Tryagain Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 I have been dating a guy for 2 1/2 months. Within the first month I was staying at his house, meeting each others' parents, he even offered to give me a set of keys. We also planned a trip to Mexico which was amazing! He is a genuine guy and we have amazing chemistry and we don't fight.. until the other night. We got back from Mexico and things started changing. He was stressed about a project and has been working non-stop. I feel like the honeymoon stage is already over and I want it back! I am being the stupid girl that wants more attention and I hate being that girl. He said that he has felt really tired since getting back and he appologizes for being boring. I think he is pulling away... FYI... Him: Late 20's, workaholic (like my dad), talented, can't slow down. Was married for a couple years. Broke up a year ago b/c she cheated on him. He was crushed, maybe needs more time to get over it. Me: Early 30's. (3 yr age gap) Changing careers, (maybe some insecurity b/c of that) Plenty of serious relationships but never married. Never cheated or been cheated on, almost all good past relationships. Not the best at communicating. Fight or Flee.. I am the latter. I need your advice!! My family is warm and hugs a lot. His is distant and focuses on work. (50 hrs/wk= good, 70 hrs/wk= come on!) My parents divorced b/c my dad worked too much. I am really falling for him. His guard is going up and the adjustment to reality is setting in. He said he is in a slump. Is he emotionally unavailable or should I take a step back from the relationship?? I don't want to push him away.
sugarmomma Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Give him all the time he needs and refocus on the things that make you happy. Do not call him. Since he is the one that backed away you have to let him come back on his own. Good Luck!
Beautiful Inside Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 i agree with Suger mamma its true let him come around when he's ready. i read on a post here before somone was feling the same way and somone posted somthing saying that thats really normal for relationships to go in cycles for most people when your giving your all and want to be really lovey dovey the other person is on a different page, then when they're feeling the way you were feeling you then arent feeling the same way....i think thats normal atleast thats my bf and i too i hate that i wish people could just be lovey dovey all a the same time lol
samiam143 Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 Give him time. It isn't healthy to be in a relationship and NOT disagree at some point or another. It would just be weird to agree with the other person 24/7. He's just stressed, so you don't stress. Be his comfort and fun. You say the honeymoon is over? Don't let it be... Keep that spark going! You need to be the one to keep his mind from overloading and stressing out. Plan some stuff to give him breaks here and there. Good luck! PS my guy is the SAME way. He's stressed about finances, he's overworked, has extra stuff on weekends, marathons, me, his kids, etc etc. You just gotta be the supporter. He'll be thankful for it.
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