sam light Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 First, I don't mean that in an awful way.(but i got your attention) She is an educated adult who has a good job, driver's license, and a mortgage. Some sort of manic depressive, obsessive compulsive. She works in the building next to me and we say hello at lunch. As with most people, I'd like to have pleasant conversations and a laugh or two with her. And yes maybe more depending on how well we get along. What is the best way to interact with someone like that. Treating her just like anyone else has gotten most people nowhere with her. Seducing or not, what are the pitfalls and sensitive issues to deal with?
Tony T Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 If all you're wanting to do is screw her, have a heart. GEEZE, she's got enough problems without being taken advantage of. If you are really interested in her, before you begin a pursuit study up on her problems. Depending on the intensity of her problems, you could be in for some real hell. Take the moments one at a time and forget about seducing somebody like that.
era Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Pardon me for saying so , but none of your post makes any sense to me. She works in the buiding next to you, you sometimes say hello at lunch. Where does the manic, depressive, obsessive, compulsive, judgement come from?
Author sam light Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 If all you're wanting to do is screw her, have a heart. I made it clear enough that I'd enjoy pleasant conversations and would be open to more if we hit it off. Where did you get "screw her". forget about seducing somebody like that If it was something terrible like bi-polar, I would agree. But the PC police say that people with mental challenges want full lives (including romance) like everyone else. Pardon me for saying so , but none of your post makes any sense to me. She works in the buiding next to you, you sometimes say hello at lunch. Where does the manic, depressive, obsessive, compulsive, judgement come from? Even if the post didn't mention the source of info on her condition, it still makes sense. Your reaction suggests that you might have your own issues with one of those disorders. I apologize if I seemed judgmental. Far from condeming her, I want to be friendly, maybe friends, maybe more. The evaluation of her issues comes indirectly from her. She has told others of her issues. It's possible to befriend the mentally challenged, I'm just hoping to do it right and appreciate any guidance.
EnigmasMuse Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 The first step might be, to read up on Manic depression, and OCD just so you'll be a little more informed about it. Also you said something about if she were bi-polar...Manic Depression IS bi-polar...it used to be called "Manic Depression." Just google either bi-polar or manic depression and OCD.
tbaby82 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 i think if you really care about her and her situation you would take your time with her. do a little research and find out more about her and vis versa. in a situation like that let her come to you when she is ready if that is what she wants. i remember my boyfriend asking me what is that i don't like for a man to do and i told him that i've never liked men that force themselves on me. just take your time;)
2sure Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 If she is functioning so well, she probably has meds for the depression or bi-polar. The OCD is whats tricky. It may be something that embarasses her and she tries to hide - so avoids dating. OR it may be something that makes dating her difficult. A friend of mine has a few OCDs that revolve around food. She can often get around them, but when her life is especially happy, stressful,exciting...they become obvious and people find her strange. Many people with disorders of this type include food related behaviors - so they avoid dates that include meals. Ask her to do something like go to a move or a walk if you get the opportunity. But asking how you should talk to her - she has some issues - but she aint crazy!
SummerSun Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 If it was something terrible like bi-polar, I would agree. Manic Depression IS Bi-polar. It is a psychotic illness and much more serious than depression, anxiety, stress, OCD or other neurotic illnesses. If you do decide to seek a relationship with someone suffering from a psychotic illness than you are going to have to be very very strong and be prepared that there is going to be hell of a lot of rough with the smooth. In the first instance I would advice to treat her as normal until she feels ready and able to talk to you about her illnesses.
gopher Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 She probably needs a trustworthy, non-judgemental friend, so I would focus on that for now.
Trimmer Posted March 13, 2009 Posted March 13, 2009 I made it clear enough that I'd enjoy pleasant conversations and would be open to more if we hit it off. Where did you get "screw her". Uh... the subject of your thread is "Seducing the mentally challenged..." What does "seducing" mean to you? If it was something terrible like bi-polar, I would agree. I think it was mentioned above, but just to be sure, you do know that "bipolar" is the current term for what used to be referred to as "manic depressive," yes?
Author sam light Posted March 14, 2009 Author Posted March 14, 2009 Thank You to the many helpful posters. I've heard so many bad stories about Bi-polar and am glad to be made aware that it's the same as manic depressive.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 Talk to her without drawing any attention to her emotional disorders. People who have these problems are used to having their disorders be the center of their world in every aspect: their dating life, their professional life, etc. Don't talk to her like she is a bipolar OCD sufferer. Talk to her like she is a woman you want to get to know better. If she tries to talk about her emotional stuff this early in, just gently change the subject - for example: if she starts talking about her meds, acknowledge what she says and work the conversation around to what music she listens to, stuff like that. By acknowledging her emotional stuff you are showing you are accepting of it - but by changing the subject you are showing that you are more interested in her, not her emo stuff. Ask her out for coffee or something so that you can continue the conversation outside of a work environment. She won't be expecting it, and she won't be able to put up the OCD BP wall. That is pretty much what she does and why people can't get anywhere with her. There is plenty of time to talk about the other stuff - after you get to know her much, much better. If you still can't get anywhere with her at all, she may simply just not be interested, OCD BP or not.
kashmir Posted March 14, 2009 Posted March 14, 2009 People with mental problems want relationships and romance just as much as anyone else. Usually, though, they settle on the fact that no matter what they're going to be incompatible with most people and generally won't fit in. I speak from experience. I'm on meds for paranoid schizophrenia and depression. I'm normal like anyone else most of the time. I obviously still am interested in women and don't think I should be barred out because of my illness. Treat her like a normal person, but have more tolerance and acceptance for any inconsistencies she might show. That's the ebst advice I can give.
sveltskye Posted March 16, 2009 Posted March 16, 2009 I am a person diagnosed with bipolar and I must say that I am really sickened by the rap that it has. I doubt that many people will believe me, but I am actually very stable yet if anyone learns that I am bipolar they would immediately assume that I'm completely f-ed up just because there is such a stigma about the term. A lot of people deal with mental illness and still can contribute a lot to the world, so don't pre judge a person based on a diagnosis. Judge them on their personality, your unique interactions with them. Everyone deserves that much, to be treated like an individual, and just like every personality is different, a disease like bipolar manifests itself differently from person to person. Did you know for example, that there are two different forms of the disease? Bipolar One means that a person has been fully manic at some point, while bipolar 2 manifests more in depressive episodes and some hypomanic episodes, which are less severe than full mania. You're not gonna know how what you're dealing with until you understand how her disease manifests, and that's not really something you can know without knowing her personally. I suggest you try viewing her as a person instead of a disease, and getting to know her as such. You don't have any obligation to deal with her problems, but the least you can do is treat them and her with respect. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised. One more thing to think about: A lot of people sabatoge relationships just fine without having a diagnosis. At least you know coming in where the person's handicaps might be.
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