands to reason that the average age of the father of a 3rd child will be higher than the average age of the father of a first child.

 

In short, it's interesting and should be looked into more, but it's nowhere nearly as big a deal as a 50 year old woman having a 1 in 10 shot at conceiving a Downs kid, if she can conceive at all.

[Isolde]

 

In short, it's interesting and should be looked into more, but it's nowhere nearly as big a deal as a 50 year old woman having a 1 in 10 shot at conceiving a Downs kid, if she can conceive at all.

 

I don't think anyone on this thread mentioned 50 as a possible age for having children. The consensus cutoff seems to be 40 (still unacceptably high IMO, but far from the risk at 50).

[samspade]

Wow, there certainly is a lot of shaming on this thread.

 

You don't have to commit to anyone, and you can date as many people at once as you like. As long as you're not deceiving anyone and they understand you're not committed, it's your prerogative. Don't let anyone shame you for not committing or not knowing "true love" or having "commitment issues" or any of that b.s. You live your life the way you want. If that means dating one woman or 10, that's up to you.

 

A commitment issue is when one person wants to commit and the other doesn't.

[Cherished]

There are plenty of fat little women in their 20s with 2 kids on antidepressants with tons of emotional baggage.

 

I happen to be a slim 37 year old woman with no kids and no emotional baggage. I would date a man a couple years younger and a few years older.....basically a guy in my age range,which I am finding to be the case with most men.

[clv0116]

I don't think anyone on this thread mentioned 50 as a possible age for having children. The consensus cutoff seems to be 40 (still unacceptably high IMO, but far from the risk at 50).

 

The cited article didn't contain any actual facts, and my very fast search only found a single figure; the children of 50 year old men averaged 3 point lower IQ than the children of 20 year old men, thus I compared against what I had.

[clv0116]

I happen to be a slim 37 year old woman with no kids and no emotional baggage.

 

You always sound like you have a pretty big chip on your shoulder actually.

[clv0116]

Wow, there certainly is a lot of shaming on this thread.

 

Attempted shaming. I don't care about it, but nice of you to say so.

[sb129]

It may very well seem true from your perspective. I was inviting you to examine an option of thinking differently about it. IIRC, you're in your 20's (apologies if incorrect); I'm pondering, when you get to be that "older woman", what will decades of that thinking have brought you?

 

I'm an "older man" and see countless beautiful, worldly, articulate and sexy older women around me. I married one. Even though the M hasn't worked out, I still think she's an asset to the world and will join the ranks I speak of.

 

If anything, my life experience has shown me that women get better and more attractive as they age. If I was grounded in the superficial, I would have another perspective. So, anecdotally, "porn star bodies" are not required nor even prefered. Real woman bodies, minds and souls do just fine

 

What a great post in a sea of hostile, "he said, she said" finger pointing.

 

I agree with Carhill.

 

So much pointless anger. I love my mom. So does my dad, after all, he came back from the USMC and married the homecoming queen. Then they raised a family together and now they are retired and still in love..

 

My parents have been together for over 30 years, and I hope my H and I stay together as long as they do too. The sad thing is, my dad is now dying, and neither looks nor money will help that. but the love he and my mum have will be what gets them through at the moment.

 

As an aside, there was a woman in the UK a few years back who had

a baby at the age of 62.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Ahh...Carhill.. heart goes flutter flutter....

 

Men, take note!

 

My dad's friend has been married for 25 years. When I first met the man and his wife, in the 80's, they were all over each other. My dad said, they are newlyweds.

 

They live across the country. I saw them recently. They are still all over each other. They are in their 60's. I reminded my dad what he said way back when. He said, nothing's changed

 

She has more lines on her face, as does he. They are both still in love. So nice to see.

[Trialbyfire]

I missed Carhill's post in a sea of negativity. What a great post!

 

My Mom and Dad are in their sixties. They still look at each other like first loves and greatly enjoy each other's company. They've both aged with grace, instead of desperately clinging onto youth. Neither care about aging much, beyond the normal griping about what the body is capable of doing.

[Isolde]

I missed Carhill's post in a sea of negativity. What a great post!

 

My Mom and Dad are in their sixties. They still look at each other like first loves and greatly enjoy each other's company. They've both aged with grace, instead of desperately clinging onto youth. Neither care about aging much, beyond the normal griping about what the body is capable of doing.

 

Mine have been married for thirty years and their marriage actually keeps getting BETTER. Though there are characteristics and dynamics to their relationship I wouldn't want for my own (personal preference), I still look up to their tenacity through the tough times.

[JerseyShortie]

I think it would be behove all of us to focus more on a man like Carhill and Chicago Guy other then the guys that seem to be more negative towards women.

 

I wouldn't want to be 18, 25, 30 or 40 with a guy that looked at me as a loosing commodity and saw himself as infallable to nature itself. None of us are despite the posturing from a select few around here.

