ROAR Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Just would be nice to get this off my chest I guess. 6 months or so ago I moved to a new city for a new job. There were a load of people starting at the same time, all living very close to each other. I got to know one girl in particular very well. We got on very very well, but a couple of months into it she started to become more intentionally distant. Like she'd no longer invite me round when cooking but still invite the rest of the crowd. She stopped replying to txt messages etc. I asked her why a couple of times in a jokey way but would get disapproving looks and no answer. She'd reasonably religious (of the same faith as me) and won't do 'relationships' with men before marriage, but has also told me she wants to get to know someone really well before marriage... I know her friends really well... one of her housemates has invited me out for dinner twice in the past week (this girl was there both times). One of her very good college friends (who didn't know me before moving there) is my new landlord (we get on really well, train in the gym/cook/go out together). After a nice meal out last week her housemate invited me round for dessert. There she recounted a conversation she had which went something like... "ROAR's a nice guy isn't he... ;) ROAR's a very very nice guy... ;) Are you thinking what I'm thinking?! ;) ;)" Apparently this girl appeared quite embarrassed It seems like that was probably the event which triggered her trying to distance herself from me! Seeing that other people could see we might have something together. Now this pretty much sucks... as I do actually see her as a potential long term partner. A couple of months ago I moved away from the communal housing and in with her old college mate. At the end of this month I'll be moving back (was always planned to be just a few months)... Her friends (particularly her housemate) speak/txt me a LOT and invite me round all the time so I'll be pretty much unavoidable again. So I'm just thinking about how/whether I should try to take this forward? Or do I just give up on it?
LovieDove24 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 She'd reasonably religious (of the same faith as me) and won't do 'relationships' with men before marriage, but has also told me she wants to get to know someone really well before marriage... I of course have heard about not wanting to have SEX before marriage due to religion...but relationships in general? No way! What the hell is that about? It sounds like she decided to put her own 'spin' on things. You say she has mentioned marriage, well how does she expect to ever get married if she does not want to be in, associate with, or continue a relationship with anyone?! This is ludacris.
sb129 Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Talk to her. You can just be friends can't you? Loviedove is right, how on earth can you end up marrying someone if you don't have a relationship with them? It doesn't have to be a physical relationship for it to be a loving, committed one that can lead to marriage, but in order to get there you have to at least speak to eachother!!!
St. Nick Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I agree with the other two. Try to convince her that a relationship before marriage isn't wrong. If she's afraid of having sex before marriage then talk to her about that so there aren't any problems. She might be the one for you. Go for it.
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