sinkerswim Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 You all probably know what I mean by this... Nothing seems the same without them by your side... You don't look at the sky the same anymore.. just life around you... things are just different. Things you have shared together for so long and loved sharing together. I just feel so sad. He is in another state and I feel so far away and so alone without him. I wish I was still there..maybe we could still see each other then. (for those who dont know my story... I was doing an LDR with him for 2.5 years and then moved to Illinois to live with him...we had our lives planned etc... in December..he wasn't happy anymore with things....and he wanted to end it before it got worse for him.....I had to move all the way back to PA due to financial reasons..as I could not support myself...We ended on good terms.. many heart to heart talks...no fighting..etc and especially many tears.) Anyway... when does that feeling go away? that feeling that EVERYTHING you look at..reminds you of them and all you shared together? We had soo many wonderful times together.. God..I miss him more than anything in this world and would do ANYTHING for it to go back to the way it used to be. I miss my life with him.
kizik Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Hi there, I know exactly how you feel. Please just know that with time, those constant reminders will bring less and less pain, until you can smile at them and think, "Those were good times, but I've moved on." Best of luck. Josh
Author sinkerswim Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 But I forgot to mention we were together for 4 years total.
kizik Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 OK... same deal... I was with my ex for three years, and a lot of stuff reminds me of her. But I think, good riddance, you f*cked up, I was right, no big deal. Someone else will appreciate me in every way she did not.
Biker2007 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Sinkerswim, Kizik's words are pretty much spot on...You have to keep making the effort to find the bright side out of each day as difficult as that may seem a times. I have had 2 instances in my life such as you described. Nothing mattered to me. My friends, my job, activities I normally enjoyed. I isolated myself for a bit and that may have been good for a short period, but I wallowed a little too long in my own self pity. If you can spend time w/ close friends and do some fun activities that you normally don't participate in, you will think a little less about the past. As cliche as these words are, time will help minimize your pain. It may never go away entirely, but you will eventually start to feel better once you get out and start having a little fun. The moment when I knew I was turning a corner is when I noticed how beautiful a particularly sunny day was...for the longest time every day seemed quite gloomy, but that changed. I was the one that changed that perspective. Give yourself time as there is no specified time limit for healing, but don't lose hope...things will get better. Also, put any physical reminders or keepsakes in a box or throw them way, so that you don't have any constant reminders of the ex. Keep writing here as we have all been there before. Best of luck!
lonelygurl Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I don't know when we start to feel better. It has been three months for me and I'm not any better. I can't stop thinking about him almost to the point of obsession. I just started trying to read two books about break ups and I hope they will help. Unfortunately, I am also dealing with severe anxiety disorders and depression, with medication changes. So that is adding to the pool of problems. I wish the pain would end. I still cry everyday to the point of almost vomiting. I miss him so much. It is like I am stuck and can't get past it. I was with my X a total of just over 7 years and this is the second time he dumped me. The second time around has be far more painful than the first. and I know the first time I still wasn't healed after six months, and I also wasn't dealing with all my disorders at the time. Try to do some reading and keep busy as best you can and hope like people say that time will lessen the pain. That is all we can hope for.
Author sinkerswim Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 Thanks for the responses, you guys. What makes this even harder is being 900 miles away from him. I miss him and where we lived...it is VERY hard to cope. I cried so hard today... every morning I wake up shaking and thinking. I started taking an anti depressant..so hopefully soon it will start helping. I do know he misses me and still loves me (as he tells me this) but why cant that be enough in our lives?? I just want him to tell me that he wants me back. I was a good girlfriend to him... I HATE That my dreams were shattered... We shared soooo many good times and he knows this. I hate facing life without him. I hate not having my partner to talk to everyday and come home to. I miss him and I feel like I do not want anyone else in my life. I thought he was my soul mate.
PinkToes Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I'm sure it doesn't help if he's still telling you he loves you and misses you. Why are you still in contact? It's awfully difficult to heal your heart if you're ripping off the bandage every time the phone rings. I do know it's painful, I'm still hurting too, but NC is really the only way forward. I hope you feel better soon.
Beautiful Inside Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 omg i know exactly how you feel love ive been going through the same thing everyday now i feel like i have convinced my bf to b with me i feel like he's just not the same with me anymore but i cant let him go cus ive tried and everything your posted was exactly how i felt i felt like i was slowly dying inside i didnt want to go out party or socialize i just wanted to die! honestly my life felt empty without my life partner....u deff dont look at things the same everything goes by so slowly and your all alone its not enjoyable to do lilttle things you use to love like the gym or going to get food late at night or watching certain tv shows or movies etc.... y does it have to be like this why couldn't life be easier.... im hanging on by a very thin thread with my bf and i dont know how long it'll last but i know how you feel love and i wish you the best and i hope things get better for you.
gwynieatpain Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 What makes this even harder is being 900 miles away from him. I miss him and where we lived...it is VERY hard to cope. I cried so hard today... every morning I wake up shaking and thinking. I started taking an anti depressant..so hopefully soon it will start helping. I do know he misses me and still loves me (as he tells me this) but why cant that be enough in our lives?? I just want him to tell me that he wants me back. I was a good girlfriend to him... I HATE That my dreams were shattered... We shared soooo many good times and he knows this. I hate facing life without him. I hate not having my partner to talk to everyday and come home to. I miss him and I feel like I do not want anyone else in my life. I thought he was my soul mate. I'm sorry to hear this. Though things are over, it ended on good terms. I thought it was the end of the world during the break up 5 months ago, now I'm happy again. Take it day by day, you will feel better very soon. Take care.
EmperorR Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Soon days will turn to weeks and weeks to months and you won't be constantly reminded of this and start a new exciting life trust me:)
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