BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I'm just wondering if you are say in your 30's and a guy would 5-10 year older female that is WAY more sucessful than you, earns more, ultra-confident kind of manish but still not too unattractive be attractive to you? I guess I am asking if those traits are a turn on? I hope you know the type I'm talking about: very dominant, talks a lot but also passionate about her job... Would does traits be more attcractive than youth, beauty and kindness?
Woggle Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Some men are. I don't mind these type of women as long as they have beauty and kindness along with the drive. The two are not mutually exclusive but I am not ineterested in a heartless corporate shark but then again I would not want to be friends with a man like that. They are not interesting people to associate with.
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Is this a serious question?Dominant acting career women are a huge turn off. Usually they are in love with their career.. I would take youth, beauty, and kindness every day of the week.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 I'm being serious. Think Hilary Clinton for example. There IS some attraction and sexiness in being powerful, confident and dominating.
Woggle Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I'm being serious. Think Hilary Clinton for example. While I never was attracted to her I never had a problem with her like some men until the crap pulled during the democratic primaries.
Woggle Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I'm being serious. Think Hilary Clinton for example. There IS some attraction and sexiness in being powerful, confident and dominating. While I never was attracted to her I never had a problem with her like some men until the crap pulled during the democratic primaries. Also women are attracted to these traits in men but it usually doesn't work in reverse. If a woman can check that mentality at the door when she comes home fine but I see many women treating their relationships like it is another corporate task. I know this might sound sexist but men usually seem better at seperating their career life and their love life.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 While I never was attracted to her I never had a problem with her like some men until the crap pulled during the democratic primaries. Also women are attracted to these traits in men but it usually doesn't work in reverse. If a woman can check that mentality at the door when she comes home fine but I see many women treating their relationships like it is another corporate task. I know this might sound sexist but men usually seem better at seperating their career life and their love life. Thanks Woogle. Can I just ask you if your personality is more on the passive or assertive side?
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Well that's the difference between men and women.. Bill Clinton = most fantasized male on Earth amongst women when he was President. Poll after poll illustrated this. Hillary Clinton= I never met or heard one man say he would even have sex with her. You are asking about men in a general sort of way. So I do not see the point to mentioning tiny exceptions to the rule. Men do not care for older powerful women. They would much rather have a younger cute waitress that is kind with a nice body.
Woggle Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Thanks Woogle. Can I just ask you if your personality is more on the passive or assertive side? A little of both. I am generally a ladi back guy but I can get aggressive if provoked.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Well that's the difference between men and women.. Bill Clinton = most fantasized male on Earth amongst women when he was President. Poll after poll illustrated this. Hillary Clinton= I never met or heard one man say he would even have sex with her. And I thought I was being weird for having sexual thoughts about Bill Clinton...
Taramere Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 BEG, your opening post immediately made me think "this girl's in competition with an older woman." So I did a quick back check on your posts, and read through your "How do I deal with feelings for my married boss?" thread. Am I wrong in assuming that the women you've presented in somewhat unflattering terms is this one? I was supposed to work with this one particular female (that is on a trip with him) on a project and I found many silly reasons on why I don't want to. I even told him "I can't stand her". He was very diplomatic and said that "Lots of people don't like her" etc and did his best to accomadate me. You're absolutely bound to get responses from men that reassure you that the younger, prettier and kinder woman will win out over the masculine, dominating old cow. In your other thread, you say I'm very jelous when he talks to other semi-attractive female co-workers or even worse travels with them. I start instantly disliking them even if they are nice to me. I really worry that he will or is having an affair with someone other than me Rather than looking for validation that will support and fuel your infatuation for your married boss, you'd be far better served by taking your cue from the professional, kind and detached manner he now seems to be cultivating with you. It sounds as though the obsession has reached a point where you see all other women in the vicinity as being competition for this guy - when it could well be that they see him in nothing other than professional, friendly terms. Telling your boss that you can't stand women on his team can't possibly do you any good. For all you know, some of those other women may have picked up on your crush and discussed it with him. Badmouthing them to him will potentially highlight you as a very problematic worker who can't manage her feelings. You can tell me I'm off topic, of course - and in a superficial sense I am. On the other hand, I think your questions on this thread are leading ones designed to supply you with the kind of answers that will not be to your benefit in managing this infatuation.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Hi Taremere, Thanks for your post. My question was really more general as I have never liked those kinds of women and have in fact lost my ex bf to one of them. It seems like my boss likes a woman like that too but I might be wrong. I know that it doens't matter if 99 men in this thread say that they hate them if the 1 man I'm interested in doesn't. This really isn't about my boss, but from my experience men have prefered those kinds of women over me. This thread is only showing me that this is not a general trend and if I meet the next guy he might actually not like those traits in women.
