DaschundLover Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Wow, anyone reading this was saved from reading my ridiculously long post by the website automatically logging me out because I took too long. Let me try to be more brief. I am a 25 year-old female married to my high school sweetheart. When we were young he was charming, sweet, and extremely respectful. We have lived together for 5 years and been married for one and a half. We've made two separate moves together now, him going where I wanted to go (grudgingly) both times. He physically abused me for a year after we initially started living together when I was 20. Stopped, hasn't really done it again since. We were both really excited about leaving the state we were in during college to move back home and get married. He had to stay behind for a little while and was supposed to finish a degree. Time ran out, he came down here with me. Never really got a job, developed a drinking, smoking, and prescription drug problem. Found out five months ago that he is also having inappropriate internet chats with people that know he is married. He says it was the drinking, but a few weeks ago he gave up drinking and I caught him red-handed having one of these chats. He tried to convince me that it wasn't happening and that I was crazy to be making such a big fuss. I was fed up, so I kicked him out to go live with his parents. We don't have any kids and I really enjoy my work as a graduate student. Our sex is not good. I don't know what to do from here. Was I right to kick him out? Every time I talk to him on the phone I get pissed, so our communication is limited to texting. What should I do next? So far I have been enjoying the time apart from him because our interaction had become pretty limited to him complaining about me. He is being sweet to me now and it makes me even angrier because I feel like he's just doing that to get back with me and it won't solve anything if I just take him back. Is there any good argument in staying in this relationship other than the "for better or worse" bull**** (I call this bull**** because he already broke the faithfulness part of the marriage agreement)? If you can, i'd love to hear it. Or, should I just cut my losses before it gets any worse?
Gunny376 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Run Forrest run! Of course not! Part of becoming a fully self-actualized adult is in setting aside such nonsense that out-dated cultural/societal/religious training taught to us in our youth aside. It never ceases to amaze me that people today still subscribe to the morality and ethics of some old bearded goat herder of two thousand years ago. Back in his day, women were a liability and sons were an asset, (the equivalent of Social Security, a 401K, and IRA combined) Daughters were traded off to other families as wives, and back then before birth control the only way to ensure that the children they bore were legitimate was that she was a virgin? This is still the prevalent attitude in the Middle East, the Orient, and parts of Euorpe!
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