zilverenvlinder Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I've been seeing J since Christmas. I know that's not THAT long. He is a stunning work of physical hotness but he might be the biggest commitmentphobe I've ever been with. I mean, whenever I'm with him he makes sure I'm taken care of. He buys me everything, he makes sure that everyone knows I'm "his girl" when we go to the bar (but not girlfriend) and he rarely forgets to text/email me back. However.. he never initiates calling me. Never. The second I suggest that we hang out (we work together...I know, I know) he is always all about it. But I never get a, "Hey how's it going" text or, "Good night" or anything unless I do it first. It's the weirdest thing. Part of me thinks I just like him because of the way he looks. I really don't know. I've never been so shallow in my life. Maybe it's just the chase. On Saturday night he was a little drunk and he asked me if I wanted to go to his mother's house for dinner the next day. I was soooo shocked/pleased. The next day I texted him and said "Do you still want me to go with you?" He said "Maybe I donno my family's embarrassing." So I said "Ok call me when you figure it out." He didn't text me until like 8:00 pm and told me he just stopped over there real quick, sorry he didn't call me. Blaaah. Ladies, would you take this as just "taking it slow" or would you be fed up with this sort of stuff? And guys...how does this all sound to you? Is he being a nut or do you think he likes me?
GAchasen Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 However.. he never initiates calling me. Never. The second I suggest that we hang out (we work together...I know, I know) he is always all about it. But I never get a, "Hey how's it going" text or, "Good night" or anything unless I do it first. ...Is he being a nut or do you think he likes me? I think I have the same problem. But I think is depends on him. What is his past relationships like (the one most recent). He may not be wanting a serious relationship right now. I think he may be trying to take is very slow. So, you can stay with him or leave him alone. Those are your options. He may like you. Guys don't think like women...(Wishing goodnight) is a women thing. good luck:)
Author zilverenvlinder Posted March 12, 2009 Author Posted March 12, 2009 LOL! Wishing good night is a woman thing? That's hilarious because now that I think about it it's true. I honestly don't know anything about his past relationships. The only thing I know is that he lived with a girl a long time ago. I don't even know what happened. He knows absolutely nothing about my past relationships. I plan on keeping it that way unless he straight out asks. The worst part is after I wrote this post, I went a little berserk and texted him "Thanks a lot for texting me back!" and then he didn't text me again, so I said, "What the hell, are you mad at me?" and then I called him and he didn't answer. Then he texted me and said, "Sorry sweetie I was playing a game." Ugh. That's seriously the craziest I've ever acted throughout this whole thing. LOL. I must be an idiot.
You'reasian Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 However.. he never initiates calling me. Never. The second I suggest that we hang out (we work together...I know, I know) he is always all about it. But I never get a, "Hey how's it going" text or, "Good night" or anything unless I do it first. It's the weirdest thing. Part of me thinks I just like him because of the way he looks. I really don't know. I've never been so shallow in my life. Maybe it's just the chase. Sounds like both. You are attracted to him and you need the chase. Lots of women do and would prefer to use their time to go after men, while avoiding those that go after them.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 The worst part is after I wrote this post, I went a little berserk and texted him "Thanks a lot for texting me back!" and then he didn't text me again, so I said, "What the hell, are you mad at me?" and then I called him and he didn't answer. Then he texted me and said, "Sorry sweetie I was playing a game." Ugh. That's seriously the craziest I've ever acted throughout this whole thing. LOL. I must be an idiot. Wooooooah. Back off, girl! Completely. You are looking desperate. I never contact the guy in the early stages. At all. If you want to know if he likes you, completely stop initiating contact. You'll find out pretty quickly whether or not he likes you.
bean1 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 Look at his actions rather than his words. He doesn't call you. He doesn't take you to see his family (doesn't matter what he SAID). If you think the material things that he buys for you make up for this behaviour, then fine, but I wouldn't consider a dinner or purse to be worth my dignity. You may be getting material goods but you are robbing yourself of your dignity in return. A man who cares about a woman will always contact her and nothing will stop that.
btc8 Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 It sounds sort of like he's a flake. You also preface this post with his fear of commitment... Think about this: Do you really want to spend your time with somebody trying to solidify the groundwork for a potential relationship if he has problems committing? It is frustrating and useless, as this is one of those, it's not you, but him thing! His indecisiveness will reflect in his actions--if he's wishey-washey being tied down, then he will send out those kind of signals. The only thing that his lack of decisiveness gets you is more confused and doubtful. It's not you, really, this is him. I'd say just back off and take some to contemplate if you want to spend the rest of your time putting energy in something that will not benefit you in some way.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 12, 2009 Posted March 12, 2009 He sounds immature and you sound like you're doing all the work. Stop contacting him. If he's a man and he's into you, he'll contact you.
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