Over the line, I think

[voldigicam]

I'm over the line, I know. Really.

 

My SO spends all her time in the evenings on facebook, so I've been IMing and generally getting to know people. We're in a remote area, so actually spending time with folks is difficult.

 

A brief test with a younger interesting companion showed that it didn't hurt me. I still love my SO and I can compartmentalize my life well enough. And I have memories of a very hot experience with someone pierced in places I've never seen.

 

Now I have an IM companion. Started with some business stuff and dog stuff. Then into the quite naughty. As usual, I didn't really figure out age and so on very quickly, although I suspected young. She has an SO who is not a snuggly guy. I have an SO who isn't all that snuggly. She has a naughty streak. So do I. Whereas my SO is conventional. I know she has lovers as well as an SO, so it's OK on her end.

 

I met her for an afternoon snack and drink. Figured she'd be in work clothes. She wasn't. She was - well. An amazing lady in an amazing outfit with liquid eyes. And she liked me, too. We walked a little and hugged.

 

IMing later, I thought she'd be back to the usual. But she started out expressing how she was so sorry we couldn't go make out somewhere.

 

Talk about starting a mind virus.

 

Fortunately, we've been backing off and are negotiating rules of engagement. I'm clearer on what she wants, getting clearer on what would work.

 

This is exciting, terrifying, and so wrong.

 

I wish my SO would wake up and snuggle a bit. But it's not really her fault she sleeps.

 

Just clearing my mind. Probably won't spend any bed time with ms. snuggly, but it's sure got things running around my head.

[Dexter Morgan]

vold.....when are you going to breakup with your SO since you clearly are disrespecting her?

 

Granted, I wouldn't really want a woman that is a facebook addict...but why not just break up?

[Untouchable_Fire]

This is exciting, terrifying, and so wrong.

I wish my SO would wake up and snuggle a bit. But it's not really her fault she sleeps.

Just clearing my mind. Probably won't spend any bed time with ms. snuggly, but it's sure got things running around my head.

 

Just an FYI. This wont end well. I know from experience.

 

You need to break up with your SO, or talk her into changing.

 

I gave mine a shot to change, and she did for about a month... in the end we were just not right.

 

Go for real happiness, not just a little here and a little there.

[voldigicam]

Yeah, I know.

 

Things are getting steadily better. Just some turbulence.

 

daylight savings is already helping.

[Kasan]

I see this as just a tragic situation for you and your wife.

 

When ours vows are repeated back to each other, I think we never really understand how bad "the for better or worse" can get do we?

 

Has your wife been able to get outside and exercise a little more? How are you doing with making plans on taking a vacation?

 

And....... of course you know that you are over the line, or you wouldn't be posting here.

 

I'm hoping with the good weather coming, you and your wife will be able to go out more and hopefully she won't need to sleep as much.

 

Head injuries take a long time to heal but know, that even after all this time, your wife can continue to improve.

 

Wishing you the best.

[voldigicam]

Yeah, we've gotten on the road twice. She grins and dances along just fine. A little of entry stress, but once she's out there it's good.

 

Then she'll snap back into quiet depression for a while.

 

So it's that push - pull thing.

 

She's just gone so placid. It's a real challenge. Sleep in the morning. Sleep in the evening. It's been not even like being married. Better than being a nurse and mom and dad and maintenance man and all that.

 

We have a vacation planned next week. So that's super.

 

We've agreed to get me onto facebook where she spends all her time. I don't know how that will work. They play games and I'm not much into that.

 

And I do get distracted by bright shiny objects, just like a large mouthed bass.

 

She used to be so sexy. I hope it returns. Just when I'm really giving up, or have given up, she'll light up for an evening.

[Kasan]

She's just gone so placid. It's a real challenge. Sleep in the morning. Sleep in the evening. It's been not even like being married. Better than being a nurse and mom and dad and maintenance man and all that.

 

I know someone who had a serious head injury ten years ago.

 

He's not the same person that he was, but then again, he has come so far, and we are very lucky that he is still with us. He probably will never be that same person again, but the interesting part for all of us, is that he has developed a very quirky sense of humor that he never had before.

 

Of course, he was eighteen when this happened, and wasn't involved in a marriage.

 

I wonder when a spouse becomes a caregiver how the relationship can continue to flourish, as the roles and terms of the marriage have been completely changed.

 

Is there a support group that you can join that can help you sort this out?

[voldigicam]

I don't know about support groups. The best thing is for her to just get out and ride.

 

Things clearly are clicking up, though. We snuggled and talked for a long time last night. That was nice. Essential. Worked. Feeling reconnected more. I'm still reprogramming myself. Putting it as caregiver really focused stuff. I need to transition from caregiver to husband again. I can probably do that now that I can think of that better.

 

And my IM friend who I met have sort of mutually backed off. Which is probably best. Just a flirtation.

 

But here's the weird thing. My IM flirt friend starting chatting with my SO. Which was odd. I haven't heard from her in a couple of days, no emails or anything. So I was watching. Had to go fire up my computer and tell my friend to back off a little. I thought I was watching a little chit chat. Then I thought I was watching a little seduction start. My IM friend is seductive, very seductive. Very. So maybe it was just the way she comes across. I don't mind really I suppose, but it's just really startling to see a female coming on to my SO. I could IM my flirty friend I suppose, see what's up.

 

Life is extremely interesting.

[Liquid]

Is this "IM friend" the young prostitue that you'e been using?

[carhill]

Life is extremely interesting.

Ruh, roh..... I know that phrase well....