normphi Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Hello, I met this woman on a personal site. we were seeming to click real well. We made arrangements to go out on our first date. When I called her she dropped her phone just as we were going to make arrangements for the date. Next day she apologized and we still were communicting through text mesages. It all dropped of mid day thursday and we were supposed to go out on sat. Never made arrangments or anything so no date. Late on the night we were supposed to go out she e-mailed me and told me here Grandfather was in the hospital and took a turn for the worse. She appologized and said when things calm down she still wanted to go out and she would call in the next couple of days. Been 3 days and no contact. I have text her about three times and Called her 2 and emailed her once. all with no replies. I know when she is online and when she checks my profile. Everytime I contacted her it was just saying hope things are ok. and in the e-mail I told her she needs to take care of her family and I would be here when she was ready so no rush. I believe in finding out if things work with one person when clicking as well as we did before dating anyone else. I dont believe in dating more than one woman at a time. We clicked real good so I need to find out if this will turn into anything before I move on. I just dont know if I should try and contact her more often or not at all and wait for her to contact me. I mean if her grandfather died and then I understand the no contact to a point but it takes a second to text "I am ok just need time". or just tell me to move on. I just dont know what to do so I dont push her away. But at the same time I am looking for a way to find out if she is still interested with out rushing her.
Nebo74 Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 OK No offense, because we all get this way from time to time (God knows I have).. But you sound desperate and if I can read it here, then I'm sure she picked up on it also. Over the course of 3 days you attempted to contact her FIVE times? So what she is seeing is that while your words say “ I’ll be here when you’re ready so no rush.” your actions are doing the very opposite. You should NOT attempt contact her any more. Start talking to other girls and let her be. Honestly, and I’m sorry to say this, but if I was her, I wouldn’t contact you as your presenting yourself in a very needy and selfish manner during a time when she needs to focus on her personal life.
rlindzie Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 i agree with N, i think you should let it be and start talking to other girls. if she wants to meet you she will contact you, but if you stop now you wont seem as desperate. and there is not issue with talking to other girls i do that on dating sites and i stope when my bf [from the site] made it official with me.
Frankasy Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Hmm, well her grandfather died, I say give her 4-5 more days, send her a text/email on the 4-5 day, if you don't get an answer within 24 hours, NC. No, don't send her anymore texts/emails/voicemails or whatever it is that you send her, you've already sent enough and may have created her the impression that you'll do anything to be with her, don't create that impression, at least not this soon or else she'll take advantage of you. On the other hand, it does sound kinda fishy, she drops her phone avoiding further voice contact with you, family problems, can't even send you one short text to let you know that she's recieved your messages and to top it all off, you two met online. She's not worth it, find someone else.
Author normphi Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 I think i just needed to hear it. That is what I was thinking. But I just wanted to post the e-mail so you see what I am reacting to............................................................ "First of all i would like to apologize for not getting back to you and for missing our date tonight. My grandfather on my dads side as been ill for the past week and since thursday has taken a turn for the worse. Since thurs i have been trying to work, go to the hospital and do my normal mom stuff and to say the lease i am exhausted. I did get most of your messages i think alot of time at the hospital i couldnt have it on . I still would love to meet you but i may has to postpone untile things kind of settle down. Again i really really apologize for not get back toyou sooner, i actually just got home from the hospital and picking up my daughter from her friends house and i wanted to try to get in touch with you to let you know what was going on. If you call and you dont answer just leave message i will when i have a few free minutes call you......I hope with in this week we can meet up maybe for a coffee at least or something to get started.....by the way my favorite color is light green.i am spendng most of the day tomorrow after church at the hospital since i really need to be at work monday so if i dont talk to you tomorrow i will try to call sometime in the next couple of days ok..... have a great sunday and i will talk toyou soon" So I will stop trying to contact her. Thanks
Frankasy Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 I think i just needed to hear it. That is what I was thinking. But I just wanted to post the e-mail so you see what I am reacting to............................................................ [COLOR=#333333]"First of all i would like to apologize for not getting back to you and for missing our date tonight. My grandfather on my dads side as been ill for the past week and since thursday has taken a turn for the worse. Since thurs i have been trying to work, go to the hospital and do my normal mom stuff and to say the lease i am exhausted. I did get most of your messages i think alot of time at the hospital i couldnt have it on . I still would love to meet you but i may has to postpone untile things kind of settle down. Again i really really apologize for not get back toyou sooner, i actually just got home from the hospital and picking up my daughter from her friends house and i wanted to try to get in touch with you to let you know what was going on. If you call and you dont answer just leave message i will when i have a few free minutes call you......I hope with in this week we can meet up maybe for a coffee at least or something to get started.....by the way my favorite color is light green.i am spendng most of the day tomorrow after church at the hospital since i really need to be at work monday so if i dont talk to you tomorrow i will try to call sometime in the next couple of days ok..... have a great sunday and i will talk toyou soon"[/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333][/COLOR] [COLOR=#333333]So I will stop trying to contact her. Thanks[/COLOR] Hmmm well from the looks of that it does state why she hasn't been replying to your emails and messages. Still it kinda sounds a little bit fake, I dunno, she seems too open, too detailed with someone that she met online(You) and than again she uses the phrase "get started". Take my first advice, if she doesn't reply within 4-5 days, not worth it anymore.
