Chantal Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 At my work my boss has preferences among his employees. Although I am the best and a very hard worker, still he totally ignores me. He has his own gang of preferred employees. I feel sometimes terrible and lonely because of this obvious treatment. I ask myself what else should I do to be treated fairly? But all I get is to be ostracized. Please help.
TwinkletOes26 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 What i would do in your situation is keep working anf ignore what others do including your boss. If his playing favorites is preventing you from moving up ie getting more money then the only thing i can think of is try and find another job. Im sorry this is happeneing to you i mean its normal for people to click better with some than others but he should not be ignoring you especially if you are a good worker. Oh i forgot you can also talk to him. Dont make acusations just say "i would really like for our work relationship to improve is there something you feel i should be doing that im not" something like that. Hope this helps
Kamille Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 I'm intrigued by the fact that you present yourself as the "best" in what you do. This gives me the impression that, like me, you probably work in a competetive field where peer recognition is important. The work world is set up in such a way that being the best doesn't always mean you will get the recognition you feel you deserve and I say this after having been treated unfairly by my boss in the last round of budget talks. You know what I did? I took a step back and stopped making being the best a priority. For awhile I looked for another job in another field. Paradoxically, as I stopped obsessing about the quality of my work and getting recognition for it, my relationship with my boss and coworkers improved. Also, the quality of my work hasn't suffered. Good work doesn't always mean best work. Best is just an attitude - and sometimes one that is detrimental to building a good work environment. Then again, maybe the only thing you need to work on to win him over are your "soft skills". Don't become a sucker, but do try to show up at work with a smile on your face. Try to memorize stuff about your coworkers and your boss, such as where/when they go on vacations, what their kids are up to, etc and then, when appropriate, ask them about whatever is of interest to them. Basically, show a respectful minimal interest in their lives. But do try to take a step back from the situation and, as much as possible, make other things then work a priority in your life. Make time for your friends and family. Do activities that you love. And like TT26 suggested, think about your other job opportunities and options. Your sanity and happiness come first.
Author Chantal Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 Thank you so much !!! No one ever told me these wonderful suggestions. I will try to take it easy and start enjoying my life a little bit more.
Author Chantal Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 I agree with you, I should not make it a big deal, thank you so much.
dmarisca Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 It happens always. We can't stop it. There's a limit, if the favorite person not delivering but getting more benefits means, we need to inform HR about this or we need to take it up with boss to highlight the issue. Otherwise it will not change for ever. We need to know the tolerance limit.
WTRanger Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 I was in a very similar situation where the boss had his little running crew of favorite employees. They CLEARLY got preferential treatment when it came to raises and what types of work they got. In the end, it cost me my job when it came time to lay people off. The boss kept his favorites and cut everyone else. I take solace that his decisions are single handedly tanking that company and when he goes down at least he'll surrounded by his crew of "yes men." I could not go to HR because the HR director was the boss's wife. It sucks. If anyone brought it up with the boss they were fired. The old adage, the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Wrong! It should read the squeaky wheel is the first one to be replaced. Or, the tallest blade of grass is the first one to get cut. This is why working in an "at will" employment state sucks balls.
Author Chantal Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 Again thank you all for you wonderful suggestions. It is indeed very sad that despite all my best effort and kindness towards my boss and coworkers, still I feel rejected. But I cannot change myself, as long as I will work for this place, I will continue to be nice and do the best as I can.
nana yaw II Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 well, OP, i think to a good degree favouritism is part of life. we all have persons who we like better than others, or who we click with better, or who we understand/understand us better. to discriminate (by this i mean to have preferences) is part of being human. But IMO, its boils down to this. Even though your boss doesn't see you as a preferred employee, still do your best. No one is indispensable; an employee is valuable to a firm provided that he/she works competently, gets on with his/her coworkers, is not dishonest or steal from the company, etc. so if you continue to do good work, this really is all that should matter, since you'd be an asset to the boss and the firm at large. if the favoritism leads to being denied promotion, or being bullied/harassed. then by all means feel aggreived, but until then just knuckle down and make your boss know you're a vital part of his team and must rely on you for well-executed work. so even if you're not his favorite, he cannot afford to discount you.
era Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 It is indeed very sad that despite all my best effort and kindness towards my boss and coworkers, still I feel rejected. Chantal... You go out into the world, and you are who you choose to be - and some people will like it, and others won't. That's just the way it is.
Author Chantal Posted March 15, 2009 Author Posted March 15, 2009 [ so even if you're not his favorite, he cannot afford to discount you. Thank you so much for your support, I really admire your way of thinking. I am indeed a very important asset and was recognized many times as the " best employee " and my boss knows that. No one ever did what I have contributed for this workplace, and he knows that also. I am the prettiest and nicest employee ever, and he knows that too, but still I am out of his circle.
Kamille Posted March 15, 2009 Posted March 15, 2009 Is it possible your boss feels threatened by you?
Shygirl15 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Please help. Help yourself out Chantal. If you think the situation is unbearable, start looking for another job that will offer a better working environment for you. I was/am in a similar situation for the past 2 years. My boss clearly has preferences among his staff members, and in addition, tends to look down on people of certain races. Did not sit well with me. My last day is March 24:bunny:!
TwinkletOes26 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Shy girl how do you look for a job when you already have one? Ive always wondered this like when you have a interview during work hours what do you say?
Phateless Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 Shy girl how do you look for a job when you already have one? Ive always wondered this like when you have a interview during work hours what do you say? "doctor's appointment."
TwinkletOes26 Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 "doctor's appointment." Ah i thought so but dont some places require a doctors note i know my moms job did but she taught school LOL
Recommended Posts