Layla Posted October 9, 2003 Posted October 9, 2003 What are the signs that he is thinking about getting married to you? I have been with my boyfriend for 16 months, everything is perfect. He tells me he loves me and we have already moved in together. He is the best guy ever. How can I find out whether he is interested in marriage, kids and all that stuff. I ABSOLUTELY don't want to ask bluntly. Any signs?
moimeme Posted October 9, 2003 Posted October 9, 2003 I would hope that you would feel that you could be free and honest enough with your potential partner to be able to ask him outright.
jenny Posted October 9, 2003 Posted October 9, 2003 is he the type to get sketchy? hmm, ok, ive been engaged before, and it took me by surprise, but here were the signs as reported by him: the biggest one: *mention of long term plans - as in 'what kind of house do you want,' long term travel plans, and shared delight in mutual world views concerning kids and money. a crass one: *considerable investment in the relationship in terms of time and money a sweet one: * the ability to share even god-awful penniless times together cheerfully the normal one: introduced me to his friends and family, i liked them, but not too much as to be intrusive. best of luck baby! what makes you think he is thinking of it??
Author Layla Posted October 9, 2003 Author Posted October 9, 2003 Hi Jenny! Thanks so much for your kind answer. This is what I wrote earlier today. Hope you won't fall asleep reading it :-( Am I too "poor" for him? Post: 1 | Quote: Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months now and everything seems really perfect. He tells me how much he loves me, I had to meet his family and dearest friends pretty much at the beginning. He asked me to move in with him after three months although he had never lived with a woman before and he says I am the best thing that ever happened to him. He really really makes me happy! Whenever I meet his oldest and dearest friends and he doesn't listen they say they have never seen him like this and that they are really happy for us. Also, I found a letter from a friend of his saying:" the money is on you to crumple next". So far, so good. Then again he has NEVER brought up marriage or kids at all! I assumed it is because he has been very busy but also very successful in his job, is currently building a house and there is just generally happening a lot in his life. And Girls adore him, which sucks! I mean yes, he may enjoy hanging out with me and I guess his love for me is real, but what would be the signs that he intends to one day ask me to marry him?? My opinion is that if he loved me as much as he and his friends say, shouldn't he know after 15 months that I am the woman of his life? Why has he never brought it up? Do I need to be patient? Of course I would never bring it up as I believe it's a job's guy. Who has got experience in being proposed to? OR(!!!!)..... doesn't he propose because we are very different?? He comes from an EXTREMELY rich background and so do all his friends. They all went to the most expensive private schools and then to very good universities. So did I, but thanks to sitting tough exams and scholarships as I was always among the 5 top percent of the class. I have a good job now, which I love because it is very challenging (money is all right). But still, my parents are so lovely but simply have practically no money to spend on me. I have been to a few weddings of my boyfriend's friends and they were unbelievable. Do you guys believe that a girl's background (moneywise) matters? I mean, I am a hard worker and thanks to my excellent education will probably always do well. But there will never be any support from my home! What do you reckon guys? Thanks
jenny Posted October 9, 2003 Posted October 9, 2003 aww..you guys sound like a great match actually - and kudos to you for working so hard! you deserve the best!all signs sound like they are pointing towards eventual marriage, but it's a tricky subject, ey? first, i don't understand this: "Also, I found a letter from a friend of his saying:" the money is on you to crumple next"." here are a couple of questions for you: *does he talk about the long term, even in passing - as in what kid of * would you want, where would you want to live? *is he at all the type to be classist? has he ever said or done anything to make you think class might be a problem? *what does he say when marriage is brought up incidentally? like, if a friend gets married, or its on TV or something. *how old are you both? it can make a difference, i guess. but look at what a great catch you are regardless if you were 'to the manner born'! you have a life, a good job, you're straightforward but strategic, a hard worker, you love your parents, and you care a great deal about him. make sure *you* want to marry *him* i think most guys would appreciate a girl who wanted a reasonable wedding - so many people focus on the wedding and not the marriage...it's easy to find people who are spolied; character is more rare and ergo more precious. cheers j
Author Layla Posted October 10, 2003 Author Posted October 10, 2003 Yeah, I guess we do spend a great time together. And people (even people we don't know comment on how those vibes just can't be overseen) It would just be so painful to know that he loves me for who I am but then eventually runs because one of those very very spoilt girls would just be easier and a better investment and fit his future plans better. To answer your question: He did mention babies a few times at the beginning saying:"Hmm, we'll have to stop trying" when we saw on or things like those. I forgot to take the pill once, running to the doctor to get the "After Pill". He said: "Silly, I wouldn't mind". He hasn't brought up any of those comments for many months now. Every morning when we wake up he tells me "You are so lovely", or "You make me so happy". He does a lot of things for me without me asking. And also asked me about my opinion on the house he is building etc. When he goes on a business trip, he either wants me with him (although I am usually the only girlfriend/wife there) or he keeps sending me text messages telling me how it physically hurts him not beeing able to see and touch me and spending time with me. (Luckily business trips are becoming rarer and rarer). As you can see, after 15 months, we are still in that "crazy in love stage" with great sex and lots and lots of LAUGHING and smiling! And then we meet his friends who seem to adore me for the fact that I speak five languages and am great fun but on the other hand all drive Ferraris, have houses all over the world and get married in at least two places with around 2000 people participating, drinking the most expensive Champagne etc. all covered by Daddy, who doesn't mind to spoil their kid a bit. And I just think: will he really never miss that?? Because obviously, even if he isn't poor, he could afford more with a filthy rich girl from a powerful background. I also don't have a daddy who can help him "progress" in his job, if you guys kmow what I mean? So, as a Conclusion. It would tear my heart apart to know that I have found someone so great who loves me more than anyone before me (he said I was the most important person in his life!) but then gets scared as he would have to give up part of that extraordinary lifestyle he has had so far.
Author Layla Posted October 10, 2003 Author Posted October 10, 2003 Hi Jenny No, I don't think he is a classist. he is 31 and I am 28 years old.
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