Not the love ace Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I was just thinking, if me and my ex (say 2-3 months from now) get together just to hang out after a while of No-contact (right now its only been two weeks and its killing me) will it be alright to explain how much she hurt me? I'm sure some people are aware of my situation with her, but in the end she pretty much lead me on and played me. I still have so much love from her, and supposedly from her end she still loves me a ton as well. The last time we spoke we got things cleared out, but I don't think I was really able to get through to her due to the fact that we were on the phone, plus I just wanted the arguments to stop and I think that was my downfall for not really sticking to her. I also got the impression that she thought everything was "all good". I'm not trying to hold a grudge but I just really want her to understand me and feel me, just like anyone would. I also went no contact (as mentioned above) because I was too hurt and mad to speak to her, and pretty much still am. The first time I ever had these feelings. However, in person I think it'll be more personal but I just don't want it to seem like I'm clinging onto the past. At the same time I want her to fully understand how much she truly hurt me and that everything she did wasn't okay. That's all I want her to know. Because she knows I wouldn't hurt her like that. I'm not sure what to do. I mean I know there's people (not even couple wise) who bring up subjects from the past (talking about years sometimes) to try and patch things up and reconcile. So, will it be alright on my part? Anyone has any experience in this area? Please share your thoughts and opinions. Thank you.
griffy Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 From my experience, she won't want to hear it. Who wants to hear they've hurt someone, especially someone from their past who they don't think they've hurt, someone they're done with and have moved on from? Often people who hurt others didn't care about them in the first place and therefore don't want to be burdened with what they've done. It will probably annoy her and make you seem like you can't let go of the past. She may actually deny she did anything wrong and try to make it your fault somehow. (This is what happened to me when I confronted an ex months later and he basically thought I was delusional and still in love with him. I regret doing it to this day!) I know it's hard to get over the pain another has caused, and we think that if they just understood what they've done they will say all the right things to make us feel better. In reality, no one can make us feel better. We have to do it for ourselves. I think right now you're looking for a solution to make your pain go away and you're looking to the person who caused the pain, hoping they can make it go away. I advise against talking to her. She may make you feel worse (my ex did). Work on getting over the hurt on your own so months from now you don't want to talk to her at all. That's what I wish I had done!
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