foster21 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I have this mental block I can't get rid of every time I try to have sex. The result is that I can't get a hard on and I disappoint the other person. How do I get rid of this mental block? I know it's not ED because I can masturbate just fine and get morning glory. Please, I need someone to walk me through this mental process so I can be a man.
fishtaco Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I've heard on loveline, Dr. Drew said that sometimes when you masturbate too much, you condition your brain to think that's the way to get off. So when you do have sex, it's different enough that your body won't respond. Assuming you don't have other deep seated mental issues, his advice was to stop masturbating. I assume this means that you'll get really horny, to the point where you don't care that this is not what you're used to, you just go anyway. Then once you break through I think you'll get back to normal. But I don't know, just what I heard on the radio. If you can afford it, maybe get a professional opinion from a therapist or something?
chrislovestosurf Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I have this mental block I can't get rid of every time I try to have sex. The result is that I can't get a hard on and I disappoint the other person. How do I get rid of this mental block? I know it's not ED because I can masturbate just fine and get morning glory. Please, I need someone to walk me through this mental process so I can be a man. Isnt arousal enough to get a hard on? Are you scared of something? Whats the mental block what do you think of when you are about to do the deed. you need to be more specific.
Girlygirl1977 Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Layoff the masturbation for a bit. . . you may be too conditioned to it.
RecordProducer Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I have this mental block I can't get rid of every time I try to have sex. The result is that I can't get a hard on and I disappoint the other person. How do I get rid of this mental block? I know it's not ED because I can masturbate just fine and get morning glory. Please, I need someone to walk me through this mental process so I can be a man. I think you need a spontaneous situation. Mabe sleep with someone all night, while holding them and cuddling with them, before you have sex? You need to feel 100% comfortable, secure, natural, and confident. Another thing: when you masturbate, do you watch/fantasize about the same thing as what you do in reality? Who is your object of sexual attraction, men or women?
Author foster21 Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 Isnt arousal enough to get a hard on? Are you scared of something? Whats the mental block what do you think of when you are about to do the deed. you need to be more specific. Thanks for trying to help me out guys. It's really stupid because what I am afraid of is not getting a hard on and not being able to please her. And the more I think about that, the more I can't get a hard on - it's a never ending cycle. It's like, I need to get a hard on, then I focus on getting a hard on, but don't get one, so I keep on thinking about it, etc... I think you need a spontaneous situation. Mabe sleep with someone all night, while holding them and cuddling with them, before you have sex? You need to feel 100% comfortable, secure, natural, and confident. Another thing: when you masturbate, do you watch/fantasize about the same thing as what you do in reality? Who is your object of sexual attraction, men or women? I masturbate to women, I'm interested in women, and I try to sleep with women. I have no question about my sexual orientation - I don't know, I just feel a huge pressure for me to get a hard on, and then it doesn't happen.
RecordProducer Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I masturbate to women, I'm interested in women, and I try to sleep with women. I have no question about my sexual orientation - I don't know, I just feel a huge pressure for me to get a hard on, and then it doesn't happen.Maybe the women you masturbate on are far more attractive than the ones you're dating? Or maybe you don't get in situations that are exciting enough with the real ones? Maybe all you need to do is find the right woman and create an exciting situation? Have you tried to be a bit buzzed the first time? I for example, never feel comfortable enough the first time, unless I am buzzed.
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