DarkPast Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I'm 21 & never had an intimate relationship with anyone. The main reason is my past. Now, I'm no Casanova, but I'm not completely socially retarded either. Just a regular guy. I have no problem talking to women, flirting with them etc. I've had women interested, & I've been very interested in them... but I can't let them in to my world. I don't want them finding out about me, because I hate what there is to find out.... For starters, I had erectile dysfunction for many years... as a teen dealing with this left me shattered. I can have & enjoy sex now since I've had surgery, but I'm very sensitive about it...because during that phase I did a lot of things I regretted. I ****ed, or atleast attempted to **** countless prostitutes. I was confused & frustrated, I was unable to orgasm & wanted to try experience pleasure but I couldn't because my dick wasn't working...I became more & more insecure, & started to hate my body/face & had plastic surgery which I really regret, & am humiliated over...I'd pick fights with people, I was an aggressive jerk....all because I didn't feel like a normal man, I felt like a failure on the most basic level of existence. This is a lot of stuff to deal with, & any girl in her right mind would run from someone with so many skeletons in the closet. Question is, do other people keep secrets in their relationships about their past? Do I owe it to the woman to divulge this information, or is it really up to what I'm comfortable with? I think it's best kept between me & my psychiatrist....but then again If I'm with someone I really like, I hate feeling like I'm hiding all the time. P.S this post is about a serious relationship, not just a fling which I have no problem with since I don't feel it nessecary to reveal myself. Serious responses only please....
Nicodaemos Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 You had some issues, everyone does. Yea, yours are tied to a subject that is very commonly an extremely sensitive one for guys, but you overcame. Its alot easier here to tell all, you are just an anonymous collection of words, nobody really knows you, and it kinda feels good to release dont it? Make sure she understands, its a major issue with you, and that you dont take it lightly. tell her that in issues of intimacy, you are very sensitive, and need her understanding, and patience. It may not be a big deal to some, but its a major deal for you. The hookers, not a big deal. its just a service that people render. You paid for services, but werent fulfilled. You arent the only one, and have a very large amount of people that feel the way you do. I have issues there too, dont last long typically. can go from reading a boring book, to doin the act, and finishing in less than a minute if im not careful. I also never had any satisfaction afterward. always seemed dull, and just, i dunno, not. I dont think you are giving yourself, or women, enough credit. You came through you issues, and cleared them out. yea, your still touchy about them, but you havent had the temper of time to lessen the amount they affect you yet. Yea, a woman may be put off by it, but it also depends on the person you are with. About keeping the skeletons hidden, no, i dont think its a good idea, they seem to have a habit of being found at the worst possible times, other times, they are revealed, or found, so late in life that they seem insignifigant. It depends on you and her. Other than what i type above, i really dont know. Good luck.
rlindzie Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 the hooker thing you have to tell her so she can be aware or the risk she will be taking having sex with you. do not hind that from anyone, they need all the info so they can make make an educated decison about weather or not to date you. the ED is not so much of an issue but the anger and lack of self control is a huge issue. i hate to saythat but im just being honest.
Author DarkPast Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 the hooker thing you have to tell her so she can be aware or the risk she will be taking having sex with you. do not hind that from anyone, they need all the info so they can make make an educated decison about weather or not to date you. the ED is not so much of an issue but the anger and lack of self control is a huge issue. i hate to saythat but im just being honest. Hi, I appreciate your honesty. However I think wanting to know about the hooker issue is more of a judgement call on my character, rather than any percieved threat of STD. That took place when I was between 16 - 18, & I've been tested plenty of times since, & I am clean. The anger issue was also as a 16 - 18 year old kid.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Hi, I appreciate your honesty. However I think wanting to know about the hooker issue is more of a judgement call on my character, rather than any percieved threat of STD. That took place when I was between 16 - 18, & I've been tested plenty of times since, & I am clean. The anger issue was also as a 16 - 18 year old kid. Listen, don't worry about this stuff too much. Many women have a strong desire to fix you anyway. This will just give them something tangible to work on. Don't think they will walk out on you because you had ED as a teen. The plastic surgery should be fine too, as long as you don't look like michael jackson.
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