musengusi Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years now, and was planning to propose to her in the not so distant future. Recently though, we'd not been talking much but she wouldn’t say much about it and, when asked, just said that there was nothing wrong. The other day though, she tells me that she’s not happy in the relationship and went on to say that she needs some time apart. She says that she’s not/ doesn’t think that she’s in love with me and, at the minute, doesn’t miss me when we’re apart. I recently was offered a teacher training course a long way away and she said the thought of me going doesn’t make her upset at all. The other reasons she gave are that she feels that she / we are just going through the motions at the minute and that she would like our relationship to feel like it’s new. Is that even possible? How can I make it feel new when I’ve been with her so long already? I can make it more exciting but it will never feel like it’s new? Will it? To add insult to injury though she says she’s been feeling like this since the end of January, which just happens to coincide with her going on an 6 week (over 6 weekends, every other weekend) hiking leader course where she met lots of new people, but one other guy in particular. She confessed to me that she thinks she would definitely have feelings for him if she was single and also that she thinks she may have some feelings for him now. She said she’d never cheat on me, even during the “break,” and I believe her, as I trust her, but she has been going out with him and his friends recently too and plans to do so whatever happens between us as she gets on with him. But I’m finding that and the situation too hard to handle. She also says that although we’re having a “break we should go out on “dates” every now and then and see if we can get that “new feeling” back. I’ve arranges some stuff, which she has said yes too, thank god, but I feel like I’m competing against this new guy. Which, I guess I am. How, after 7 years do I compete with something new and exciting, how do I stay sane, when she’s out with him? I can’t eat or sleep. How do I stay happy and cheerful enough on the dates knowing that the next day she could be out with him and she probably won’t think about me once, whilst I’m at home feeling like cr*p trying not to fall ever deeper into the black hole and emptiness. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my whole world is breaking apart 9which I guess it is) Please can somebody help me [FONT=Wingdings][/FONT]
Beautiful Inside Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 ok check this out, she doesnt love you or sincerly deeply care for you...i could never imagine being inlove with my bf like i am and looking or letting another guy come inot the picture. now if she was just staying with yoy and being misserable knowing she didnt want to be alone so she stayed cus girls are scared to be alone and scared of change then its understandable that she moved on but it sux that she did this to you left you out in the cold alone. she should hav broken things off sooner when she knew she was finished with you... im so sry please believe me when i say they're are so many wodnerful women out there that have so much love to give. im one of those women that my bf doesnt ever have to even slightly worry about me he knows im so loyal and faithful to him. and thats how all girls should make their bf's feel. cause we deserve the same thing a guy to make us feel like we dont have to worry about them cheating on us etc... i promise you their are other women out there that youll never have to play games with no more they just want to love you and be loved.
gwynieatpain Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I'm sorry to hear this. It seems to me that you guys are not on the same page for a very long time, her affections to you was gone long before you noticed. I'm not sure if bringing new excitements could help the case. She's too comfortable to be with you but wants that "new feelings" back because this particular guy she met has reminded her for the butterflies in her stomach. She also knows that you would never leave her so she's now slogging her gut out for the new love adventure. You are not competing against this guy, you are competing with her love fantasy deep down, and that you are endlessly giving until you' been drained out. So obvious that it's a red flag. I don't have good advice here but I tell you what I would do. Stop seeing her but before that, let her know you still care for her yet you need respect and is not going to wait around. She would come back only when she realize who's important to her life. I know you don't want to lose her but first you have to take care of yourself. Hope this help.
Author musengusi Posted March 13, 2009 Author Posted March 13, 2009 cheers peeps. took yours/friends etc advice and I decided to call it a day. oh well.
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