Viking Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I've been in a class with a girl who I've grown to like, and she's been flirty with me here recently. She broke up with her boyfriend on Feb. 19. So, fairly recently. What I want to know is how long do I allow her before I ask her out? I don't want to seem insensitive to her breakup, but I won't be having another class with her... Here's the dilemma...I told her about me having asked another girl out etc and that sort of thing. I don't want her to think I'm just jumping from "lillypad to lillypad" so to speak. I see her all the time out at the bar/dance club thing that I frequent always dancing with her friends (girls and one guy who she runs marathons with) and I dance with her sometimes, sometimes with other friends etc. Any advice on this? I think she knows I'm interested as I flirt back, and the other day, we were taking a break from class and standing outside watching people walk by and she was moving back and forth bumping into me with her hip. To me, that seems like something someone who's interested in someone else would do. Am I right? Thanks!
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Yeah, she sounds interested. If I were in her shoes, interested in you, and you had told me about asking another chick out, and you asked ME out next - I'd just assume things didn't work out with the other girl. Not that you were some crazy player, or something. You could make it a casual type thing - like out for coffee, or something. I would assume a quaint coffee shop would be easy to find on campus, there, somewhere. You could just suggest it after class, or maybe one time to meet up there before class. It's not a marriage proposal, so I'm not sure I see why a longer waiting period is required after her breaking up with her boyfriend - especially if she's flirting with YOU.
Author Viking Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 WHEW! Problem is that classes are over...and its finals week this next week. I was thinking about inviting her over/inviting myself to her house and making fish and chips (I've been craving them). She seems like a chill enough girl to think that it'd be cool, but I don't want to give off the whole, "Let's just be friends" sort of vibe. I guess I just get the self conscious thing about being called a player because I have a guy friend and a girl friend who both call me that because of the ease I have talking to girls, even if I don't know them, or getting their numbers etc. This girl I'm interested in had suggested two weeks ago that we meet up at a bar for dancing and to call her when I was on my way from my usual place. She asked me for my number...but ended up giving me hers and having me call her. I guess that was pretty straight forward eh? Another problem for me is that as of Friday, we're driving to California for a Spring Break road trip and I won't be back for over a week! I'd like to do something with her before I leave and before she's "moved on" so to speak. I don't want to waste an opportunity when one has so [blatantly] presented itself. She also doesn't have a car, so, dinner at her place would probably be fine unless that's more of a "hey, you're cool, but not cool enough to date" sorta deal. I want to avoid that with girls I'm interested in. I'd want to avoid the "you're second place" sort of thing too. Is that possible to do? If I've waited long enough since the last girl to ask this one out, would it seem more genuine and that I like her or would it still be a jumping from girl to girl thing?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 You should've expressed your interest directly, quite soon. Truth is that you owe nothing to the next random chap who happens across her and beats you to the punch. I suggest that you should've thrown caution to the wind and made yourself vulnerable to her potential rejection a couple of weeks after her break-up. Something tells me that she would have treasured your boldness, and your having made yourself CLEARLY vulnerable, so she wouldn't have to.
Author Viking Posted March 16, 2009 Author Posted March 16, 2009 You should've expressed your interest directly, quite soon. Truth is that you owe nothing to the next random chap who happens across her and beats you to the punch. I suggest that you should've thrown caution to the wind and made yourself vulnerable to her potential rejection a couple of weeks after her break-up. Something tells me that she would have treasured your boldness, and your having made yourself CLEARLY vulnerable, so she wouldn't have to. Sooooo...I called her earlier today and left a message, she called back...her and her BF got back together. Needless to say I'm kinda bummed, but whatever. I didn't know she had broken up with her BF until a few days ago when we were out on the town and I asked her if she was dating a classmate of ours and she said she had broken up with her BF. That's when she started to get all flirty etc. Needless to say, I got the wrong vibe. Well, I told her I wanted to take her to lunch as a study break, but since she was back with the old BF, she asked me what my intentions were and I told her that because I hadn't hung out with her that last Thursday I wanted to. Well, that was a little white lie, so I called her back to "clear the air" and tell her that I wanted to take her on a date. I feel better about that now. Plenty more fish waiting to be caught! That's how I guess you have to look at this sort of thing. Also, there's a new quarter coming up, so that means new GIRLS!
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