blondesmiler Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 You are asking about men in a general sort of way. So I do not see the point to mentioning tiny exceptions to the rule. Men do not care for older powerful women. They would much rather have a younger cute waitress that is kind with a nice body. And you speak for all men do you? Kinda generalising alot there aren't you? OP ~ Some men will be def turned on and have an attraction to career women, some will not. If they were not then why would their be a dominatrix industry!!! Ok that is extreme but alot of men like a powerful, brainy woman, that looks good, takes care of herself and also can take care of herself and her needs and isn't dependent on a man for everything. Everybody in this world is different thats what makes it interesting (and frustrating )
Taramere Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 This really isn't about my boss, but from my experience men have prefered those kinds of women over me. This thread is only showing me that this is not a general trend and if I meet the next guy he might actually not like those traits in women. I think it's really difficult to take an objective view of women who you feel competitive towards. There can be a temptation to either overstate the qualities that you believe might attract men to them (in this case, the passion about work, the fact that they're assertive etc) or demonise them (eg regarding any assertiveness on their part as aggression etc). If you were to ask the men you know who have preferred women like this why they preferred them, it might transpire that they liked them for other reasons you hadn't considered. I can understand why you would want men to criticise certain traits in women if you feel that you've lost out in the past as a result of other women having those traits. It's a bit like brunettes whose boyfriends ditched them for blondes searching for evidence that men dislike blondes....and vice versa. It's ultimately a negative way of getting reassurance though....ie at the expense of other women. Hopefully you'll find a guy who likes you for the positive things you offer, and who makes you feel secure about those things without him having to resort to demean or invalidate other women in the process.
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Wow, another one sleeping with married older boss..
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Blondesmiler, Cat in your avatar is gorgeous.
Taramere Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Wow, another one sleeping with married older boss.. She isn't. She just has a crush on him that she's trying to manage.
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 "I'm very jelous when he talks to other semi-attractive female co-workers or even worse travels with them. I start instantly disliking them even if they are nice to me. I really worry that he will or is having an affair with someone other than me" Maybe you missed that part..
Taramere Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 "I'm very jelous when he talks to other semi-attractive female co-workers or even worse travels with them. I start instantly disliking them even if they are nice to me. I really worry that he will or is having an affair with someone other than me" Maybe you missed that part.. I'm kind of answering for BEG here - but no, I didn't miss that part. I quoted it. However, I also took the time to read her other thread which makes it very clear that this guy has not cheated on his wife with BEG.
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Ok, another woman WISHING her married older boss would sleep with her, lol..But by reading the quote, it sure sounds like they already have, especially if she is so jealous.
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Taramere is correct, I'm not sleeping with him, I have wrongly worded that part.
boxing123 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 This is such a completely strange thread. It is like asking "Are rich men attracted to old fat women?" I see what taramere is saying now... From the other thread.. "I know, talking to other females is the worst! It doesn't matter if they are over 50, married, worked together for years etc." But you are lucky you are a cute young female and even get away with this.. "I would often come to work and barely do a thing," "I have sent him few borderilne verbally abusive e-mails all disguised as work problems but with some pretty personal attacks on him. I have then accused him of forwarding those e-mails to his boss or HR (he would always re-assure me that he didn't and won't).
Author BlueEyedGirl Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Please post the advice on my "crush on the boss" in its separate thread.
socialight Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 >>I'm just wondering if you are say in your 30's and a guy would 5-10 year older female that is WAY more sucessful than you, earns more, ultra-confident kind of manish but still not too unattractive be attractive to you? The answer here is almost always going to be a resounding no.
clv0116 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 "Many women will prefer to share one winner over having a loser all to themselves." I'm just wondering if you are say in your 30's and a guy would 5-10 year older female that is WAY more sucessful than you, earns more, ultra-confident kind of manish but still not too unattractive be attractive to you? No. Not being afraid of work is a good trait but the rest don't do a thing for me, and I don't need the money. She'd probably be a great FWB though.
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