How does the dumper feel?

[ItsMe]

How does it feel to break someones heart? Like, I could understand that its never nice to do & I don't want to slate anyone for it, gotta do what you gotta do.

 

But if someones feelings change then why does the dumper have to heal? What are they healing over? Their feelings have changed & if they have to heal then surelyit was a mistake to break it off? :S

 

It'll be good to get some perspective from the other side

 

Thanks

[Tryng2Trust08]

Well, I will give you some insight on how the dumper feels, since I ultimately broke off the relationship with my ex--he broke up with me a few times also.

I wasn't losing feelings for him, I wanted things to change and they just werent.

He was trying, but I felt there was too much damage done to make things work out. I tried talking to him and he would get frustrated.

Im not sure I broke his heart, maybe I did, I dont know? I felt we both tried hard and things just weren't working out. To this day, Im feeling pretty badly, I miss him, but I know we arent right for each other. I wanted more from him that he didnt give me, I was always holding out hope and giving him the benefit of the doubt, so I have to heal now knowing we will never have anything between us. He broke my heart many times, so I got to the point where I couldnt take it anymore.

[Zeta4PhiSius]

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[EmperorR]

They feel in control, calm and cool and great at hiding emotions, lying through their teeth even though their feelings changed, dragging you along until their healed and are able to kick you to the curb without any regards for your emotion or the feelings you once shared.

[gwynieatpain]

But if someones feelings change then why does the dumper have to heal? What are they healing over? Their feelings have changed & if they have to heal then surelyit was a mistake to break it off? :S[\quote]

 

I have the same question sometimes. My ex mentioned on his break up email that even though he put on a happy face everyday, deep down it was hurt like hell. I thought it was totally BS, and what makes it a real BS is that months later I found out he cheated and slept around.

 

It hurts when you try looking for the answer.

 

When I was a dumper honestly there was no healing process involved. The decision was made long before the break up. However, I did try everything I could to save the relationship and did all the warnings before the actual break up talk. But then when thing was over, I felt relieved.

 

Every break up story is different though, we cannot generalizing or formulating it. I did know some people who made impulsive decision on break up and regretted it shortly after, and that they need healing.