nadya Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 here we go..i met rudi on a cell phone chat site about three years ago,and though at that time i was a rebel, didnt believe in love and only went online to mock ppl,we hit it off imediatly(please excuse my spelling as i am afrikaans). We did the long distance thing for about 5 months then he actually got on a plane to meet me,we were happy.sssooo happy.after that it got harder to be away from him and i sold my car,quit my job and went to live with him,his mom,2 bro's 3 dogs and 2 cats...i really wasnt happy mosly because of his family and how differwent they were,plus the animals in the house and the cat pissed on my stuff.i simply became a rag for them and that put allot of strain on our relationship.after a year and a half of living together we decided that i need my friends(as i did not make new ones coz we never went out)and my family,and i am not happy, but we will still try long distance again.it was very emotional.4 days after arriving home i found out i am pregnant,obviously a big shock.6 days after that he broke up with me.i was in a state of f*^$#& going crazy. i tried to let it go.he came down for the 1st ultrasound and could not keep his hands of me,and told me he wants a relationship so we made love and and and,then the day before he left he told me he cant do long distance?wtf i mean really? He came again for the holiday,and spoilt me rotten,and we decided that we do love each other and want to be together against all odds. if i have to count my tears i cried alone at night,all the hormones,the fact that i cant share my pregnancy with him,all the dreams of him cheating even though he simply is not a womanizer,but then again who knows.they do party allot.i dont know what to do,he becomes very quiet and then he almost souns depressed when he talks to me.HELP!!!as i am not turning far from depression.im in my last month of pregnancy,and the stress is really heating up.what to do!!!!!!!!!!
Nicodaemos Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I accept that dare, because while im a guy, and cant be in you direct position, my friend is in your exact position. Last month of her pregnancy, unplanned, not married, guy not around, and goes back and forth on the relationship issue. you wouldnt be the first, or the last, single mother. He is you kryptonite, your weakness it would seem. Not to demean your situation, it is a tragic one, being that a month from now, there will be another life in this world, and that life demands that it be treated well, so that when you are old, you can hold you head high, and say, yea, i made some choices, mightve even called em mistakes then. But, I wouldnt call em that now. done right fine by me. and yer spelling is fine. I typically dont worry about mine on most informal things like this. sall good. So, with the child so close, its time, past time, for you two to either step up, and become a good, loving caring family for that child, or drop it now, and find the best possible way it can grow happy, and healthy. Dont ruin anothers life for the choices that you two made. Its a life change for all involved, but great good can come from it. Embrace it.
Ocean-Blue Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 He's likely as confused as you are. Who said he had to know exactly what to be and what he wants? You have to decide if you're willing to put up with his back and forth behaviour.
Katherineos123 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I agree with Nico in that a choice must be made. This child is coming... that is not a choice. And he or she deserves to be raised in a loving environment, and unfortunately, that might mean that this relationship between you and him *in a romantic sense* needs to end. Of course the father has a right to, and should be, a part of this baby's life, but that doesnt mean that he has a right to be your lover. You DO have a choice about that. If he isnt treating you well, and you dont feel as though you are being treated respectfully, then maybe its not the right time for you two.
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