girlcrazy Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Hi, Im new here on this board and its just what ive been needing. Im a 35yr old, male, single, never married, etc. About two months ago i met a wonderful woman at a restaraunt, her name is Suzy. Suzy is 32 yrs old and has an an infant baby girl which is the result of a relationship that she started two years ago with someone who is in this country illegally. Since I met her a few months ago she has expressed to me that she is unhappy with her relationship for such reasons as: 'he sells coke', 'he sometimes doesnt come home until 6am', 'he calls me a bitch and ugly', and most recently and for supposedly the first time 'he put his hands on me, on my face and wouldnt let go'. etc. etc. Ive seen unsatisfying and abusive relationships much worse than this one appears to be, at least from my perspective, and those relationships dragged on for years many still drag on today. Imagine waking up in the same bed as your partner and then walking to the courthouse with him/her only to testify against the each other once they got there! Thats an extreme example but its a true stroy never-the-less. In comparison, Suzy's relationship with the baby's father isnt anywhere near as bad as some of the other troubled relationships ive seen. However at the same time Suzy has taken a few positive baby steps towards ending the relationship, but she still doesnt have me convinced that she is seriously committed to ending her current relationship just yet. Yesterday she had the locks on her apartment door changed, however, its really pointless if she lets him into the apartment when he knocks on the door late at nite drunk, and I suspect she is doing just that. He pays for various expenses related to her and the baby and she has no way of picking up these bills if he leaves. They are NOT married so I dont know what else she could do to make him leave but at the same time force him to continue paying the baby bills. I said she should just tell him that he will lose all visitation rights unless he continues to buy diapers etc. and she said that she didnt believe that would bother him one bit, I find it hard to believe but I guess those kinds of people do exist and he may be one. I like her very much and I believe she likes me but I cannot afford to pay all the bills relating to the babys needs, I literally dont have that kind of money, but if I did I would certainly help her to pay the bills. I know its got to be a big step for her, and im in no way pressuring her but it seems that this is what she wants too. It was her idea to change the locks.. and it was her idea to tell him to take his stuff and move out. but how and what is it really going to take before she becomes serious about ending her relationship and staying committed to her convictions? and then what can she do when she is serious and how to go about it? thx in advance
Beautiful Inside Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 even if she did leave him or make him leave would she have money for a place to stay or to pay for rent herself?...
Author girlcrazy Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 she lives basically rent free thanks to section8 housing assistance.. he is not even supposed to be there, as a matter of fact, if she really decides to make up her mind that is her out right there. she just tells him that they did their bi-annual inspection and found some of his clothes and are forcing her to make him leave. in a new twist today she told me that he offered to give her his paycheck from his legit job as a chef every two weeks if she lets him stay there. im afraid this is going to turn into one of those long dragged out relationships that doesnt end quickly or nicely.. and im not getting involved in any affairs so.. im just gonna make that clear to her tonite -peace
Beautiful Inside Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 wow thats no good you cant have an ex living with you cause of money u know...it will always be an issue about him being there....
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