4everloveu Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I'm single and met this single man 2 years ago. At that time he told me that he in an A for 10 yrs. At some point he try to go no contact with her and that when I met him. He said that she didn't want to get a divorce. There is no kid involved, as the woman didn't have kid. We didn't contact each other for 9 months. Since our work related, I email him and we start to talk again. I thought I could forget him and move on. I noticed that he still love her and waitting for her to get divorce. I never felt this way before, care and love him so much. Any thought or advice please.
Athena Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 For your own sake don't triangulate a relationship even further than it already is! Three people in a relationship does not work -- him, her, and her husband is 3. Now you are trying to make your own three people drama -- him, her and YOU. Don't get involved because you cannot make him stop his feelings for her... clearly he is very much in love with her to be waiting on the sidelines for ten years... you cannot make him fall in love with you, and you will only land up getting hurt if you let him have any kind of relationship with you. The only sensible choices you have are 1) To wait for him to be 'clean' from her for several months before getting together with him 2) To Never Get with him Sure, you have other choices, like being his 'sidedish' if he wants you, but that is not sensible, is it now? Is that what you want? To mean nothing to him??
bentnotbroken Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Leave him alone. He is in mess, that you don't want to be in with the 2 of them.
Author 4everloveu Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I'll try to move on, i know it not easy. I try in the past, but maybe not try hard enough. He also in pain to wait for her call when ever she have time.
bentnotbroken Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I'll try to move on, i know it not easy. I try in the past, but maybe not try hard enough. He also in pain to wait for her call when ever she have time. That isn't your problem. This is a 10 year problem that he has helped to establish and keep going. I wish I could say I feel bad for him, I don't. He has to find his own way out. And you don't want that drama no matter how much you care.
Author 4everloveu Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I understand it's his problem not mind. He want a way out but don't know how. Maybe until the other woman find out about their A. Than she need to make dicission. I just wonder if she have any guilt toward her husband for cheating.
bentnotbroken Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I understand it's his problem not mind. He want a way out but don't know how. Maybe until the other woman find out about their A. Than she need to make dicission. I just wonder if she have any guilt toward her husband for cheating. He knows the way out. He isn't married, you walk away. He isn't innocent and simple (is he?) Common sense, backbone, character, a conscious are all things that tell him how to get out. If he had any feeling for her H, he wouldn't have given her a minute of his life, much less 10 years. He isn't the one who is being deceived, her H is. He knew she was married. All he had to do was think how he would feel in her H position. Maybe he needs to go to counseling to help him develop some self esteem.
Author 4everloveu Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 hi Ben, if he could read what you wrote than he wouldn't gone that far.
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