mendsley Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 After I have came to the conclusion that I must take the journey of finding myself, by myself, just last week, I was thinking and wondering, what is the most important things in life? I feel lost in life right now, I have no one, but my son and the world is wide open for me. I have always thought of success and money as the indicator of happiness but, I am realizing that is only a fallacy. I thought maybe love and relationships was another form of happiness but, statistically over half of all marriages will end in divorce and it is expected to increase and for every time you remarry it is even more of a percentage of divorce so I don't want that punishment again, especially with the odds stacked against me. I also thought religion would give me inner piece of knowing that I will end up in a better place if I life life by certain rules and expectations but, I cannot seem to accept it nor rationalize the thought of something that is not tangible. I am NOT putting religion down, I respect it and envy those who can live their life by it, I just have my own opinion. So maybe if someone can offer their thoughts on what they feel is the most important things in their life.
era Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I have always thought of success and money as the indicator of happiness but, I am realizing that is only a fallacy. Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves. That's a fundamental mistake. Happiness is something you are, and it comes from the way you think.
edgeof27 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 After I have came to the conclusion that I must take the journey of finding myself, by myself, just last week, I was thinking and wondering, what is the most important things in life? I feel lost in life right now, I have no one, but my son and the world is wide open for me. I have always thought of success and money as the indicator of happiness but, I am realizing that is only a fallacy. I thought maybe love and relationships was another form of happiness but, statistically over half of all marriages will end in divorce and it is expected to increase and for every time you remarry it is even more of a percentage of divorce so I don't want that punishment again, especially with the odds stacked against me. I also thought religion would give me inner piece of knowing that I will end up in a better place if I life life by certain rules and expectations but, I cannot seem to accept it nor rationalize the thought of something that is not tangible. I am NOT putting religion down, I respect it and envy those who can live their life by it, I just have my own opinion. So maybe if someone can offer their thoughts on what they feel is the most important things in their life. Well, it looks like it comes down to one word; "self", if the "self" is not "balanced", then no matter what we do, there will be "unbalance", take care of the "self" first, then proceed, g.
PWSX3 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I also thought religion would give me inner piece of knowing that I will end up in a better place if I life life by certain rules and expectations but, I cannot seem to accept it nor rationalize the thought of something that is not tangible. I am NOT putting religion down, I respect it and envy those who can live their life by it, I just have my own opinion. I also thought this way, but the more I get involved with small groups at the church the more I am learning & the better it is..... I am in a small men's group that meets every Saturday morning & they have been so helpful, then Sunday evening I meet with two other guys for bible studies & that is some good quality time with other men. It is hard for me to believe in something you can't see but the more I learn the more I understand..... In my divorce care class the one thing they say is; you have to put God in the center of your life & that is what I'm working on. I know everyone has there opinions & have there ways of dealing with things, but for me this is working. I am starting to see the difference...
Author mendsley Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I think religion is good because it gives people a goal, hope and sense of direction. I have tried it a few times in the last couple of months and I cannot seem to devote my full attention to it. I really have been trying hard to focus on other things in my life to help alleviate the pain the woman has caused and man it is tough. It seems every where I go I see something that brings back a memory of her and or something we have done together. Well I will keep struggling and try to move on, I know time will heal all wounds. One thing that bugs the hell out of me is, to her she does not give a rats ass about me or what she has brought onto our family. To be honest thinking about her and how she don't give a $hit does help, cause I think why the hell should I care if she does'nt.
imagine Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Mendsley, I believe that I had to be successful. Whether I was or not, it had no eternal consequences. We all die. This is how I learned that God's requirements were much more important than my own. Your wife was a very important component in your life. Catch is, not because of you, but because of God. Marriage requires faithfulness. She blew it by quitting. Anything else from YOUR part that may brought demise to the marriage - apologise. Do not rush into new relationships, your healing must take place first.
Author mendsley Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 I asked this question to see what else others might have to say and the truth is I do already know what the answer is for myself. I know that happiness is the answer, and it has to be happiness that I create for myself. I think, for some reason, it is probably taking longer than usual to get over from a blow lke this but, I have to say that talking about it really has and does help. I have set realistic goals for myself, some people may approach it differently, but I think the ideas I have set are the best approach.
TrustInYourself Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Amazing how life can turn upside down and we learn to adapt and overcome. “The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
quankanne Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 the most important thing in life is really two things, IMO: Love and respect, and they go hand-in-hand. Faith is also woven through there. I have tried it a few times in the last couple of months and I cannot seem to devote my full attention to it. faith is a gift that comes in its own good time, when we learn to give up self in order to make a place for The Big Guy .... What with all that's going on in your life (and your admission that success and money = happiness), your mind isn't quite ready to that place where you start emptying yourself or freeing yourself up for the Spirit to work in you. The good news is that there are endless opportunities to do just that, so don't ever worry or think that you've got a small window to work with, you know? meanwhile, know that we're here for you – I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing your marriage and your mate, but I honestly believe that God gives us the necessary graces to come back even better than before.
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