wanthimbackwithme Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Don't know what to do! See my other threads please - going into major panic here - he walked out on me because of me shutting him out/pushing him away - when I saw him yesterday I told him I wouldn't call as he doesn't want to talk about whats happened. He said I don't mind you calling just don't bring any of it up - but now I have this huge panic in me that he's going to be thinking I'm shutting him out/pushing him away again - and I so am not. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh please someone answer me I'm so desperate. All day been wanting to call but knowing I shouldn't now I'm here and I don't know - I don't want too mess things up - I so want him back.
Author wanthimbackwithme Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Probably put another spanner in the works i ended up texting him. Just want him to know I'm still thinking about him n not ignoring him anymore. What do you think - now I feel I shouldn't have done it n I'm pushing him, i hate feeling like this - its crap.
playlislay Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 Im in the same postition, or should I say, WAS in the same position. My ex done something in the first two months of our relationship that caused me to misstrust him which then led me to pushing him away. I couldnt help it, I was still hurting. I dont know the full ins and outs of the relationship or why you done it, but you must realise how much it hurts them when you do such a thing. My now ex-boyfriend has pushed me out of his life and it hurts like hell. Its karma biting me in the butt! lol! I think you may have pushed him too far, maybe he will forgive you but you have obviously hurt him with all of this. I just wished I would have realised how much I was hurting him when I was pushing him away. But I couldnt. I could just selfishly think of my own pain without even taking into account on how this may effect him. Whats done is done, and as hard as it may sound, if he does get back with you then you are going to have to show him with all of your might that you can change and that you want to carry on being this better person not just for you, or for him, but for 'us'. If you love him that much then you will change, believe me, but thats if you get a chance to prove yourself. I wasnt lucky enough to get that chance, so I wish you all the best and I hope you get another shot. )
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 26, 2009 Posted March 26, 2009 I'll put a bit of my life story in.... Me and my boyfriend didn't get together in the most 'proper' of ways (he was in a 4 month relationship), as such we didn't begin with the greatest or most secure of foundations. I had a lot of hurt, confusion, pain and anger mixed in with the love I felt for him...and because these feelings at the time seemed incomprehensible and I felt entirely overwhelmed by them, I didn't try to communicate with him, I just pushed him away continuously. I wanted to see how far I could push him before he wouldn't come back. I wanted him to prove to me that he loved me enough to always come back. Now we are still together but still my reaction when i'm hurt is to push away rather than communicate because my own feelings seemed too overwhelming and too intimidating so it's easier to just avoid and lock yourself away in your own little bubble - except this begins hurting too. As you have the history of pushing away, YOU need to begin reaching out. It will make you feel vulnerable and take you out of your comfort zone. You will be the one facing rejection and someone pulling away from you, but it is essential that you do this.
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