griffy Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I feel like I'm in high school asking this question (and I'm not!), but should I call a guy who said he would call me and hasn't? We met randomly one evening and realized we knew some of the same people. We had a lot of fun talking--in fact it was one of the best conversations I've had in a long time. He asked for my number (I got his as well). He said he would call, but it's been a week and nothing. I feel like if he was actually interested, if he felt like our meeting was as great as I did he would call. Why did he ask for my number, say he was going to call, and not call? Should I call him or just forget about it? I know, I'm being silly. Normally, I wouldn't care, but I think I could really like him!
Girlygirl1977 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 In my experience, if he were interested he would have called by now. You should take him at face value. He said he would call and he seemed interested but quite a bit of time has passed and he hasn't followed up. If curiosity is killing you, call him but my bet is well sorry to be trite: "he's not that into you".
D-Lish Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I feel like if he was actually interested, if he felt like our meeting was as great as I did he would call. I'd trust your instincts. It's something as human beings that we routinely ignore. It's only been a week- he may or may not call. But you are right- if he is genuinely interested, he would/will call you. And he did say he would call you... so it's up to him to follow through on that promise. If he chooses not to call, I wouldn't go chasing.
zhsoj Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I don't think I will ever understand this double standard. If the roles were reversed all of the advice would be "what do you have to lose"... I say if it's something you want, go for it. Sure you have to put yourself out there. You will only live once.
Author griffy Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 I don't think I will ever understand this double standard. If the roles were reversed all of the advice would be "what do you have to lose"... I say if it's something you want, go for it. Sure you have to put yourself out there. You will only live once. My question arises from the fact that HE asked for my number and HE said he would call. Since he hasn't called I feel like he must of had second thoughts or got a better offer. (I know I'm probably over-analyzing this!) Also, in the past I have been known to chase men who weren't all that interested and I don't want to make that mistake again. It was like that with my ex--he told me in the beginning he wasn't interested in a relationship and I became determined to win him over. We ended up together for 3 tumultuous years and I'm scared of making that mistake again. Maybe I'll call if I have nothing to do one night and want a friend to hang out with. I definitely need to stop thinking about it!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 If he does call, it will be more meaningful. If you call him, you won't know if he is really interested or just being nice.
jenniferlm Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 another great example of someone who just leaves someone hanging. He probably just changed his mind, or decided for whatever reason, he no longer wanted to go out. Well, he may or may not be interested, I guess if you don't call you'll never know. Just because you call someone doesn't mean you have to start chasing him either. He could be just shy? I don't know him so I don't know...but you could send a text or email to break the ice. Tell him you thought you'd just drop him a line to say hello and that you hoped he was having a great week. And leave it at that. He can either call or text/email back at that point and let you know he's IS or is NOT interested...or he could just do what so many do...and ignore the effort...which is another way of letting you know he's not interested. If it were me, I'd drop him a short note. What have you got to lose? But don't "chase" him, or try to change him, or be there if it seems like you're always the one who is putting in all the effort...
openbook08 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 i wouldnt call. i have no idea why guys ask for numbers if theyve no intention to call!! i mean dont flatter yourself, if you dont ask for my no. im not gonna go home & cry into my pillow cos ya didnt! happened to me recently, he asked for my no, texted me 5mins after he had left... i text him the next evening, exchanged a few messages and NOTHING since!! mind you ive seen him once or twice since and he looks so green when all his friends are over chattin me & my friends up and he just looks like a tool lurkin in the background. i wish hed get over himself & just join in. not every flirtation/text/call/kiss turns into a rship. i can handle that. sheeeesh he makes me laugh!! i was with someone i truly loved & cared for, for 5years...unfortunately there was no1 to care for me. im not making that mistake again. im waiting for the one wholl show me im truly worth the effort. cos i am!! theres no games/double standards about it. so im with cherry on this! good luck whatever you decide!!
yeex Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 what the hell is the big deal? Just call him and if he does not call back then move on.
Author griffy Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 So last night I run into no call guy. He seemed excited to see me. He said he's been really busy with work and hasn't had a chance to call. Then he said he would call me after April 2nd when he gets a break from work. The hopeful part of me says it's actually a good thing to wait if he feels like he's too busy right now to devote time to dating. BUT, he devotes plenty of time to drinking, as his friend last night let it slip that they come to the place I saw them about 4 times a week! Why do I also like the ones who aren't that into to me?!
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 With regard to your first post - yes, you should've called him. (in 2009 people just don't let 'possibilities' fall through the cracks when there is so much technology which can help. Save the concern you were originally trying to have for women/girls who GIVE their phone numbers without getting one in return (of course THEY don't have the option to call). The second post suggests that you know where to find the guy in order to determine whether he really does have any interest in you. In a perfect world, by April 2, you might already have a new muse.
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