Author normphi Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 What I dont get is why she keeps checking my profile on the dating site. It shows you who was the last to view you. Like she is checking to see my activity or something.
yeex Posted March 11, 2009 Posted March 11, 2009 Let it go. You contacted her enough. Overanalyzing it and trying to contact her too much is the thing guys do when they only have one option and it makes you look desperate. Who cares that she keeps looking at your profile online. Maybe she is playing games. You don't even know her. She has your contact info and will contact you if she is interested. Start talking to other girls and you may find one better or at least get your mind off this one so much. There is nothing wrong with dating more than one girl at a time upfront until you find somebody that you both agree with to keep it exclusive. Sleeping with more than one girl at a time may be a different story for some people though.
Author normphi Posted March 23, 2009 Author Posted March 23, 2009 so, cool it worked out. I was patient and just waited it out. We just went out on our first date. And it was kick a$$. I guess it helps that she loves hockey and we went to a game and our team won. She wants to go out again. Thanks guys for keeping me calm.
shockandawed Posted March 23, 2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Cool..a happy ending. It's so nice when posters come back and update. Now just don't smother her Norm..lol. Best of luck!!
Author normphi Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 I posted that way to soon. Last night ended with me texting her that I made it home ok. Told her I had a great she text back she had a great time too. Then today I text her Good morning as usual and no answer all day. I know what ever happened has nothing to do with me and it is just the way she is. and cause she still does not know me that well yet I am not the one she comes to when she needs someone. I know if I just wait it out it will be fine. And now I know she is worth the wait. Just sucks, not even 1 word letting me know something, anything.
tkgirl Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 ok... I gotta say it... dude, you seriously need to CHILL!!!! if I was this girl I would be a little freaked right now... you are coming off way too eager! which reads as "desperate" and a HUGE turn off!!!
Author normphi Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 what do you mean to eager? I texted twice and left it alone this morning. We have been talking and texting for over a week since my last post. Getting to know each other. We normally text good morning to each other and text through out the day. We finally went out last night. Had a great time. I know her enough to know if she did not want to go out again she would have told me. I am just venting here. I am upset we are not close enough to were she would call me when going through something. Just being impatient, but getting it out here and not to her. It's ok to have any feelings I am having. It's how and where I handle them that matters. And venting here should be the right way to get my emotions strait.
tkgirl Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 what do you mean to eager? I texted twice and left it alone this morning. We have been talking and texting for over a week since my last post. Getting to know each other. We normally text good morning to each other and text through out the day. We finally went out last night. Had a great time. I know her enough to know if she did not want to go out again she would have told me. I am just venting here. I am upset we are not close enough to were she would call me when going through something. Just being impatient, but getting it out here and not to her. It's ok to have any feelings I am having. It's how and where I handle them that matters. And venting here should be the right way to get my emotions strait. whoa! again, let me say... chill my friend! I really was only trying to help... I didn't realize you guys were texting each other every day for a week. I sounded like to me you were stressing a bit because you two went on ONE date and already you were worried because you keep hounding her with texts and she doesn't respond the instant she gets them. I do think you sound too eager though, it's like you want that "instant relationship" and you've only been out ONCE! and I'm just trying to tell you that is a HUGE turn-off.. you keep it up and she's going to RUN!
Hersheys Posted March 24, 2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Calm down! She isn't leaving you. Maybe she's being mysterious and is playing the unavailable card. Try not to overanalyse. Just go through the motions. You're still getting to know each other. Learn and be attentive of what floats her.
Author normphi Posted March 24, 2009 Author Posted March 24, 2009 have not tried to contact her at all. I am just chilling for today. I might try a text or email tonight. I will never try more than once a day with out a response and then it is just a hello. Nothing more. I am cool how do you think I got the date in the first place. Definitally not by hounding her.just trying to get insight here.
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