 

We should also factor in that way more studies has been done about an older woman's affect on babies. And not nearly as much has been done on older men's affect on babies. I suspect with time, more information will come about on how men also play their part. As we are starting to see with the article I referenced.

 

It takes two people to make a baby. So if you ask me it seems really unlogical to think that an older male, can't possibly have a negative effect on a baby in their older years. If it takes two to make a baby, then it takes two to make the good and the bad.

 

It is also very telling how there are very few men here that can directly talk about the information provided and rather talk circles around the subject and try to deter it to women.

 

I've talked to enough men in real life to know that most don't want to wait until they are 40 themselves before the start having familes. I don't think it's only women. Nature doesn't want old men or old women having babies. Period.

[Trialbyfire]

I dunno JS, as one of the older ladies, with an even older man, who's getting older with each second, who won't be having a baby for another 2 - 5 years, we plan to defy nature, multiply and prosper! :laugh:

[JerseyShortie]

Ha, well I hope you do Trial. Of course, youth can be relative. If God only wanted women to have children in their 20s, our cycles would end at 30. And there are many 20 year old women and men that have babies that might not be 100% healthy either.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

My friend met her husband at 37, got married at 40, and had beautiful, healthy, amazing twin girls at 42!!!

[Cherished]

You always sound like you have a pretty big chip on your shoulder actually.

 

Why do you say that? You're comment which assumes a 40 year old woman would be fat, have emotional baggage, and kids, shows you are the one with the huge chip.

[carhill]

My friend met her husband at 37, got married at 40, and had beautiful, healthy, amazing twin girls at 42!!!

Considering the generational and evolutionary differences, perhaps my parents were the 50's version of what you share, having married late and being 37 (mom) and 43 (dad) when the little kid on the tricycle was born. I'm still hopeful that perhaps evolution will smile upon me and give me that young mind to love, nurture and mold, even in my "old" age

[JerseyShortie]

I am sorry but I have to agree that I think Clv has some kind of chip on his shoulder for the kind of comments he makes about women. Especially that very mean spirited comment demeaning a 40 year old woman.

[Trialbyfire]

Ha, well I hope you do Trial. Of course, youth can be relative. If God only wanted women to have children in their 20s, our cycles would end at 30. And there are many 20 year old women and men that have babies that might not be 100% healthy either.

I'm not in the least bit worried. Both of us have always lived healthy lifestyles, no smoking or addictions beyond coffee, eating right and staying in shape. If we can't have them naturally, we'll adopt. Forget this surrogate mother nonsense. No big deal!

[sb129]

I dunno JS, as one of the older ladies, with an even older man, who's getting older with each second, who won't be having a baby for another 2 - 5 years, we plan to defy nature, multiply and prosper! :laugh:

 

Does that make me an older lady if I am in my 30s too?

 

Eek!

 

And here I was thinking I was a spring chicken.

I am having the compulsory downs syndrome ultrasound and blood test in a couple of weeks though- it's optional if you are under 30.

[Trialbyfire]

Does that make me an older lady if I am in my 30s too?

 

Eek!

 

And here I was thinking I was a spring chicken.

I am having the compulsory downs syndrome ultrasound and blood test in a couple of weeks though- it's optional if you are under 30.

Yes, we're both little old ladies who can't possibly reproduce! Oh wait, you're pregnant. Hold on, well that kind of blows the bullshyte out the back-end, now doesn't it?

 

The amnio is recommended for anyone 35 and older here. We have the right to refuse the test although when I do get pregnant, I will have it, for certain.

[clv0116]

Why do you say that? You're comment which assumes a 40 year old woman would be fat, have emotional baggage, and kids, shows you are the one with the huge chip.

 

The thing that really put a pin in it for me was when you took this discussion to a completely inappropriate place (thread regarding a dying celebrity) as if it were nothing. What we're having here is a simple discussion, getting emotionally invested in it is a strong indicator that some baggage is dragging you around.

 

As for fat, emotional baggage, and kids it's not true in all cases but it's the way to bet, in much the same way that the race is not always to the swift but it usually is.

[clv0116]

Does that make me an older lady if I am in my 30s too?

 

While being in your early to maybe mid 30s is fine for having kids it's not fine for starting to date in my opinion, if you want to have kids later. Is that a hard concept to understand?

 

If I dated someone 34, and in a year or two decided to get married, we're looking at her being 35 or 36. Add in 3-5 years of enjoying life together and she's 38 to 41. Then say she wants 2-3 kids .... she will be 41 to maybe 46 when the youngest comes along. So that's a span of from 7 to 12 years from the first date to last child. If we work it backwards and decide we want the last child to be born around her 35th birthday or sooner, she has to be from 23 to 28 years old on our first date, or younger.

 

That's precisely the age I'm going for, and it's not a random choice.